![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: In the Line of Fire
Author(s): Jaina
Fandom: The Hollows aka Rachel Morgan aka that series by Kim Harrison
Characters: Rachel Morgan, Ivy Tamwood,
Genre: Drama, angst, romance
Word Count: 8,460 (total)
Summary: A spell gone awry leads to something neither Rachel or Ivy would have expected.
Disclaimer: All characters, and the universe that they go with belong to Kim Harrison. I'm just playing in the sandbox. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Vague ones for some of Black Magic Sanction.
Notes: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
geonncannon This was only supposed to be a short 500 - 1000 word long fic, but well I apparently can't write short Hollows fic. I didn't think you'd mind. ;)
Beta: Many, many thanks toinfinitlight for taking a look at this for me on such short notice. It was greatly appreciated.
Also this was intended to be a one-shot, but due to length, I can't get it all in one post. So check back shortly for the rest of it.
“No way,” I snapped, before I had a chance to think about just how unwise my words were. Rynn Cormel wasn’t a vampire easily refused. After all, he had once been the President of the United States and he was the current Master Vampire of Cincinnati. Stupid Rachel! But I refused to let him have Ivy, not while she was in this condition.
I pulled Ivy a little bit further back from the threshold, even though there was no way that Rynn could reach us as long as the Church remained consecrated, and tightened my arm around Ivy’s waist. Her head lolled limply on my shoulder and keeping her standing was an effort. Her weight was heavy against my side.
Rynn stilled, losing the air of human that he projected so well. Unlike most other powerful vampires, he was still young enough to have not lost that certain something that gave him his charm. It also made gullible humans forget exactly what he was - a predator at the top of his local food chain.
But I wasn’t prey and I wasn’t human. I was a witch, a runner, and Ivy’s friend, and I was not letting him have her in this condition.
“You dare deny me?” Rynn asked quietly. “This is for Ivy’s good, Ms. Morgan. She should be with her own kind. We can take of her.”
“Not tonight, you can’t,” I retorted. “Tonight she’s just a human and you’re not her kind. If you take her back to your camarilla, she’ll be a victim, at the mercy of the whim of any vamp who happens to be passing by. And you know she’s made enemies.” I shook my head. “I’m not letting her out of my sight tonight.” And you can’t make me. Probably best not to remind Rynn of that. He might not be able to touch me inside the Church, but I had to come out eventually and not even Ivy would be able to protect me if I pissed him off too badly. “I can protect her and I won’t be a danger to her.”
Rynn smiled. It was a pleasant expression but it sent chills down my spine. It was unnerving. I shifted my glance from his eyes to his cheekbone. Crap on Toast! If he started pulling an aura, I was a goner. I wouldn’t stand a chance. He could just have me bring Ivy out to him and take him with her when I had done what he wanted. He didn’t even need to be able to come inside the church.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Rynn said slowly. “But if you insist, we will leave our Ivy in your care.”
I bristled at his possessiveness. Ivy belonged to no one but herself.
Stop while you’re ahead, Rachel.
“Thank you. I’ll call around noon to let you know how she is.”
He nodded, backing down the stairs before he turned on his heels and walked back to the waiting limo.
I shifted Ivy’s weight, managing to get the door shut, but I didn’t stop watching him until his limo had disappeared down the street. I wasn’t taking any chances with pissed-off master vampires tonight. Ivy and I already had enough problems.
Dipping my shoulder, I tried to tuck myself a little bit more solidly underneath her arm.
“Rachel?” Ivy slurred, trying to shift away from me in confusion.
“Come on,” I said, “Let’s see if we can get you into your room.”
“Where are we?”
“Home. The church,” I clarified. I didn’t want her to freak out if she thought I had taken her to her mom’s.
“Wha’s wrong with me?” Ivy asked blearily, rubbing at her eyes and looking like nothing more than the innocent, sleepy child she hadn’t been for a long time.
“You got hit with a very powerful spell,” I said, pursing my lips. “Remember that vamp you were supposed to be bringing in tonight for skipping bail?”
Ivy nodded.
