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A quick note before I get to the fic: If you haven't been reading it already, Rysler's Nor A Roof Against the Rain, you've been totally missing out. And it's all finished posting so now's the perfect time to catch up.
Title: The Accident
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Frank Cooper, Rick Bauer, Phillip Spaulding, my dead body
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 33, 714 (total)
Summary: The devastation and moral decay of one Natalia Rivera.
Spoilers/Timeline Generally through September '09, though nothing terribly specific I think.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: I got this idea from a throwaway line in one of Rysler's fics that would make sense to no one who wasn't inside my brain. And even by my standards it was a pretty crazy idea. But then I thought it over and with a little bit of nudging. That's crazy became why not? After all what is fandom - and fan fiction - for if not asking, if x changed then what would happen?
Beta: What can I say? aimlessla was freaking awesome for beta’ing this for me, even as much as the whole damn thing traumatized her. I appreciate her invaluable advice, grammar assistance, not throwing her hands up at the pitiable state of my commas and poking her finger at as many of my plot holes as she could find. This one was really above and beyond.
With thanks to Kelinswriter also for offering some general thoughts on the whole thing! Much appreciated, dude!
Warning: This fic has sexual content. Unrelated to that, but additionally it is very dark in nature. Very dark. Do not that this lightly. If you hated “Even If It Killed Her” to the point you stopped reading, you’ll like this one even less. No, seriously.
Prologue || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four
Er, you read the warning, right? Because it's relevant and you should read it.
Part Five
"See? Not so bad," Phillip said, glancing around the room with a critical eye, surveying all that he saw and making note of what was and wasn't to his satisfaction.
"Not so bad?" Natalia murmured. "Everyone is staring at us!" It had been the same when she was with Olivia, if for different reasons. They had made a striking couple. But Natalia had never gotten used to being the center of attention. Olivia had thrived on it; Natalia had merely tolerated it.
"They're staring because you look breathtaking this evening." Phillip said it so casually that it actually took a moment for his words to register with her.
It wasn't that it was the first time that Natalia had heard something like that said to her. Olivia had told her frequently that she was beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, and it hadn't been merely habit. There had always been a note of awe in her voice that said it was completely genuine. In Olivia's eyes, she had felt beautiful. She had never doubted either, that of the two of them, Olivia was more beautiful - in her admittedly biased opinion, the epitome of everything a woman should be.
Natalia just hadn't realized that Phillip saw her as "breathtaking". It sent a small frisson of...something - power, excitement, pleasure - down her spine.
"Thank you. But I don't think Mr. Cafferty would agree with you."
"Mr. Cafferty spends a large portion of his time struggling not to agree with anyone."
His dry words startled a laugh from Natalia. She clapped a hand over her mouth, unable to believe that she'd laughed at that. "That's horrible. I'm sure he's not so..."
Phillip's eyes twinkled merrily. "Would you like to find out?"
She shot an admonishing look. "No, we couldn't. That's just...mean."
"It wouldn't be mean. Think of it as an experiment, testing my hypothesis."
Natalia shook her head. "You're almost as bad as Olivia."
It was Phillip's turn to laugh, a rich melodious sound that warmed Natalia. "Considering the source, I'll take that as a compliment."
Natalia was just about to reply when she noticed the Spauldings' longtime butler, Jeremy, discretely moving toward Phillip through the throng of people. She didn't have to look any further than the small slip of paper to know what he was doing. She touched Phillip's arm and gestured discretely toward him. Phillip followed her gaze, his focus sharpening as he slipped into 'business mode'.
Natalia hadn't noted the distinction, but hadn't realized that he had seemed more relaxed all evening, not as formal and guarded as he usually was in a business situation. Maybe he was just trying to make her feel more at ease. It would be thoughtful like him to do that.
"Excuse me for just a moment," Phillip murmured as Jeremy approached, his expression growing even more serious.
"Sure," Natalia said, letting her hand fall away from his arm with a smile.
Phillip hesitated. "Will you be okay for a moment?"
"Of course." He still didn't look certain. "I've been to plenty of events like this with Olivia. I know how to fend for myself."
"Something tells me she could be scarier than I am, though."
Natalia doubted that, but it would be rude to say so. And he meant it in a fond, complimentary way. "I'll be fine." She smiled too sweetly. "None of them will even know what hit them."
