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Title: The Accident
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Frank Cooper, Rick Bauer, Phillip Spaulding, my dead body
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 33, 714 (total)
Summary: The devastation and moral decay of one Natalia Rivera.
Spoilers/Timeline Generally through September '09, though nothing terribly specific I think.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: I got this idea from a throwaway line in one of Rysler's fics that would make sense to no one who wasn't inside my brain. And even by my standards it was a pretty crazy idea. But then I thought it over and with a little bit of nudging. That's crazy became why not? After all what is fandom - and fan fiction - for if not asking, if x changed then what would happen?
Beta: What can I say? aimlessla was freaking awesome for beta’ing this for me, even as much as the whole damn thing traumatized her. I appreciate her invaluable advice, grammar assistance, not throwing her hands up at the pitiable state of my commas and poking her finger at as many of my plot holes as she could find. This one was really above and beyond.
With thanks to Kelinswriter also for offering some general thoughts on the whole thing! Much appreciated, dude!
Warning: This fic has sexual content. Unrelated to that, but additionally it is very dark in nature. Very dark. Do not that this lightly. If you hated “Even If It Killed Her” to the point you stopped reading, you’ll like this one even less. No, seriously.
Prologue || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven
Part Eight
"Are you okay?" Phillip asked, his lips next to her ears. His question was for her alone, spoken just loud enough to carry over the music and the shifting sounds of a ballroom full of dancing couples.
Natalia waited until he had swirled her out and then pulled her back into his body before she responded. "I haven't stepped on your toes that many times have I?"
"Not what I meant," Phillip said with a wry smile.
"And you don't have to check on me every five minutes."
Phillip acknowledged her point with a tip of his head. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't having any buyer's remorse. I saw Blake talking to you over by the buffet."
Natalia pressed her lips into a thin line. "And the whole party heard when Doris cornered me in the restroom?"
"Something like that," Phillip agreed.
Natalia stopped dancing, tugging Phillip with her as she took a few quick steps back off the stately dance floor. "I'm right where I want to be," Natalia said firmly, crossing her arms behind his neck and lifting herself up to kiss him, deeply, thoroughly. "I wouldn't have said yes to coming to this with you, if I hadn't been ready to face this."
He didn't need to know that she'd spent fifteen minutes alone in the restroom after Doris had left, trying to pull herself back together, hiding the puffy redness under her eyes and reapplying her makeup.
"You make me happy." Or at least what passed for happy with her now, an easing of the ache inside of her. Around him she could smile, laugh. He gave her that. "It may take them some time, but they'll realize that, and when they do they'll be happy for me - for us." She hoped. Blake would come around, Natalia was fairly certain of that. But Doris was another story. She had been Olivia's friend first - her confidant - and she might never forgive Natalia for this.
But that was okay. Natalia wasn't certain she could forgive herself for it either. She tried to console herself that grabbing happiness with both hands was something that Olivia had taught her, but years of Catholic guilt weren't so easily erased. Even if the only thing she had to feel guilty about was how soon she had taken up with someone else. Olivia is dead. Natalia repeated the words to herself. It was a fact that she could never forget but sometimes it still felt completely unreal.
"I'm glad," Phillip said softly, breaking into her reverie as she swayed back and forth gently with her in his arms. "You make me happy too."
"That's nice of you to say," Natalia said, stroking her fingers down his lapel. "But that can't be true. We both know that I'm the most depressed person in your life."
"You're forgetting who my best friend is."
"Rick?" Natalia laughed. "That's just...horrible." But she was smiling. "I can't believe you'd..."
Phillip laughed at her horror. "But it made you laugh."
She laid her head on his shoulder comfortably. "Can I ask you a question?" Her arms tightened around his waist. "And don't say I just did." She felt a chuckle reverberate through his chest.
"Okay."
"I know why I'm with you, but..." Natalia broke off unsure of how to finish her thought.
"What's in it for me?" Phillip suggested with all the diplomacy of a baseball bat.
"Exactly," Natalia said, feeling strangely relieved.
"I wasn't sure at first," Phillip said, his tone distant, almost thinking aloud. "When I realized that I felt drawn to you, I was...upset. I knew that you trusted me and I thought you would see the way I felt as a betrayal."
"I did. At first."