“Well,” I said, struggling to steady us both as we took another step forward. “He had a friend - a black witch - and that son of a warlock tried to kill you.”
“Didn’t work,” Ivy said and I caught a glimpse of her grim, yet still slightly cocky smile out of the corner of my eye.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered under my breath, although I had no idea how Ivy had made it out of there alive, and battered by nothing more life-threatening than a temporary spell.
“I feel all...” She shook her head, even that slight motion sending us lurching a little closer to the wall. Ivy’s eyes widened and she looked panicked. “What did he do to me, Rachel? It’s like I can’t smell or see. Everything is so muffled and I feel so weak.”
Her hand tightened around my wrist and I grimaced. Didn’t feel weak to me, but compared to her usual bone-crushing grip, it was.
“It’s just temporary,” I blurted out quickly before she could freak out any more. “He turned you into a human.”
Ivy blinked and stopped, forcing me to stop with her or let her go. In her weakened state, I wasn’t sure I could get her back up by myself and I sure wasn’t inviting Rynn Freaking Cormel in to help.
“He did what?”
“You’re human. For one day. The spell doesn’t have enough power to last longer than that and when it wears off, you’ll go back to the way you were.”
Ivy’s grip on my wrist didn’t loosen. “You’re sure?”
I nodded, trying not to wince. “I’m sure.”
“Can’t you just dip me in salt water?” Ivy asked, her eyes narrowing, but I was already shaking my head.
“Rynn Cormel asked.”
I had been the one Ivy called when she realized she was in trouble, but he had been the one who had gone in after the renegade vampire when I had told him that Ivy was in danger.
Asking had been the last thing Cormel had done. The renegade vamp was nothing more than a big pile of ash now.
“The witch said that if the spell was broken before its energy ran out, the transformation wouldn’t work right.” Ivy would die, that was what he had said, but I wouldn’t tell her that unless it was absolutely necessary. Ivy had enough issues with magic without knowing that simply removing this spell from her could kill her.
“And you trusted the witch?” Ivy’s voice sounded a little bit higher in pitch, her usual calm gone in the face of magic she couldn’t understand or influence.
“No, but Cormel swore that he was telling the truth.”
I could feel Ivy relax a little bit at that. I took advantage of it to get her the rest of the way down the hall, past my own room and into hers. In my room, we would have been tripping over shoes and dirty clothes left on the floor, but as usual, Ivy’s room was pristine and almost pitch black, the leather curtains on the windows not even letting in any moonlight.
Ivy fell most of the way to the bed, landing heavily enough to make the mattress bounce. I winced.
“Sorry.” My hold on Ivy had been awkward, and my hand had slipped when I tried to ease her down. Ivy always made taking care of me when I was hurt look so easy, but I seemed to be falling down on the job already.
“‘S okay,” Ivy said, sinking back into the pillows. It was an indication of how bad she felt that Ivy didn’t even try to take her boots off before she swung her feet up on the bedspread. That was something I could fix, though, and going to the end of the bed, I unlaced the high boots as gently and quietly as I could, glancing up from time to time to see that Ivy’s eyes had fallen closed.
She had been in and out all the way back to the church. It could just be the shock of the transformation and the weakness of her new body. We would know more about the lingering effects of the spell after she had transformed back. Or if she didn’t. But I didn’t want to think about that yet. Being a vampire was so much a part of who Ivy was; I had no idea what she would do without it. Of course, she could always go out and get infected again, but it wouldn’t be the same as being born with it.
I let out a small sigh. It wasn’t time to start worrying about that yet, though. Ivy still had plenty of time to revert back to her original state on her own. Maybe I could ask Al... I thought idly, as I caught hold of the heel of Ivy’s boot and tugged.
Ivy’s eyes snapped open and she shot up in bed. “What are you-”
My hands flew up in the air in the universal gesture of ‘don’t shoot’. “I was just taking your boots off so you would be more comfortable.”
The corner of Ivy’s mouth quirked up in a small grin. “Are you trying to get me undressed, Rachel?”
I felt my cheeks flush and inwardly I cursed my fair complexion. “You wish,” I shot back reflexively.