At that, Phillip finally relaxed. "Maybe I should pity them. I certainly didn't know what hit me when you came barging into my office."
"I didn't barge," Natalia protested, but she didn't dispute the rest of it.
"Sir," Jeremy said, his voice pitched low and for Phillip's ears alone as he finally reached them.
"Yes," Phillip said, turning away and giving him his full attention.
Natalia waited, but when it seemed like it would take longer than just a moment, she turned and slowly began to make her way through the crowd. She didn't see anyone she knew as more than a casual acquaintance, so she didn't linger. When a passing waiter offered a glass of champagne, she took it, sipping slowly. She didn't feel like herself tonight, but some other creature. It was an uncomfortable feeling.
"You must be the one."
"Excuse me?" Natalia wondered if she'd miss understood him. The statement was so out of the blue.
"The reason Spaulding threw this party."
"Oh, no, I think you must have me confused with someone else," Natalia said lightly. "I'm just a friend of Phillip's." She hesitated. Well, maybe friend wasn't exactly correct. "I'm his daughter's other mother."
His eyebrows shot up as he realized who she was. She almost liked that his response was surprise, not pity. Surely he had to have heard about Olivia's death. Olivia was an influential enough person and her connection with the Spauldings' was well known. The paper's coverage had been extensive and Natalia had canceled it almost immediately after the accident.
"Samuel Bishop," he said, extending his hand. "And I don't think I was wrong."
Natalia narrowed her eyes. "Oh? How so?"
"You're new blood! The Spaulding Board hasn't seen that in years, not since-" He bit off his next words and Natalia knew what he had been about to say.
"Not since Olivia?"
"Right." He hesitated for a moment. "I feel like I should apologize for being an ass. I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's okay." Natalia said, surprising herself in that it really was. Maybe not okay. Saying Olivia's name still felt like a paper cut on top of a thousand others, an inch-deep wound that had been made one tiny slice at a time and was constantly being added to, but it was a pain that was becoming familiar.
She realized the champagne flute in her hand was empty. "Why don't you make it up to me by getting me another one of these?" It wasn't like her, but what was these days? And the last thing she wanted was for the conversation to continue down the path it was on.
"Certainly," he said, flashing her a charming smile. "Anything the lady wants."
Natalia smiled, wishing he would leave. "Thank you."
She felt the warmth of someone's presence behind her and glanced over her shoulder. Phillip had reappeared, looking serious but inquisitive.
"I see you've found someone to keep you company."
He seemed tense, Natalia noted, not as relaxed as he had been earlier.
"Mr. Bishop introduced himself a moment ago." Not really saying anything one way or another. She had picked up a few tricks from Olivia - not that she would have bothered to be diplomatic. "He was just going to get me another drink."
"I see." Yep, she wasn't imagining it now. There was definitely something frosty in Phillip's tone. Natalia just wasn't sure why.
"Mr. Spaulding, always a pleasure," Samuel said with a smile. "And the lady's correct. I did promise her a fresh drink. Be right back." He spun on his heel and ducked through the crowd, plainly searching for the nearest server.
"Bad news?" Natalia asked, keeping her voice low and soft. Not commiserating, but pitching her words so that no one could overhear.
"No, actually, very good news. I was just informed that a deal has gone through that will significantly raise the value of Spaulding stock. You should be thrilled."
Natalia was stumped. She could play twenty questions and tiptoe around the obvious or she could be blunt. She went with the latter. She found she had less patience these days.
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing." There was something in the clipped, curt way that he said it that felt familiar to Natalia, but she couldn't place it. "Was Mr. Bishop bothering you?"
"No, he was...entertaining." Natalia thought about it a little bit longer. "He wasn't scared of me. Everyone treats me like I'm fragile." She tensed. "Like I'm going to break any second. I hate it."
"He's interested in your money, you know," Phillip said flatly. "Emma's money."
Natalia's head snapped up. "I would never-" She bit off her sharp retort and narrowed her eyes. "Why are you doing this?"
"I'm just trying to open your eyes to exactly who Mr. Bishop is. He might seem handsome, charming, kind, even, but he isn't. He's shrewd, cunning and not to be trusted in the least."
"He was getting me a drink, not asking me to sign over Emma's stock," Natalia countered, her mind working frantically as she tried to figure out what was really going on here. There was no reason for Phillip to be this upset or for them to be arguing like this. "Did something happen that you're not telling me about?"
