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Title: Even If It Killed Her
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1,954
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I'm so far behind on replies, you guys. I'm sorry. I'll try to get to it this weekend. So tired right now.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine || Part Ten || Part Eleven || Part Twelve || Part Thirteen || Part Fourteen || Part Fifteen || Part Sixteen || Part Seventeen || Part Eighteen || Part Nineteen || Part Twenty || Part Twenty-One
Part Twenty-Two
"Hi." Olivia said softly. She had waited, letting Natalia have a final moment with Rafe before he raced out the door, but now she had Natalia all to herself. It was a wonderful thought.
Natalia smiled, the bright, impossibly happy smile that flashed dimples and made everyone around her want to smile back in response. Olivia loved it. Like an addict jonesing for a fix, she couldn't get enough of it.
"Hey, yourself." Natalia said lightly as she descended the final step and came around the banister.
Olivia was suddenly very aware of her hands and equally unsure what to do with them.
"I'm sorry," Natalia said abruptly, gesturing toward the stairs and the second floor. "I was running a little bit late." She blushed charmingly. "I wasn't sure what to wear."
"You look gorgeous in anything." Olivia spoke before she could censor herself, and then winced internally. She didn't know yet, just how much Natalia was comfortable with. So many things between them were new now. They had shared so much before, a knowing solidified by glances of mutual longing and lingering looks that conveyed more than either one could ever say, but there was something different about acknowledging it and saying it out loud. She had told Natalia she was beautiful before, but that had been under the guise of friendship. Now it meant so much more.
"Right," Natalia said, her voice full of disbelief.
But Olivia was already shaking her head. "No, I mean it. You might not always wear the fanciest clothes or follow the latest trends, but you always look breathtaking."
"Olivia..." Natalia's voice was breathy and full of some emotion that Olivia couldn't quite place. It was both pleading and doubtful.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Olivia apologized quickly, wanting nothing to put a damper on their evening. She wanted tonight to be perfect, not ruined by her inability to keep herself in check where Natalia was concerned.
"You didn't," Natalia jumped in quickly. "At least, not the way you're thinking. No one has ever said something like that to me before."
"Right," Olivia said knowingly. "You've waitressed and worked in bars, Natalia. I can't have been the only one telling you how gorgeous you are."
Natalia rolled her eyes. "There were men who asked me out, or...said things, but none of them ever made me feel like they meant it. It was just something they said to get what they wanted. It wasn't about me; they could have been saying it to anyone."
"I didn't mean to upset you," Olivia said softly.
"I know," Natalia reassured her. "I just..." She shook her head and smiled again, less brightly but just as sincerely. "Thank you. Can we just start over again?"
Olivia couldn't help but smirk. "Want me to run back outside and knock?"
Natalia tried not to let her amusement show, but she couldn't help it. "Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary."
"Good, because I don't want to miss a second with you."
"You keep saying things like that..." Natalia said in a breathy whisper.
Olivia laughed. She couldn't help it. She had been storing things like that up inside for so many months now that it felt wonderful to actually be able to say them aloud. "I mean every word." She let that sink in for a moment and then changed the subject in an attempt to lighten the moment. "Ready to go?"
"I am."
"Good. Then let's get this show on the road."
Natalia wrinkled her nose. "Has anyone ever told you, you talk funny?"
"I'm whimsical," Olivia declared. "It's part of my charm."
*** *** ***
Olivia was having more fun than she'd had in years. It wasn't as if they were doing something special. As dates went, this one was fairly normal, even boring one might say, if one were Olivia Spencer circa 2007. They were having dinner at a nice restaurant, wearing clothes only slightly nicer and more revealing than what they saw each other in every day. After dinner, they might go for an early evening walk in the park and then Olivia would return Natalia home. What made it so wonderful was that she was on the date with Natalia. What had once been impossible was now reality and Olivia couldn't stop smiling. She was as giddy as a school girl on her first date.
And that was the problem. She was sitting here, wondering what Natalia would do if she reached across the table and held her hand. It was laying invitingly out on the table, her fingers curled open just so, and it was all Olivia could do not to reach out and take her hand. Was hand-holding allowed, and if so would Natalia let her hold her hand in a public place like this one? Why the hell was she even thinking about hand-holding? She was Olivia Spencer. She didn't hold hands. She did things like having mind-blowing sex in cramped bathroom stalls where there was every chance of being caught, not worry about a little harmless public display of affection that no one was even likely to notice.
"Olivia?" Natalia sounded worried and that immediately caught Olivia's attention, pulling her out of the fog of irritation that surrounded her.
"Sorry? What was that?" Olivia couldn't believe she'd let her attention drift so far that she'd missed what Natalia was saying. Damn tempting hand.
"I called your name several times. You didn't hear me. I was starting to get worried. Is everything okay?" Natalia looked so serious that Olivia immediately regretted worrying her.
"Everything's fine. Wonderful, actually. I just got lost in thought."
"Penny for your thoughts?" Natalia asked quietly.
Olivia hesitated. There was no way she could tell Natalia what she was really thinking about. It was too ridiculous to admit to.
"You don't have to," Natalia added as the silence grew. "I was just-"
"No," Olivia said quickly. To hell with dignity. "It wasn't anything bad." She looked down. "I was just thinking how much I'd like to hold your hand."
"Really?" And once again there was that faint hint of disbelief in Natalia's voice.
This time Olivia didn't try to convince her otherwise, she just nodded. "Really," she agreed softly, putting every ounce of certainty that she possessed into it.
"You could, you know. Hold my hand," Natalia added as Olivia raised a questioning eyebrow. "I would like that very much."
Olivia reached out taking Natalia's fingers in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of them tenderly. A faint smirk tugged at her lips, relief turning into a hint of mischief. "You could have taken my hand," she pointed out.
"I wanted to," Natalia said with a smile.
"But you didn't," Olivia pointed out.
"I wasn't sure..." Natalia trailed off. "It seemed silly, wanting to hold your hand," she admitted in a small voice.
"Not silly at all," Olivia corrected her, squeezing her hand again. "You can hold my hand any time you want."
"Yeah?" