[Hollows Fic] Let Sleeping Vamps Lie - Part Four

[jaina47]

Title: Let Sleeping Vamps Lie
Author(s): Jaina
Fandom: The Hollows aka Rachel Morgan aka that series by Kim Harrison
Time frame: Post-Outlaw Demon Wails
Characters: Rachel Morgan, Ivy Tamwood, Jenks, Skimmer, etc.
Genre: Romance, action, drama
Summary: Rachel is forced to confront things that she'd prefer left undisturbed.
Beta: Infinitelight and Racethewind10 were both cool enough to look over this for me and tell me what they thought of it.  Any errors that remain are entirely my own and likely a result of my not listening to their good advice.
Disclaimer: All characters, and the universe that they go with belong to Kim Harrison. I'm just playing in the sandbox. No infringement is intended.
Prompt: #6 Dread
Notes: Some of the formatting on here is a bit wonky. I worked with it for a while and couldn't get it to do anything different so my apologies for the weirdness.

Part One || Part Two II Part Three




I bit my lip, and for a second I tried to put everything I wanted to say into words, and then dismissed the thought. There was nothing I could say that would convey everything that I meant. Instead, I leaned up and pressed my lips quickly, and gently to hers, before I rocked back on my heels.

Part Four


Ivy stared at me, frozen like a deer in headlights. I caught a glimpse of her expression before she whirled and ran out of the room. Biting my lip, I thought about following, as I heard the distant sounds of her rummaging around the kitchen with vampiric strength. The loud activity was either an invitation to follow her or an indication that I should stay away while she was in her current mood.

Turn it, if I knew which it really was.

For a moment I considered following Ivy anyway. My heart was pounding in my chest and my stomach sank as if it was filled with lead. The nerves made me want to leap into action; any action.

In truth, there was only one thing that kept me inside my room. I had no idea what to say to Ivy. No idea at all. Turn it, but I was good at screwing up my personal relationships, especially after I'd told Ivy that we could never share blood and that I wasn't leading her on either.

It had felt so safe and comfortable in her arms, that it had only seemed like the perfect and completely natural culmination of that moment to kiss her. I hadn't thought past the moment or thought about the consequences of it, just that I wanted to kiss Ivy. For just that moment, I'd given in to the impulse. Now I would have to deal with it.

A flash of the last time Ivy and I had kissed went through me, followed by her sudden absence from the church and my life. I couldn't handle that again. That much, I could admit.

Pulling on a robe over my pajamas, I yanked open the door and headed towards the kitchen.

"Ivy?" I called into the room, looking around the kitchen and slowly realizing that the room was empty. Coffee still dripped into the coffee maker, but I knew with a sinking feeling that I was alone in the church. A quick trip down the hall to look at the key hanger where Ivy always kept her keys confirmed my suspicions. She was gone.

Panic filled me and I fumbled for my cell phone. My call went straight to voice mail.

"Damn it, Ivy. Answer your phone." I breathed heavily for a moment, struggling to decide what to say. "Just don't leave. Promise me that you won't leave, Ivy, please. I can't live without you in my life."

I snapped the phone shut before I could think about what I'd just said. There was nothing I could do now; following Ivy wasn't really an option. With Kisten gone, I had no idea of where she would go or who her other friends were. Ivy had always tried so hard to keep that part of her life separate from me. I could only wait until she chose to come back or call me.

Cradling a cup of coffee, I headed into the living room and sank into Ivy's favorite armchair. Her scent wrapped around me comfortingly as I sipped the coffee. I would just wait here for her to come in. It would be a lot harder for her to sneak past me this way. I would deal with what I was going to say to her when we were finally face to face.

Because that had worked so well for me the last time. I rolled my eyes and let my head loll back against the headrest. Worry gnawed at me like a pack of hungry Weres with a particularly choice bone as I considered what Ivy could be doing at the moment. Nothing good had ever come from Ivy running out of the Church, driven away by a situation that we couldn't handle.

The first time she had come home devastated from falling off the blood wagon and hysterical from the things that Piscary had done to her. The second time had almost left her in Piscary's control forever. I could only hope that this time wouldn't be worse. I wasn't sure that we could survive worse.

The thought of losing Ivy one way or another was terrifying and I was witch enough to admit it. I thought about calling her phone again, but I knew she wouldn't answer and progressively more upset voice mails wouldn't make her come home any sooner. I knew that much at least.

I thought about going to find Jenks. It was far enough past midnight that he should be awake, but something stopped me. If I couldn't be with Ivy right now, I wanted to be alone. I pressed further back into the chair and tried to relax. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly and steadily, promising myself that if Ivy wasn't back in an hour or two I would make a locator spell and go find her.

--- --- ---

I jerked forward, staring around the room wildly. My attention snapped from one corner of the room to another as I tried to figure out what had startled me. I gulped back a yelp as I realized that Ivy was standing in the shadows only a few feet away from me, unmoving and looking like a statue carved out of ivory.