"No, of course not," he said dismissively.
"Phillip," Natalia said firmly. "Tell me what's going on."
"No, it's not any of your concern. I'll deal with it. And Samuel Bishop," he muttered under his breath.
Realization hit Natalia like a bolt of lightning. She spoke it before she thought about it, or else she would have dismissed it out of hand. "You're jealous."
The murderous intent in his voice when he spoke of Samuel Bishop was more than a little familiar. It hadn't happened often, but when Olivia would get jealous of someone paying attention to Natalia, her voice would hold that same note of possessiveness. It shouldn't have taken her that long to recognize it, but it was Phillip. It had never even occurred to her that he would think of her that way. Natalia wasn't sure how she felt about it. Hurt, betrayed maybe. Definitely a little stunned.
"Tell me I'm wrong," Natalia demanded in a quiet voice that nonetheless required an answer.
He held her gaze for a long moment, so long that Natalia began to think she might be wrong. Her cheeks began to heat, flushing at the thought of her impending embarrassment. And then his gaze flicked away, unable to hold hers. It was as good as a signed statement.
She tilted her head, her view of him shifting with it. "I can't believe I..." She let the thought trail off, beginning to pace back and forth in front of him. "I should leave. I'm leaving."
It spurred Phillip into action. "Natalia, wait, please." He touched her arm and she yanked it away.
"Don't touch me," she ground the words out from between clenched teeth.
"I'm sorry - I won't." He held his hands up in surrender, even taking a step back from her. "Just don't leave yet. Let me explain."
People near them were beginning to stare. Natalia could feel the curious eyes and hear the whispers beginning to circulate. "Not here."
"No," Phillip agreed, following her gaze. "Not here. Come with me." But he gestured for Natalia to precede him and carefully didn't touch her.
They didn't stop until they had reached the second floor of the mansion and gotten away from the public areas where the party was still in full swing. Phillip guided her way with small gestures here and there. Natalia didn't pay much attention to where they were going. It didn't really matter.
The room Phillip finally directed them into was a small sitting room, obviously a private one. The furniture still boasted lavish detail and spoke of class, but it was solid and showed evidence of use that appeared nowhere else in the mansion. It struck Natalia suddenly that this must be Phillip's personal study, his antidote to Alan's sprawling throne room.
Natalia didn't turn as Phillip entered behind her. She noted the lack of the door clicking shut behind them. He was being careful now, not to make her nervous.
"Explain."
Phillip was silent for so long that Natalia didn't think he was going to speak. Finally he sighed. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Natalia repeated skeptically, turning to face him. "You have to know. You're the only one who could know."
He shrugged. "What do you want me to say? I didn't expect to feel that way. I didn't think I was doing anything, but being a friend to you - and a good father to Emma. But I saw you with him and you were laughing. You looked happy, like you were having fun and I couldn't stand it. I just...reacted."
"That's not good enough," Natalia said, frustration still churning inside her.
"I can't offer you anything else but an apology," Phillip said, spreading his hands out wide to his sides. "I was out of line and I admit it."
"I'm allowed to have a good time."
"You are," Phillip agreed.
"I'm allowed to forget that I had a fight with my wife and she went out and got herself killed."
"Natalia..." This time Phillip's voice was completely different.
"I'm allowed to have fun," Natalia repeated, her voice breaking.
"You are. You do. Olivia would want you to enjoy yourself. Live your life to the fullest."
"I have fun with you," Natalia admitted. "You make me forget sometimes. It doesn't hurt so bad."
"I'm glad." He hesitated. "I don't want you to be sad. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. It's the last thing you need and I promise it won't happen again."
"Okay," Natalia agreed, and took a step closer to him. "You promise." She raised her arms, lacing her fingers together behind his neck and stared into his eyes. "Make me forget."
"Natalia..." Gently he took her arms and began to lower them from around his neck.
She tightened her grip, raising her hands to run her fingers through his hair, using enough strength that he would have to hurt her to pull her away from him again.
"I don't want to hurt you," Phillip whispered, his hands running down her arms to rest on her shoulders, traced up her neck and cupped her face. "You hurt so much already."
"You make me feel better," Natalia admitted it to herself as much as to him. "Make me feel better." It was intended to have been a command, but it came out as a plea. She kissed him hard, trying to capture him with a kiss, make it impossible for him to deny her. She wanted to feel and to forget, to lose herself in the sensation of lips and teeth and tongue, bruising kisses that deepened and took away her ability to think.