"Right." He shrugged. "I'm not sure that I understand it now. I just know that I hated seeing you hurt and if I could make you happy I wanted to do whatever it took. And gradually I realized that I was happiest when you were happy. That's it."
Natalia stroked his cheek, feeling the faint stubble beneath her fingers, and leaned up to kiss his cheek, deliberately catching the corner of his mouth. "You're very sweet."
Phillip snorted. "I've been called many things..."
Natalia squeezed his hand and heard the faint stirrings of a familiar song. She couldn't quite place it, but it would come to her in a few bars. The small band on stage was playing different arrangements from the standard fare. It was as edgy as a Spaulding event got. Natalia leaned back, tugging at his hand and adding a charming smile. "Dance with me?"
Phillip laughed, but let her pull him back onto the dance floor. The first line of the song washed over them. I wanna a Sunday kind of love. Natalia froze in his arms.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, God," she gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. "I can't," she blurted, pulling out of his arms, almost stumbling in her haste. "I can't dance with you to this song." Her face was pale, almost ghostly white. "We danced to it-"
"-At our wedding."
If Phillip thought that Natalia had looked pale a moment before, it was nothing compared to the way the color drained away from her now. He hadn't seen her before, his focus completely on Natalia and nothing else as she panicked, but her words caught his attention immediately. Not just what she had said, but that voice - it was unforgettable and unmistakable.
"Olivia." He and Natalia breathed it in unison.
Natalia trembled, throwing her arm out, grasping for anything. Phillip caught her instinctively, bracing her. It wasn't a moment too soon. Her body went limp and Natalia collapsed into a dead faint. He barely got a solid grip on her, slowing her fall before she hit the ground.
Olivia tilted her head. "Should I have called ahead first? Written, maybe? Emailed?" She met Phillip's look with equanimity. "What?"
*** *** ***
Consciousness returned slowly, seeping in. First noises, faint beeping and the sound sound of distant voices, the hum of machinery and the distinctive sound of rubber shoes scuffing on linoleum flooring. Then Natalia opened her eyes.
Olivia sat in a small plastic chair, leaning forward with her hands clasped together. Natalia made an involuntary sound, her memory flooding back, and Olivia glanced up. Her eyes were dark, the shadows underneath them prominent. Natalia couldn't move, every muscle in her body going rigid with shock, disbelief, and the aching certainty that if she moved Olivia would disappear.
"You're not real," she said, her voice trembling and breaking, strained by emotions she couldn't contain.
Slowly Olivia reached over and took her hand, wrapping both hands around Natalia's. "I'm real."
"Oh my God," Natalia whispered, reaching over with a shaking hand to touch Olivia's face. "Oh my God." She smoothed her thumb over Olivia's cheekbone, ran her fingers across Olivia's forehead, then back down her cheek, until she was cupping Olivia's chin. Natalia almost fell off the small bed in her haste, stumbling as she fell into Olivia's lap and kissed her, first on her cheeks, then her forehead, both eyelids, her nose, any part of her that Natalia could reach.
Olivia's hands were at her hips, holding her in place but doing nothing else. Gradually the urgency began to fade away, leaving Natalia stunned but no less awed. "You're here."
Olivia nodded, still wordless, tears streaming down her face. Tenderly Natalia wiped the tears from her cheeks and held her face, unable to believe that she was really staring into green eyes that she had thought she would never have a chance to see again. She lowered her lips to Olivia's, reveling in their softness. It felt like coming home after a long, unimaginably hard day. Natalia kissed her with everything she was, holding nothing back. She felt revived, born again, in the absolute certainty of her love for Olivia. Natalia wanted to hold her forever, never letting her go. The kiss turned desperate and consuming. She was already in Olivia's lap and it still wasn't close enough. She needed more.
Olivia caught Natalia's face in her hands and gently eased Natalia away. Olivia's eyes were still brimming with tears.
"I know."
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Frank Cooper, Rick Bauer, Phillip Spaulding, my dead body
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 33, 714 (total)
Summary: The devastation and moral decay of one Natalia Rivera.
Spoilers/Timeline Generally through September '09, though nothing terribly specific I think.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: I got this idea from a throwaway line in one of Rysler's fics that would make sense to no one who wasn't inside my brain. And even by my standards it was a pretty crazy idea. But then I thought it over and with a little bit of nudging. That's crazy became why not? After all what is fandom - and fan fiction - for if not asking, if x changed then what would happen?