Ivy snorted, but wisely said nothing as she eased herself back down to the pillows. Her skin felt cold and clammy to the touch where my fingers brushed against her legs. It was worrying, but it wasn’t until I had finished and come to stand by the side of the bed that I noticed Ivy was shivering, even fully clothed, wearing her leather jacket.
“Are you cold? Let me get you a blanket.” It only took me a minute to get a blanket from the hall closet and drape it over Ivy, but a few moments later she was still shivering.
“I can get another one,” I finally said, intending to duck down the hall and call Glenn, or maybe Ceri. The former would know more about first aid, while the latter would know more about magic. It was a toss up.
“Stay,” Ivy said, her hand shooting out to grab my arm. It wasn’t with its usual inhuman quickness, but she still had speed and strength that was impressive for a human. Awkwardly, Ivy scooted over on the bed and patted the space beside her.
She must have seen my doubtful look, because that same small smile flashed over Ivy’s lips again.
“Don’t worry. I can’t bite.”
It wasn’t funny.
“Please.”
I sank down on to the bed without really thinking about it and wrapped my arms around her. She was still shivering and her whole body was rigid with tension.
“If I’m stuck like this...” Ivy whispered.
“You won’t be,” I insisted firmly.
“It’s so strange being human. I wasn’t born like this, Rachel. I wasn’t meant to be this.”
The strange thing was, even knowing all the pain that being a living vampire had brought into her life, all the violence and suffering, I agreed with Ivy. Ivy as a living vampire, moving with sensual grace that couldn’t be ignored, ghosting along as quietly as cat, full of strength and confidence, was a thing of magnificence.
“I know.”
“But there is one thing....” Ivy hesitated. Her hand came up to cover mine. “There’s something that I could do as human, that I can’t do as a vampire.”
“What are you talking about?” My voice came out high and breathy and I wasn’t sure why. It didn’t sound like me at all.
Ivy’s hand was on my thigh. With her other arm, Ivy awkwardly pushed herself to a sitting position. That in itself was strange enough. Nothing Ivy did was ever awkward or clumsy. My arms were still wrapped around her, but now she was sitting eye to eye with me. My heart was racing; I licked my lips.
Being this close to Ivy usually meant a heady mixture of fear, desire and heart-pounding adrenaline. Not to mention the sensations that one look, one brief caress could begin to pull from the scar that was no longer a scar, hidden by the curse that had made me small again to comfort Jenks after he had lost Matalina. But why was I still feeling that way? Why was Ivy’s proximity making my heart race? Why did I want...something? There was no way Ivy could be pulling an aura right now.
“I’m talking about this,” Ivy said firmly. “I know you can feel it, Rachel.”
“Feel what?” Vampires existed because of a virus. Maybe some of the virus hadn’t been changed when Ivy had been. Maybe that was what was creating this pull between us. Maybe Ivy was already starting to turn back into a living vampire.
“This,” Ivy whispered and kissed me.
I fell backwards out of the bed, hitting the floor in a heap of tangled limbs.
“Rachel, wait. Please.”
But I wasn’t listening anymore, I was leaving. We’d had this discussion, me and Ivy, so many times. She wanted a blood balance; something more than what we were, and I couldn’t give it to her. I couldn’t.
“I’m not asking for blood, Rachel.” Ivy laughed. “For the first time since I can remember, I don’t want it. I’m not craving the taste of it. You have no idea what that’s like.”
“Then what do you want?” She was confusing me. What Ivy had always wanted was a blood balance, that bond between us. She had never hidden the fact that she was hunting me slowly and had been for a long time, but blood wouldn’t do her any good tonight. And she had just admitted that she didn’t want it.
“The same thing I’ve always wanted - you.”
I hesitated, at the edge of the room. One more step and I would be gone.
“You want my blood.”
Ivy shook her head. “I mean, yes, I do, but not tonight. Rachel, don’t you understand? I’ve always wanted to show you what it would be like without the blood, but I couldn’t promise you that - and only that - until now. I didn’t trust myself to give you that. I can’t be Kisten; I can only be me. But tonight...” Her voice gentled from tense and desperate, to soft and pleading. “Let me show you how it can be.”