But he pulled away after the first kiss, holding himself away from her. She didn't struggle, waiting for his response. It had to be his decision.
It came with the smallest caress, his thumb smoothing tenderly across her cheekbone. Then he lowered his lips to her mouth and kissed her, slowly, gently, thoroughly. Natalia was panting and breathless by the time he pulled away from her.
He locked gazes with her, searching her eyes with an intensity that was almost overwhelming, but Natalia held his gaze, just as she had before. This time he didn't look away either.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He didn't ask again, but let go of her. Natalia shivered at the sudden absence of his body heat, confused until she saw him go to the other side and close the door, locking it before he turned back to her. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her to him, wrapping an arm around her and almost crushing her in his embrace as he kissed her again. He was so carefully contained that she had somehow never realized what a physically imposing man he was. His hand slid from the small of her back up to the base of her neck, brushing over bare skin and then back down to cover the top of her zipper. He fiddled with the tab for a moment and then slowly began to slide it down her back.
As the dress fell open, Natalia could feel the warmth of his hand against bare skin. His fingers were soft, un-calloused, yet still somehow rougher than the slender delicate fingers she was used to. He hesitated, feeling the tension in her body. Natalia arched back into his touch and he relaxed continuing down until only his arm around her was keeping the dress somewhat in place.
She broke the kiss, pulling away from him as she gasped for breath, and took a step back on shaky legs. Her dress fell away, landing in a tangle of fabric around her feet. Holding onto his arm, she stepped out of it, pressing herself against him again.
He held her, his hands starting at her waist, going up her back and then down again, lower than before until he was cupping her ass. Natalia began fumbling with his belt, struggling to undo it from her awkward angle and then turning her attention to his fly when that was done. Phillip let go of her for just a moment to shrug out of his jacket, making quick work of the dress shirt and undershirt beneath that, pulling the last over his head and sending it flying.
"We should...the couch..." Phillip murmured, bending to kiss her neck, finding the pulse point at the base of her throat, exploring until he found a place that could make her whimper.
He stumbled over the last step, his ankles still tangled in his slacks, and fell back against the couch. Natalia landed on top of him and let out a helpless laugh at the way they sprawled over the leather upholstery.
"These need to come off," she said, tugging at the legs of his boxers.
Phillip grunted, raising his hips so she could pull them down his legs. "Not as young as I used to be," he murmured by way of apology.
It broke the desperate intensity of the moment; Phillip was grateful for the opportunity to slow things down.
He pulled Natalia closer to him after she discarded his boxers, the evidence of his arousal obvious between them. She ran her hands up his body, starting at the base of his abdomen and going all the way up his chest until her hands were resting on his shoulders. He ran his hands up her sides, his thumbs brushing over the curve of her breasts. Then his hands slowed, lingering until they began to knead, rolling her nipples between his fingers.
Natalia gasped and he almost lost his grip as she fell forward against him. She squirmed against his lap as he kept up his blissful torture, making her gasp and hiss. She took him in her hand and felt his hips jerk. She smiled. So different. Her finger started at the base of him and ran up the length of his shaft. He let go of her breast, his hands tightening on her upper arms.
"Natalia..." The way he groaned her name felt like a victory. She wondered if she could make him do it again. He stopped her before she could try, one hand slipping down between them, stroking, parting her. She shifted, using his shoulders to push herself up on her knees above him, then slowly lowered herself back down onto him. She gasped at the way he filled her; his hands clenched tightly, holding her hips.
Natalia waited a moment to allow them both to adjust. Phillip didn't hurry her, letting her set the pace for this encounter. When she was ready she began a slow rolling motion against him. It changed from moment to moment as they adjusted, struggling to find what she needed, until she had. The speed of her hips increased and he groaned again. If she could have smiled at that moment she would have. Rivera, 2. Spaulding, nil. Instead she just bit her lip and concentrated, prayed. Bracing herself with one arm, she reached down between them with the other, rubbing until she came, gasping and shuddering as she fell forward against him.
Phillip thrust inside of her again, each thrust growing more erratic than the last until he came inside her.
Natalia could hear the rapid beat of his heart beneath her ear. The rhythm was wrong.
Title: The Accident
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Frank Cooper, Rick Bauer, Phillip Spaulding, my dead body
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 33, 714 (total)
Summary: The devastation and moral decay of one Natalia Rivera.