"God, Ivy," I hissed through my teeth as I sagged back into the chair. "Could you be a little louder?"

The familiar complaint was out of my mouth before I could think about it or how tense the situation was. The realization that she'd caught me sitting - or more truthfully, sleeping - in her armchair was mortifying. I shot up out of the chair as if I'd been burned, wrapping my arms around my waist as I stood up awkwardly. I tipped my head down towards the chair.

"Sorry," I murmured so quietly that only Ivy, with her superior vampire hearing would have been able to hear it.

For her part, Ivy was still staring with an intensity that was almost frightening. Having her attention completely focused on me could be downright unnerving. It made me want to squirm and fidget like a rookie on my very first day of I.S. training. Of course, Ivy had seen me then too. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I blushed at the thought. It seemed like I could never do anything right. It was a wonder that Ivy still put up with me and my many screw-ups.

"I already told you that I wouldn't leave."

"What?"

Ivy's stare intensified, as if telling me that I should know what she was thinking without her having to spell it out for me. After a moment, some of the intensity of her glare faded away to be replaced with a tinge of irritation.

"When I kissed you. I told you I wouldn't leave, and I meant it."

"Oh." When she had kissed me. That kiss had faded from memory in the face of this most recent. It was dwarfed by the admittedly much tamer kiss that I had given her. I had kissed Ivy. That made it a completely different situation. "I'm glad," I blurted out abruptly. "That you're not leaving, I mean. I don't want you to leave, Ivy. Please." I couldn't seem to stop the words now as they spilled out of my mouth, but none of them were a lie. I couldn't imagine life without Ivy now. It would leave a gaping hole where she should be.

Ivy shifted her weight from one side to another and then steadied herself, focusing her attention completely on me again.

"Rachel..." She sounded tired. When I looked closer, I could see the tension in her shoulders even as she slumped slightly in on herself. "I need to know what this means. You kissed me. You said-" She hesitated, licked her lips and started again. "You said you couldn't live without me. I don't know what that means."

The pain and uncertainty in her voice tore at me. I hated seeing Ivy in pain. Even worse, I hated being the one to cause that pain. I was supposed to be her friend. I was supposed to help her and protect her, not make it worse. Still, I couldn't seem to make myself say the three little words that I was thinking.

Instead, I tried to put it into words in another way.

"When you hold me," I said, forcing the words around the lump in my throat, "I feel safe." I swallowed and tried to steady myself. Turn it, but it would not be good if I passed out trying to have this conversation. I had come so far from the days when I passed out at any little thing. I was so much stronger now, even when all I wanted to do was go run and hide. "I believe you when you tell me that I'm safe." And it had been years since I'd believed that. The monsters were big, bad and scary. They had teeth, fangs and power beyond what I could imagine. Anyone could be dead just like that.

Saying that seemed to make me steadier on my feet and I breathed a sigh of relief. Ivy was looking at me with so much vulnerability in her eyes that it made my heart ache. She took a step closer to me and then visibly reined herself in.

"Is that all?" Her grey, silk voice, usually so full of confidence, was barely a whisper. Her usually direct gaze didn't quite meet my eyes. "I know how much that means to you, Rachel. The thought that you feel safe with me - the trust that you place in me - I don't understand it. But it's the most unimaginable gift you could ever give me." She took a deep breath and tilted her head just enough to meet my eyes now. "But you kissed me."

I felt sick with nerves. "I did kiss you." Was I a runner or just another Cookie with delusions of grandeur? It was time to show some of the courage and bravado that had made me one of the best at my job. "I wanted to kiss you, Ivy. To taste your lips under mine. I wanted to thank you for making me feel so safe." And loved. I still wasn't brave enough to say that yet.

Another step forward by Ivy. I'd never been so aware of the way she was encroaching on my personal space before.

"Will you let me?" She whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

The refrain, so familiar from each time she had oh-so-carefully asked to share my blood, made my breath hitch in a very familiar way. The butterflies in my stomach increased and the lightheadedness that I'd been feeling earlier returned in full force.

"Yes." I had expected - if I'd had any expectations - that Ivy would rush in for the kiss that I'd been denying her for so long now. Instead she moved slowly, as if she were afraid that any sudden movement might send me running like a rabbit from a predator.

With one final step, she closed the remaining distance between us. Her hand fell to my hip. Even through the thin fabric of my shirt, the contact burned. I shivered involuntarily. A hint of a knowing smile crossed Ivy's lips, as she ducked her head. Her forehead was barely touching mine, and I was incredibly conscious of her lips mere inches away from mine.

I tilted my head towards hers in an attempt to capture her lips, trying to make her move faster. She moved her head just so that my lips brushed her smooth cheek. I couldn't help but smile at the unexpected hint of stubbornness in Ivy. It seemed that neither of us would give in so easily, even once we'd agreed on what we wanted.