“But I don’t want to be with you that way.” Except I didn’t exactly sound convincing when I said, more like a question.
“Don’t you?” Ivy asked rhetorically. “You’ve known all along that I’ve wanted more from you than blood, and you still keep coming back.”
“You know I like things that are bad for me,” I muttered weakly. “I just wanted to make the blood balance work.”
“But it didn’t. It never has,” Ivy admitted. “So why are you still here, Rachel?”
“Because...” I love you. But if I said that she would think I meant in a different way, and maybe I did.
Ignoring her question, I took a step closer to Ivy. Ivy held no sway over me tonight. I knew the feel of vampire magic, the seductive pull of it that blotted out everything else: this wasn’t that. The only thing I was feeling was Ivy and Ivy’s voice, pulling me closer to her, despite the many things telling me I shouldn’t go to her.
Ivy held out her hand and I took another step. There were so many reasons I should be saying no and walking out of the room right now, the first and foremost being that I didn’t swing this way. But there was a part of me that wanted to find out, to know what it would be like without the blood, to know if Ivy was right and I wanted more than just a blood balance. If I knew what I wanted from her, the maybe the next time she offered a blood balance or something more, it would make it easier to turn her down, to uncomplicate my life and stop playing with fire.
I stopped short, my hand close, but not quite touching hers. Ivy’s eyes were intent, never leaving me.
“Just a kiss,” I stipulated. “I’m not saying yes to anything else, I just want...”
Ivy nodded slowly. “Just a kiss,” she agreed, but I could see the hesitance in her eyes, mixed with desire, regret and just a hint of hope.
Our hands met, our fingers lacing together. Ivy’s thumb stroked across the back of my hand. I shivered. Her other hand tentatively touched my hip, her fingers barely brushing against my t-shirt.
I closed the final distance between us and looked up into Ivy’s eyes, only to find myself momentarily transfixed by them. Ivy was so beautiful. I couldn’t resist touching. I was like a little kid who had to explore the shape and texture of something with their fingers instead of just taking it in with their eyes. My fingers brushed Ivy’s cheek, stroking smooth skin, following the line of her cheekbones, crawling up past her temples, smoothing over her brow and eventually sinking back into her hair. Ivy’s eyes drifted closed and her lips fell slightly open.
Once my attention had shifted from her eyes to her lips, I couldn’t look away again. Rising up on my toes, my hand against her shoulder for balance, I tilted my lips to hers, brushing them gently over her parted lips. There was a gentle brush of air as Ivy sighed into me. It tickled slightly, but did nothing to take away from the intensity of the moment.
It felt like I had stopped breathing, suspended in this moment with Ivy. It wasn’t really a kiss, not like the first time Ivy had really kissed me. She had been playing on my scar at the time and maybe that was all it had been, vampire pheromones twisting my feelings and desires into something they weren’t at all.
I kissed her again, more confident and more demanding this time. My hand cupped the back of Ivy’s neck and pulled her down toward me, sucking on her bottom lip, until she opened her mouth to me, her tongue brushing against mine. And then finally Ivy was kissing me back, her lips gliding over mine, sucking and tasting and asking for more, but not pushing.
Ivy was a good kisser, but it was more than that. Her lips on mine made me feel something and I wanted more. Instead of confirming that I didn’t want what she was offering, it raised more questions than it answered. It made my pulse race and I felt dizzy, my head swimming with the heady sensations churning through my body, but most of all I wanted.
I had one moment to think about the consequences, but in the heat of the moment they seemed foggy and distant. In the afternoon, Ivy would be a living vampire again and all the usual rules would apply. I would have to keep my distance from her because closeness meant giving myself over to her completely, and doing that meant losing a part of myself, meant putting myself in danger of having my throat ripped out again - and loving every second of it.
But tonight those rules didn’t apply. Tonight, I could take what Ivy was offering, be as close to her as I wanted - as we both wanted - and there would be no consequences. No chance that Ivy would lose control and take too much blood or that I would have to hurt her to defend myself. It was almost perfect.
Almost.
And concluded in Part Two.