Spoilers/Timeline Generally through September '09, though nothing terribly specific I think.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: I got this idea from a throwaway line in one of Rysler's fics that would make sense to no one who wasn't inside my brain. And even by my standards it was a pretty crazy idea. But then I thought it over and with a little bit of nudging. That's crazy became why not? After all what is fandom - and fan fiction - for if not asking, if x changed then what would happen?
Beta: What can I say? aimlessla was freaking awesome for beta’ing this for me, even as much as the whole damn thing traumatized her. I appreciate her invaluable advice, grammar assistance, not throwing her hands up at the pitiable state of my commas and poking her finger at as many of my plot holes as she could find. This one was really above and beyond.
With thanks to Kelinswriter also for offering some general thoughts on the whole thing! Much appreciated, dude!
Warning: This fic has sexual content. Unrelated to that, but additionally it is very dark in nature. Very dark. Do not that this lightly. If you hated “Even If It Killed Her” to the point you stopped reading, you’ll like this one even less. No, seriously.
Prologue || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four
Er, you read the warning, right? Because it's relevant and you should read it.
Part Five
"See? Not so bad," Phillip said, glancing around the room with a critical eye, surveying all that he saw and making note of what was and wasn't to his satisfaction.
"Not so bad?" Natalia murmured. "Everyone is staring at us!" It had been the same when she was with Olivia, if for different reasons. They had made a striking couple. But Natalia had never gotten used to being the center of attention. Olivia had thrived on it; Natalia had merely tolerated it.
"They're staring because you look breathtaking this evening." Phillip said it so casually that it actually took a moment for his words to register with her.
It wasn't that it was the first time that Natalia had heard something like that said to her. Olivia had told her frequently that she was beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, and it hadn't been merely habit. There had always been a note of awe in her voice that said it was completely genuine. In Olivia's eyes, she had felt beautiful. She had never doubted either, that of the two of them, Olivia was more beautiful - in her admittedly biased opinion, the epitome of everything a woman should be.
Natalia just hadn't realized that Phillip saw her as "breathtaking". It sent a small frisson of...something - power, excitement, pleasure - down her spine.
"Thank you. But I don't think Mr. Cafferty would agree with you."
"Mr. Cafferty spends a large portion of his time struggling not to agree with anyone."
His dry words startled a laugh from Natalia. She clapped a hand over her mouth, unable to believe that she'd laughed at that. "That's horrible. I'm sure he's not so..."
Phillip's eyes twinkled merrily. "Would you like to find out?"
She shot an admonishing look. "No, we couldn't. That's just...mean."
"It wouldn't be mean. Think of it as an experiment, testing my hypothesis."
Natalia shook her head. "You're almost as bad as Olivia."
It was Phillip's turn to laugh, a rich melodious sound that warmed Natalia. "Considering the source, I'll take that as a compliment."
Natalia was just about to reply when she noticed the Spauldings' longtime butler, Jeremy, discretely moving toward Phillip through the throng of people. She didn't have to look any further than the small slip of paper to know what he was doing. She touched Phillip's arm and gestured discretely toward him. Phillip followed her gaze, his focus sharpening as he slipped into 'business mode'.
Natalia hadn't noted the distinction, but hadn't realized that he had seemed more relaxed all evening, not as formal and guarded as he usually was in a business situation. Maybe he was just trying to make her feel more at ease. It would be thoughtful like him to do that.
"Excuse me for just a moment," Phillip murmured as Jeremy approached, his expression growing even more serious.
"Sure," Natalia said, letting her hand fall away from his arm with a smile.
Phillip hesitated. "Will you be okay for a moment?"
"Of course." He still didn't look certain. "I've been to plenty of events like this with Olivia. I know how to fend for myself."
"Something tells me she could be scarier than I am, though."
Natalia doubted that, but it would be rude to say so. And he meant it in a fond, complimentary way. "I'll be fine." She smiled too sweetly. "None of them will even know what hit them."
At that, Phillip finally relaxed. "Maybe I should pity them. I certainly didn't know what hit me when you came barging into my office."
"I didn't barge," Natalia protested, but she didn't dispute the rest of it.
"Sir," Jeremy said, his voice pitched low and for Phillip's ears alone as he finally reached them.
"Yes," Phillip said, turning away and giving him his full attention.