Beta: What can I say? aimlessla was freaking awesome for beta’ing this for me, even as much as the whole damn thing traumatized her. I appreciate her invaluable advice, grammar assistance, not throwing her hands up at the pitiable state of my commas and poking her finger at as many of my plot holes as she could find. This one was really above and beyond.
With thanks to Kelinswriter also for offering some general thoughts on the whole thing! Much appreciated, dude!
Warning: This fic has sexual content. Unrelated to that, but additionally it is very dark in nature. Very dark. Do not that this lightly. If you hated “Even If It Killed Her” to the point you stopped reading, you’ll like this one even less. No, seriously.
Prologue || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven
Part Eight
"Are you okay?" Phillip asked, his lips next to her ears. His question was for her alone, spoken just loud enough to carry over the music and the shifting sounds of a ballroom full of dancing couples.
Natalia waited until he had swirled her out and then pulled her back into his body before she responded. "I haven't stepped on your toes that many times have I?"
"Not what I meant," Phillip said with a wry smile.
"And you don't have to check on me every five minutes."
Phillip acknowledged her point with a tip of his head. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't having any buyer's remorse. I saw Blake talking to you over by the buffet."
Natalia pressed her lips into a thin line. "And the whole party heard when Doris cornered me in the restroom?"
"Something like that," Phillip agreed.
Natalia stopped dancing, tugging Phillip with her as she took a few quick steps back off the stately dance floor. "I'm right where I want to be," Natalia said firmly, crossing her arms behind his neck and lifting herself up to kiss him, deeply, thoroughly. "I wouldn't have said yes to coming to this with you, if I hadn't been ready to face this."
He didn't need to know that she'd spent fifteen minutes alone in the restroom after Doris had left, trying to pull herself back together, hiding the puffy redness under her eyes and reapplying her makeup.
"You make me happy." Or at least what passed for happy with her now, an easing of the ache inside of her. Around him she could smile, laugh. He gave her that. "It may take them some time, but they'll realize that, and when they do they'll be happy for me - for us." She hoped. Blake would come around, Natalia was fairly certain of that. But Doris was another story. She had been Olivia's friend first - her confidant - and she might never forgive Natalia for this.
But that was okay. Natalia wasn't certain she could forgive herself for it either. She tried to console herself that grabbing happiness with both hands was something that Olivia had taught her, but years of Catholic guilt weren't so easily erased. Even if the only thing she had to feel guilty about was how soon she had taken up with someone else. Olivia is dead. Natalia repeated the words to herself. It was a fact that she could never forget but sometimes it still felt completely unreal.
"I'm glad," Phillip said softly, breaking into her reverie as she swayed back and forth gently with her in his arms. "You make me happy too."
"That's nice of you to say," Natalia said, stroking her fingers down his lapel. "But that can't be true. We both know that I'm the most depressed person in your life."
"You're forgetting who my best friend is."
"Rick?" Natalia laughed. "That's just...horrible." But she was smiling. "I can't believe you'd..."
Phillip laughed at her horror. "But it made you laugh."
She laid her head on his shoulder comfortably. "Can I ask you a question?" Her arms tightened around his waist. "And don't say I just did." She felt a chuckle reverberate through his chest.
"Okay."
"I know why I'm with you, but..." Natalia broke off unsure of how to finish her thought.
"What's in it for me?" Phillip suggested with all the diplomacy of a baseball bat.
"Exactly," Natalia said, feeling strangely relieved.
"I wasn't sure at first," Phillip said, his tone distant, almost thinking aloud. "When I realized that I felt drawn to you, I was...upset. I knew that you trusted me and I thought you would see the way I felt as a betrayal."
"I did. At first."
"Right." He shrugged. "I'm not sure that I understand it now. I just know that I hated seeing you hurt and if I could make you happy I wanted to do whatever it took. And gradually I realized that I was happiest when you were happy. That's it."
Natalia stroked his cheek, feeling the faint stubble beneath her fingers, and leaned up to kiss his cheek, deliberately catching the corner of his mouth. "You're very sweet."
Phillip snorted. "I've been called many things..."