Author(s): Jaina
Fandom: The Hollows aka Rachel Morgan aka that series by Kim Harrison
Characters: Rachel Morgan, Ivy Tamwood,
Genre: Drama, angst, romance
Word Count: 8,460 (total)
Summary: A spell gone awry leads to something neither Rachel or Ivy would have expected.
Disclaimer: All characters, and the universe that they go with belong to Kim Harrison. I'm just playing in the sandbox. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Vague ones for some of Black Magic Sanction.
Notes: Written for
geonncannon This was only supposed to be a short 500 - 1000 word long fic, but well I apparently can't write short Hollows fic. I didn't think you'd mind. ;) Beta: Many, many thanks to
infinitlight for taking a look at this for me on such short notice. It was greatly appreciated. Also this was intended to be a one-shot, but due to length, I can't get it all in one post. So check back shortly for the rest of it.
“No way,” I snapped, before I had a chance to think about just how unwise my words were. Rynn Cormel wasn’t a vampire easily refused. After all, he had once been the President of the United States and he was the current Master Vampire of Cincinnati. Stupid Rachel! But I refused to let him have Ivy, not while she was in this condition.
I pulled Ivy a little bit further back from the threshold, even though there was no way that Rynn could reach us as long as the Church remained consecrated, and tightened my arm around Ivy’s waist. Her head lolled limply on my shoulder and keeping her standing was an effort. Her weight was heavy against my side.
Rynn stilled, losing the air of human that he projected so well. Unlike most other powerful vampires, he was still young enough to have not lost that certain something that gave him his charm. It also made gullible humans forget exactly what he was - a predator at the top of his local food chain.
But I wasn’t prey and I wasn’t human. I was a witch, a runner, and Ivy’s friend, and I was not letting him have her in this condition.
“You dare deny me?” Rynn asked quietly. “This is for Ivy’s good, Ms. Morgan. She should be with her own kind. We can take of her.”
“Not tonight, you can’t,” I retorted. “Tonight she’s just a human and you’re not her kind. If you take her back to your camarilla, she’ll be a victim, at the mercy of the whim of any vamp who happens to be passing by. And you know she’s made enemies.” I shook my head. “I’m not letting her out of my sight tonight.” And you can’t make me. Probably best not to remind Rynn of that. He might not be able to touch me inside the Church, but I had to come out eventually and not even Ivy would be able to protect me if I pissed him off too badly. “I can protect her and I won’t be a danger to her.”
Rynn smiled. It was a pleasant expression but it sent chills down my spine. It was unnerving. I shifted my glance from his eyes to his cheekbone. Crap on Toast! If he started pulling an aura, I was a goner. I wouldn’t stand a chance. He could just have me bring Ivy out to him and take him with her when I had done what he wanted. He didn’t even need to be able to come inside the church.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Rynn said slowly. “But if you insist, we will leave our Ivy in your care.”
I bristled at his possessiveness. Ivy belonged to no one but herself.
Stop while you’re ahead, Rachel.
“Thank you. I’ll call around noon to let you know how she is.”
He nodded, backing down the stairs before he turned on his heels and walked back to the waiting limo.
I shifted Ivy’s weight, managing to get the door shut, but I didn’t stop watching him until his limo had disappeared down the street. I wasn’t taking any chances with pissed-off master vampires tonight. Ivy and I already had enough problems.
Dipping my shoulder, I tried to tuck myself a little bit more solidly underneath her arm.
“Rachel?” Ivy slurred, trying to shift away from me in confusion.
“Come on,” I said, “Let’s see if we can get you into your room.”
“Where are we?”
“Home. The church,” I clarified. I didn’t want her to freak out if she thought I had taken her to her mom’s.
“Wha’s wrong with me?” Ivy asked blearily, rubbing at her eyes and looking like nothing more than the innocent, sleepy child she hadn’t been for a long time.
“You got hit with a very powerful spell,” I said, pursing my lips. “Remember that vamp you were supposed to be bringing in tonight for skipping bail?”
Ivy nodded.
“Well,” I said, struggling to steady us both as we took another step forward. “He had a friend - a black witch - and that son of a warlock tried to kill you.”