Natalia waited, but when it seemed like it would take longer than just a moment, she turned and slowly began to make her way through the crowd. She didn't see anyone she knew as more than a casual acquaintance, so she didn't linger. When a passing waiter offered a glass of champagne, she took it, sipping slowly. She didn't feel like herself tonight, but some other creature. It was an uncomfortable feeling.
"You must be the one."
"Excuse me?" Natalia wondered if she'd miss understood him. The statement was so out of the blue.
"The reason Spaulding threw this party."
"Oh, no, I think you must have me confused with someone else," Natalia said lightly. "I'm just a friend of Phillip's." She hesitated. Well, maybe friend wasn't exactly correct. "I'm his daughter's other mother."
His eyebrows shot up as he realized who she was. She almost liked that his response was surprise, not pity. Surely he had to have heard about Olivia's death. Olivia was an influential enough person and her connection with the Spauldings' was well known. The paper's coverage had been extensive and Natalia had canceled it almost immediately after the accident.
"Samuel Bishop," he said, extending his hand. "And I don't think I was wrong."
Natalia narrowed her eyes. "Oh? How so?"
"You're new blood! The Spaulding Board hasn't seen that in years, not since-" He bit off his next words and Natalia knew what he had been about to say.
"Not since Olivia?"
"Right." He hesitated for a moment. "I feel like I should apologize for being an ass. I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's okay." Natalia said, surprising herself in that it really was. Maybe not okay. Saying Olivia's name still felt like a paper cut on top of a thousand others, an inch-deep wound that had been made one tiny slice at a time and was constantly being added to, but it was a pain that was becoming familiar.
She realized the champagne flute in her hand was empty. "Why don't you make it up to me by getting me another one of these?" It wasn't like her, but what was these days? And the last thing she wanted was for the conversation to continue down the path it was on.
"Certainly," he said, flashing her a charming smile. "Anything the lady wants."
Natalia smiled, wishing he would leave. "Thank you."
She felt the warmth of someone's presence behind her and glanced over her shoulder. Phillip had reappeared, looking serious but inquisitive.
"I see you've found someone to keep you company."
He seemed tense, Natalia noted, not as relaxed as he had been earlier.
"Mr. Bishop introduced himself a moment ago." Not really saying anything one way or another. She had picked up a few tricks from Olivia - not that she would have bothered to be diplomatic. "He was just going to get me another drink."
"I see." Yep, she wasn't imagining it now. There was definitely something frosty in Phillip's tone. Natalia just wasn't sure why.
"Mr. Spaulding, always a pleasure," Samuel said with a smile. "And the lady's correct. I did promise her a fresh drink. Be right back." He spun on his heel and ducked through the crowd, plainly searching for the nearest server.
"Bad news?" Natalia asked, keeping her voice low and soft. Not commiserating, but pitching her words so that no one could overhear.
"No, actually, very good news. I was just informed that a deal has gone through that will significantly raise the value of Spaulding stock. You should be thrilled."
Natalia was stumped. She could play twenty questions and tiptoe around the obvious or she could be blunt. She went with the latter. She found she had less patience these days.
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing." There was something in the clipped, curt way that he said it that felt familiar to Natalia, but she couldn't place it. "Was Mr. Bishop bothering you?"
"No, he was...entertaining." Natalia thought about it a little bit longer. "He wasn't scared of me. Everyone treats me like I'm fragile." She tensed. "Like I'm going to break any second. I hate it."
"He's interested in your money, you know," Phillip said flatly. "Emma's money."
Natalia's head snapped up. "I would never-" She bit off her sharp retort and narrowed her eyes. "Why are you doing this?"
"I'm just trying to open your eyes to exactly who Mr. Bishop is. He might seem handsome, charming, kind, even, but he isn't. He's shrewd, cunning and not to be trusted in the least."
"He was getting me a drink, not asking me to sign over Emma's stock," Natalia countered, her mind working frantically as she tried to figure out what was really going on here. There was no reason for Phillip to be this upset or for them to be arguing like this. "Did something happen that you're not telling me about?"
"No, of course not," he said dismissively.
"Phillip," Natalia said firmly. "Tell me what's going on."
"No, it's not any of your concern. I'll deal with it. And Samuel Bishop," he muttered under his breath.
Realization hit Natalia like a bolt of lightning. She spoke it before she thought about it, or else she would have dismissed it out of hand. "You're jealous."