Her hand ran lightly up my side, up over my shoulder, and then ghosted with barely-there pressure over the vamp scar on my neck. Even that light touch was enough to almost drive me out of my mind. A sensation like liquid lightning shot straight to my gut. I hardly even noticed her hand follow the line of my neck up until it was tangled in my hair.

I didn't resist at all, as she cupped my head and gently brought me towards her. I leaned eagerly into her, almost groaning as her lips touched mine again. They were thin, but incredibly soft as they pressed against mine. Gentle, almost tentative pressure gave way to a more lingering kiss as Ivy grew more sure of me. The brush of her tongue against my lips jerked my attention completely back to the moment at hand, pulling me back from losing myself in the sensation as I was wont to do when Ivy was involved.

I opened my mouth to her kiss, and slipped my hand underneath the thin cotton of her t-shirt. Her skin felt impossibly good. Ivy hissed and pulled back from me, abruptly breaking our kiss.

"Rachel, wait." She caught my wrist, as my hand started to glide further upwards, stopping me suddenly. "We have to stop."

The black that was almost obscuring the brown in her eyes contradicted her statement completely. As did the way her thumb caressed the pulse point at my wrist in a slow, infinite motion.

"Why?" I asked stupidly. Now that I'd finally begun kissing Ivy, I didn't want to stop.

Ivy sighed, and took a step away from me. "I don't want you to regret this in the morning."

"I won't," I countered immediately, and I wouldn't. I'd made my decision and I'd faced my fears. It had turned out to be nothing like what I'd expected and a hundred times more wonderful. The arousal coursing through my body was enough indication of that.

It was my turn to step towards her. I cupped her cheek in my hand and ran a thumb along the planes of her face, still wondering that I was allowed to do this now. "Ivy," I whispered, leaning in towards her, brushing my lip against hers, "I don't regret this."

The pressure on my wrist tensed and then eased until she was only holding it gently.

"No." Her word was firm, but I could still see the desire in her eyes as she leaned away from me for a third time.

For a moment, I considered kissing her again, convincing her with my actions that I truly meant what I said. Then I remembered the way that no one had ever respected what Ivy wanted. She had said no to Piscary and he had taken her blood anyway, and forced her to take his. In the end, she'd had no choice but to give in to him and she'd hated herself and him for it. I didn't want Ivy to hate me that way. If I was any different from the anonymous vamps that had used her; than Piscary, then I would respect what she wanted.

And what Ivy wanted was to wait. It stung. The knowledge that she couldn't quite trust me made my heart ache, but if this was what she wanted I would give it to her. She had given me so much - first the protection of her name and then later the depths of her friendship. As much as I wanted to keep kissing her at this moment, I could do this for her.

"Okay." I stepped back, taking some of the pressure off Ivy. I twisted my arm in her grip until I could entangle my fingers in hers. Tilting my head up until I could meet her eyes, I smiled shyly. "Walk me to my room?"

Ivy seemed surprised that I'd given in so easily, but she nodded. "Yeah."

Together we walked slowly down the hallway until we'd reached the door to my room. Instead of going inside immediately, I leaned back against it and looked at her.

"I'm going inside now," I said slowly, "But I want you to know, Ivy, that I'm not going to change my mind in the morning. I'm not." I repeated more firmly. "I want this." I rubbed my thumb slowly back and forth over her hand. "I want for there to be an us. So you'd better be here when I wake up."

 

Comments

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

*happy sigh* As always, the finished product just makes me smile like an idiot. You're grasp of the characters and the tension between them is wonderful. I really like that you didnt rush this chapter. I remember saying i wanted you to hurry it up, but reading it again, I think you totally made the right choice. This is better. Its much mroe Ivy and Rachel and it shows the growth of thier relationship and the depth of their (at least Rachel's) feelings that she thinks about what Ivy needs most.

Can't wait for the next bit!

[erinya.livejournal.com]

*\O/*

Makes me go "yay!" I love the way you've handled this--Ivy's vulnerability and caution, Rachel as usual wanting to rush headlong into things but respecting Ivy's desire to take things slow.

"I need to know what this means. You kissed me. You said-" She hesitated, licked her lips and started again. "You said you couldn't live without me. I don't know what that means."

This made my heart kind of break for Ivy. Living with Rachel is certainly no picnic for her and Rachel has done the whole hot/cold thing before. And that is totally what Ivy would say, too.

Thanks

[darkwoofe.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying this story. It's too bad that it isn't likely that the novels will follow your example and put our two favorite ladies together. Thanks for writing this and I'm looking forward to future chapters.

[widget007.livejournal.com]

*does a happy dance*

That was awesome! You so rock right now!

Seriously, that was beautifully written, so touching.

[vjb2006.livejournal.com]

I really like your Hollows fic. You seem to capture both their voices so well that it fits seamlessly into the arc of the 'verse. Now I have to wonder if i really want to read book 7...