“Didn’t work,” Ivy said and I caught a glimpse of her grim, yet still slightly cocky smile out of the corner of my eye.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered under my breath, although I had no idea how Ivy had made it out of there alive, and battered by nothing more life-threatening than a temporary spell.
“I feel all...” She shook her head, even that slight motion sending us lurching a little closer to the wall. Ivy’s eyes widened and she looked panicked. “What did he do to me, Rachel? It’s like I can’t smell or see. Everything is so muffled and I feel so weak.”
Her hand tightened around my wrist and I grimaced. Didn’t feel weak to me, but compared to her usual bone-crushing grip, it was.
“It’s just temporary,” I blurted out quickly before she could freak out any more. “He turned you into a human.”
Ivy blinked and stopped, forcing me to stop with her or let her go. In her weakened state, I wasn’t sure I could get her back up by myself and I sure wasn’t inviting Rynn Freaking Cormel in to help.
“He did what?”
“You’re human. For one day. The spell doesn’t have enough power to last longer than that and when it wears off, you’ll go back to the way you were.”
Ivy’s grip on my wrist didn’t loosen. “You’re sure?”
I nodded, trying not to wince. “I’m sure.”
“Can’t you just dip me in salt water?” Ivy asked, her eyes narrowing, but I was already shaking my head.
“Rynn Cormel asked.”
I had been the one Ivy called when she realized she was in trouble, but he had been the one who had gone in after the renegade vampire when I had told him that Ivy was in danger.
Asking had been the last thing Cormel had done. The renegade vamp was nothing more than a big pile of ash now.
“The witch said that if the spell was broken before its energy ran out, the transformation wouldn’t work right.” Ivy would die, that was what he had said, but I wouldn’t tell her that unless it was absolutely necessary. Ivy had enough issues with magic without knowing that simply removing this spell from her could kill her.
“And you trusted the witch?” Ivy’s voice sounded a little bit higher in pitch, her usual calm gone in the face of magic she couldn’t understand or influence.
“No, but Cormel swore that he was telling the truth.”
I could feel Ivy relax a little bit at that. I took advantage of it to get her the rest of the way down the hall, past my own room and into hers. In my room, we would have been tripping over shoes and dirty clothes left on the floor, but as usual, Ivy’s room was pristine and almost pitch black, the leather curtains on the windows not even letting in any moonlight.
Ivy fell most of the way to the bed, landing heavily enough to make the mattress bounce. I winced.
“Sorry.” My hold on Ivy had been awkward, and my hand had slipped when I tried to ease her down. Ivy always made taking care of me when I was hurt look so easy, but I seemed to be falling down on the job already.
“‘S okay,” Ivy said, sinking back into the pillows. It was an indication of how bad she felt that Ivy didn’t even try to take her boots off before she swung her feet up on the bedspread. That was something I could fix, though, and going to the end of the bed, I unlaced the high boots as gently and quietly as I could, glancing up from time to time to see that Ivy’s eyes had fallen closed.
She had been in and out all the way back to the church. It could just be the shock of the transformation and the weakness of her new body. We would know more about the lingering effects of the spell after she had transformed back. Or if she didn’t. But I didn’t want to think about that yet. Being a vampire was so much a part of who Ivy was; I had no idea what she would do without it. Of course, she could always go out and get infected again, but it wouldn’t be the same as being born with it.
I let out a small sigh. It wasn’t time to start worrying about that yet, though. Ivy still had plenty of time to revert back to her original state on her own. Maybe I could ask Al... I thought idly, as I caught hold of the heel of Ivy’s boot and tugged.
Ivy’s eyes snapped open and she shot up in bed. “What are you-”
My hands flew up in the air in the universal gesture of ‘don’t shoot’. “I was just taking your boots off so you would be more comfortable.”
The corner of Ivy’s mouth quirked up in a small grin. “Are you trying to get me undressed, Rachel?”
I felt my cheeks flush and inwardly I cursed my fair complexion. “You wish,” I shot back reflexively.