The murderous intent in his voice when he spoke of Samuel Bishop was more than a little familiar. It hadn't happened often, but when Olivia would get jealous of someone paying attention to Natalia, her voice would hold that same note of possessiveness. It shouldn't have taken her that long to recognize it, but it was Phillip. It had never even occurred to her that he would think of her that way. Natalia wasn't sure how she felt about it. Hurt, betrayed maybe. Definitely a little stunned.
"Tell me I'm wrong," Natalia demanded in a quiet voice that nonetheless required an answer.
He held her gaze for a long moment, so long that Natalia began to think she might be wrong. Her cheeks began to heat, flushing at the thought of her impending embarrassment. And then his gaze flicked away, unable to hold hers. It was as good as a signed statement.
She tilted her head, her view of him shifting with it. "I can't believe I..." She let the thought trail off, beginning to pace back and forth in front of him. "I should leave. I'm leaving."
It spurred Phillip into action. "Natalia, wait, please." He touched her arm and she yanked it away.
"Don't touch me," she ground the words out from between clenched teeth.
"I'm sorry - I won't." He held his hands up in surrender, even taking a step back from her. "Just don't leave yet. Let me explain."
People near them were beginning to stare. Natalia could feel the curious eyes and hear the whispers beginning to circulate. "Not here."
"No," Phillip agreed, following her gaze. "Not here. Come with me." But he gestured for Natalia to precede him and carefully didn't touch her.
They didn't stop until they had reached the second floor of the mansion and gotten away from the public areas where the party was still in full swing. Phillip guided her way with small gestures here and there. Natalia didn't pay much attention to where they were going. It didn't really matter.
The room Phillip finally directed them into was a small sitting room, obviously a private one. The furniture still boasted lavish detail and spoke of class, but it was solid and showed evidence of use that appeared nowhere else in the mansion. It struck Natalia suddenly that this must be Phillip's personal study, his antidote to Alan's sprawling throne room.
Natalia didn't turn as Phillip entered behind her. She noted the lack of the door clicking shut behind them. He was being careful now, not to make her nervous.
"Explain."
Phillip was silent for so long that Natalia didn't think he was going to speak. Finally he sighed. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Natalia repeated skeptically, turning to face him. "You have to know. You're the only one who could know."
He shrugged. "What do you want me to say? I didn't expect to feel that way. I didn't think I was doing anything, but being a friend to you - and a good father to Emma. But I saw you with him and you were laughing. You looked happy, like you were having fun and I couldn't stand it. I just...reacted."
"That's not good enough," Natalia said, frustration still churning inside her.
"I can't offer you anything else but an apology," Phillip said, spreading his hands out wide to his sides. "I was out of line and I admit it."
"I'm allowed to have a good time."
"You are," Phillip agreed.
"I'm allowed to forget that I had a fight with my wife and she went out and got herself killed."
"Natalia..." This time Phillip's voice was completely different.
"I'm allowed to have fun," Natalia repeated, her voice breaking.
"You are. You do. Olivia would want you to enjoy yourself. Live your life to the fullest."
"I have fun with you," Natalia admitted. "You make me forget sometimes. It doesn't hurt so bad."
"I'm glad." He hesitated. "I don't want you to be sad. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. It's the last thing you need and I promise it won't happen again."
"Okay," Natalia agreed, and took a step closer to him. "You promise." She raised her arms, lacing her fingers together behind his neck and stared into his eyes. "Make me forget."
"Natalia..." Gently he took her arms and began to lower them from around his neck.
She tightened her grip, raising her hands to run her fingers through his hair, using enough strength that he would have to hurt her to pull her away from him again.
"I don't want to hurt you," Phillip whispered, his hands running down her arms to rest on her shoulders, traced up her neck and cupped her face. "You hurt so much already."
"You make me feel better," Natalia admitted it to herself as much as to him. "Make me feel better." It was intended to have been a command, but it came out as a plea. She kissed him hard, trying to capture him with a kiss, make it impossible for him to deny her. She wanted to feel and to forget, to lose herself in the sensation of lips and teeth and tongue, bruising kisses that deepened and took away her ability to think.
But he pulled away after the first kiss, holding himself away from her. She didn't struggle, waiting for his response. It had to be his decision.
It came with the smallest caress, his thumb smoothing tenderly across her cheekbone. Then he lowered his lips to her mouth and kissed her, slowly, gently, thoroughly. Natalia was panting and breathless by the time he pulled away from her.