Natalia squeezed his hand and heard the faint stirrings of a familiar song. She couldn't quite place it, but it would come to her in a few bars. The small band on stage was playing different arrangements from the standard fare. It was as edgy as a Spaulding event got. Natalia leaned back, tugging at his hand and adding a charming smile. "Dance with me?"
Phillip laughed, but let her pull him back onto the dance floor. The first line of the song washed over them. I wanna a Sunday kind of love. Natalia froze in his arms.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, God," she gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. "I can't," she blurted, pulling out of his arms, almost stumbling in her haste. "I can't dance with you to this song." Her face was pale, almost ghostly white. "We danced to it-"
"-At our wedding."
If Phillip thought that Natalia had looked pale a moment before, it was nothing compared to the way the color drained away from her now. He hadn't seen her before, his focus completely on Natalia and nothing else as she panicked, but her words caught his attention immediately. Not just what she had said, but that voice - it was unforgettable and unmistakable.
"Olivia." He and Natalia breathed it in unison.
Natalia trembled, throwing her arm out, grasping for anything. Phillip caught her instinctively, bracing her. It wasn't a moment too soon. Her body went limp and Natalia collapsed into a dead faint. He barely got a solid grip on her, slowing her fall before she hit the ground.
Olivia tilted her head. "Should I have called ahead first? Written, maybe? Emailed?" She met Phillip's look with equanimity. "What?"
*** *** ***
Consciousness returned slowly, seeping in. First noises, faint beeping and the sound sound of distant voices, the hum of machinery and the distinctive sound of rubber shoes scuffing on linoleum flooring. Then Natalia opened her eyes.
Olivia sat in a small plastic chair, leaning forward with her hands clasped together. Natalia made an involuntary sound, her memory flooding back, and Olivia glanced up. Her eyes were dark, the shadows underneath them prominent. Natalia couldn't move, every muscle in her body going rigid with shock, disbelief, and the aching certainty that if she moved Olivia would disappear.
"You're not real," she said, her voice trembling and breaking, strained by emotions she couldn't contain.
Slowly Olivia reached over and took her hand, wrapping both hands around Natalia's. "I'm real."
"Oh my God," Natalia whispered, reaching over with a shaking hand to touch Olivia's face. "Oh my God." She smoothed her thumb over Olivia's cheekbone, ran her fingers across Olivia's forehead, then back down her cheek, until she was cupping Olivia's chin. Natalia almost fell off the small bed in her haste, stumbling as she fell into Olivia's lap and kissed her, first on her cheeks, then her forehead, both eyelids, her nose, any part of her that Natalia could reach.
Olivia's hands were at her hips, holding her in place but doing nothing else. Gradually the urgency began to fade away, leaving Natalia stunned but no less awed. "You're here."
Olivia nodded, still wordless, tears streaming down her face. Tenderly Natalia wiped the tears from her cheeks and held her face, unable to believe that she was really staring into green eyes that she had thought she would never have a chance to see again. She lowered her lips to Olivia's, reveling in their softness. It felt like coming home after a long, unimaginably hard day. Natalia kissed her with everything she was, holding nothing back. She felt revived, born again, in the absolute certainty of her love for Olivia. Natalia wanted to hold her forever, never letting her go. The kiss turned desperate and consuming. She was already in Olivia's lap and it still wasn't close enough. She needed more.
Olivia caught Natalia's face in her hands and gently eased Natalia away. Olivia's eyes were still brimming with tears.
"I know."
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There's two old dudes, so it's a bit tricky to pinpoint, but yes. Stefano is the more evil of the two. In case you're not familiar with his latest bright idea, he had a lookalike minion switched for his nemesis, who is now imprisoned and is in a state of maybe-amnesia.
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From: (Anonymous)
Yay for soap dead
So I was on the ttc (public transit in Toronto) doing my skimming on my way home from work in the morning and as such it took me a while to catch on that the 'at our wedding' line was Olivia's. And just as I did I had to switch buses. And then I had to spend 25 minutes on the bus reading and re-reading with this stupid cheesy grin on my face. Thanks for that!
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Re: Yay for soap dead
Heee! I'm glad you enjoyed that part - even though they're still dealing with a lot!
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(kinda had a feeling Olivia was going to be alive but... oh my god)
Please, please update soon!
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