Ivy snorted, but wisely said nothing as she eased herself back down to the pillows. Her skin felt cold and clammy to the touch where my fingers brushed against her legs. It was worrying, but it wasn’t until I had finished and come to stand by the side of the bed that I noticed Ivy was shivering, even fully clothed, wearing her leather jacket.
“Are you cold? Let me get you a blanket.” It only took me a minute to get a blanket from the hall closet and drape it over Ivy, but a few moments later she was still shivering.
“I can get another one,” I finally said, intending to duck down the hall and call Glenn, or maybe Ceri. The former would know more about first aid, while the latter would know more about magic. It was a toss up.
“Stay,” Ivy said, her hand shooting out to grab my arm. It wasn’t with its usual inhuman quickness, but she still had speed and strength that was impressive for a human. Awkwardly, Ivy scooted over on the bed and patted the space beside her.
She must have seen my doubtful look, because that same small smile flashed over Ivy’s lips again.
“Don’t worry. I can’t bite.”
It wasn’t funny.
“Please.”
I sank down on to the bed without really thinking about it and wrapped my arms around her. She was still shivering and her whole body was rigid with tension.
“If I’m stuck like this...” Ivy whispered.
“You won’t be,” I insisted firmly.
“It’s so strange being human. I wasn’t born like this, Rachel. I wasn’t meant to be this.”
The strange thing was, even knowing all the pain that being a living vampire had brought into her life, all the violence and suffering, I agreed with Ivy. Ivy as a living vampire, moving with sensual grace that couldn’t be ignored, ghosting along as quietly as cat, full of strength and confidence, was a thing of magnificence.
“I know.”
“But there is one thing....” Ivy hesitated. Her hand came up to cover mine. “There’s something that I could do as human, that I can’t do as a vampire.”
“What are you talking about?” My voice came out high and breathy and I wasn’t sure why. It didn’t sound like me at all.
Ivy’s hand was on my thigh. With her other arm, Ivy awkwardly pushed herself to a sitting position. That in itself was strange enough. Nothing Ivy did was ever awkward or clumsy. My arms were still wrapped around her, but now she was sitting eye to eye with me. My heart was racing; I licked my lips.
Being this close to Ivy usually meant a heady mixture of fear, desire and heart-pounding adrenaline. Not to mention the sensations that one look, one brief caress could begin to pull from the scar that was no longer a scar, hidden by the curse that had made me small again to comfort Jenks after he had lost Matalina. But why was I still feeling that way? Why was Ivy’s proximity making my heart race? Why did I want...something? There was no way Ivy could be pulling an aura right now.
“I’m talking about this,” Ivy said firmly. “I know you can feel it, Rachel.”
“Feel what?” Vampires existed because of a virus. Maybe some of the virus hadn’t been changed when Ivy had been. Maybe that was what was creating this pull between us. Maybe Ivy was already starting to turn back into a living vampire.
“This,” Ivy whispered and kissed me.
I fell backwards out of the bed, hitting the floor in a heap of tangled limbs.
“Rachel, wait. Please.”
But I wasn’t listening anymore, I was leaving. We’d had this discussion, me and Ivy, so many times. She wanted a blood balance; something more than what we were, and I couldn’t give it to her. I couldn’t.
“I’m not asking for blood, Rachel.” Ivy laughed. “For the first time since I can remember, I don’t want it. I’m not craving the taste of it. You have no idea what that’s like.”
“Then what do you want?” She was confusing me. What Ivy had always wanted was a blood balance, that bond between us. She had never hidden the fact that she was hunting me slowly and had been for a long time, but blood wouldn’t do her any good tonight. And she had just admitted that she didn’t want it.
“The same thing I’ve always wanted - you.”
I hesitated, at the edge of the room. One more step and I would be gone.
“You want my blood.”
Ivy shook her head. “I mean, yes, I do, but not tonight. Rachel, don’t you understand? I’ve always wanted to show you what it would be like without the blood, but I couldn’t promise you that - and only that - until now. I didn’t trust myself to give you that. I can’t be Kisten; I can only be me. But tonight...” Her voice gentled from tense and desperate, to soft and pleading. “Let me show you how it can be.”