He locked gazes with her, searching her eyes with an intensity that was almost overwhelming, but Natalia held his gaze, just as she had before. This time he didn't look away either.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He didn't ask again, but let go of her. Natalia shivered at the sudden absence of his body heat, confused until she saw him go to the other side and close the door, locking it before he turned back to her. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her to him, wrapping an arm around her and almost crushing her in his embrace as he kissed her again. He was so carefully contained that she had somehow never realized what a physically imposing man he was. His hand slid from the small of her back up to the base of her neck, brushing over bare skin and then back down to cover the top of her zipper. He fiddled with the tab for a moment and then slowly began to slide it down her back.
As the dress fell open, Natalia could feel the warmth of his hand against bare skin. His fingers were soft, un-calloused, yet still somehow rougher than the slender delicate fingers she was used to. He hesitated, feeling the tension in her body. Natalia arched back into his touch and he relaxed continuing down until only his arm around her was keeping the dress somewhat in place.
She broke the kiss, pulling away from him as she gasped for breath, and took a step back on shaky legs. Her dress fell away, landing in a tangle of fabric around her feet. Holding onto his arm, she stepped out of it, pressing herself against him again.
He held her, his hands starting at her waist, going up her back and then down again, lower than before until he was cupping her ass. Natalia began fumbling with his belt, struggling to undo it from her awkward angle and then turning her attention to his fly when that was done. Phillip let go of her for just a moment to shrug out of his jacket, making quick work of the dress shirt and undershirt beneath that, pulling the last over his head and sending it flying.
"We should...the couch..." Phillip murmured, bending to kiss her neck, finding the pulse point at the base of her throat, exploring until he found a place that could make her whimper.
He stumbled over the last step, his ankles still tangled in his slacks, and fell back against the couch. Natalia landed on top of him and let out a helpless laugh at the way they sprawled over the leather upholstery.
"These need to come off," she said, tugging at the legs of his boxers.
Phillip grunted, raising his hips so she could pull them down his legs. "Not as young as I used to be," he murmured by way of apology.
It broke the desperate intensity of the moment; Phillip was grateful for the opportunity to slow things down.
He pulled Natalia closer to him after she discarded his boxers, the evidence of his arousal obvious between them. She ran her hands up his body, starting at the base of his abdomen and going all the way up his chest until her hands were resting on his shoulders. He ran his hands up her sides, his thumbs brushing over the curve of her breasts. Then his hands slowed, lingering until they began to knead, rolling her nipples between his fingers.
Natalia gasped and he almost lost his grip as she fell forward against him. She squirmed against his lap as he kept up his blissful torture, making her gasp and hiss. She took him in her hand and felt his hips jerk. She smiled. So different. Her finger started at the base of him and ran up the length of his shaft. He let go of her breast, his hands tightening on her upper arms.
"Natalia..." The way he groaned her name felt like a victory. She wondered if she could make him do it again. He stopped her before she could try, one hand slipping down between them, stroking, parting her. She shifted, using his shoulders to push herself up on her knees above him, then slowly lowered herself back down onto him. She gasped at the way he filled her; his hands clenched tightly, holding her hips.
Natalia waited a moment to allow them both to adjust. Phillip didn't hurry her, letting her set the pace for this encounter. When she was ready she began a slow rolling motion against him. It changed from moment to moment as they adjusted, struggling to find what she needed, until she had. The speed of her hips increased and he groaned again. If she could have smiled at that moment she would have. Rivera, 2. Spaulding, nil. Instead she just bit her lip and concentrated, prayed. Bracing herself with one arm, she reached down between them with the other, rubbing until she came, gasping and shuddering as she fell forward against him.
Phillip thrust inside of her again, each thrust growing more erratic than the last until he came inside her.
Natalia could hear the rapid beat of his heart beneath her ear. The rhythm was wrong.
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And have you ever known my stories not to have a point?
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If it's any consolation, I very much consider this an Otalia fic.
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Oh Natalia. *sniffles*
Natalia is starting to use Olivia's pain management practices. It's going to work for her about as well as it ever did for Olivia, isn't it?
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Seriously they just CAN'T be together. And now knowing it's a soap, Natalia could get pregnant - seriously let Oliva come back now. Get Phillip to stop hitting on Natalia!
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