“But I don’t want to be with you that way.” Except I didn’t exactly sound convincing when I said, more like a question.
“Don’t you?” Ivy asked rhetorically. “You’ve known all along that I’ve wanted more from you than blood, and you still keep coming back.”
“You know I like things that are bad for me,” I muttered weakly. “I just wanted to make the blood balance work.”
“But it didn’t. It never has,” Ivy admitted. “So why are you still here, Rachel?”
“Because...” I love you. But if I said that she would think I meant in a different way, and maybe I did.
Ignoring her question, I took a step closer to Ivy. Ivy held no sway over me tonight. I knew the feel of vampire magic, the seductive pull of it that blotted out everything else: this wasn’t that. The only thing I was feeling was Ivy and Ivy’s voice, pulling me closer to her, despite the many things telling me I shouldn’t go to her.
Ivy held out her hand and I took another step. There were so many reasons I should be saying no and walking out of the room right now, the first and foremost being that I didn’t swing this way. But there was a part of me that wanted to find out, to know what it would be like without the blood, to know if Ivy was right and I wanted more than just a blood balance. If I knew what I wanted from her, the maybe the next time she offered a blood balance or something more, it would make it easier to turn her down, to uncomplicate my life and stop playing with fire.
I stopped short, my hand close, but not quite touching hers. Ivy’s eyes were intent, never leaving me.
“Just a kiss,” I stipulated. “I’m not saying yes to anything else, I just want...”
Ivy nodded slowly. “Just a kiss,” she agreed, but I could see the hesitance in her eyes, mixed with desire, regret and just a hint of hope.
Our hands met, our fingers lacing together. Ivy’s thumb stroked across the back of my hand. I shivered. Her other hand tentatively touched my hip, her fingers barely brushing against my t-shirt.
I closed the final distance between us and looked up into Ivy’s eyes, only to find myself momentarily transfixed by them. Ivy was so beautiful. I couldn’t resist touching. I was like a little kid who had to explore the shape and texture of something with their fingers instead of just taking it in with their eyes. My fingers brushed Ivy’s cheek, stroking smooth skin, following the line of her cheekbones, crawling up past her temples, smoothing over her brow and eventually sinking back into her hair. Ivy’s eyes drifted closed and her lips fell slightly open.
Once my attention had shifted from her eyes to her lips, I couldn’t look away again. Rising up on my toes, my hand against her shoulder for balance, I tilted my lips to hers, brushing them gently over her parted lips. There was a gentle brush of air as Ivy sighed into me. It tickled slightly, but did nothing to take away from the intensity of the moment.
It felt like I had stopped breathing, suspended in this moment with Ivy. It wasn’t really a kiss, not like the first time Ivy had really kissed me. She had been playing on my scar at the time and maybe that was all it had been, vampire pheromones twisting my feelings and desires into something they weren’t at all.
I kissed her again, more confident and more demanding this time. My hand cupped the back of Ivy’s neck and pulled her down toward me, sucking on her bottom lip, until she opened her mouth to me, her tongue brushing against mine. And then finally Ivy was kissing me back, her lips gliding over mine, sucking and tasting and asking for more, but not pushing.
Ivy was a good kisser, but it was more than that. Her lips on mine made me feel something and I wanted more. Instead of confirming that I didn’t want what she was offering, it raised more questions than it answered. It made my pulse race and I felt dizzy, my head swimming with the heady sensations churning through my body, but most of all I wanted.
I had one moment to think about the consequences, but in the heat of the moment they seemed foggy and distant. In the afternoon, Ivy would be a living vampire again and all the usual rules would apply. I would have to keep my distance from her because closeness meant giving myself over to her completely, and doing that meant losing a part of myself, meant putting myself in danger of having my throat ripped out again - and loving every second of it.
But tonight those rules didn’t apply. Tonight, I could take what Ivy was offering, be as close to her as I wanted - as we both wanted - and there would be no consequences. No chance that Ivy would lose control and take too much blood or that I would have to hurt her to defend myself. It was almost perfect.
Almost.
And concluded in Part Two.
Tags: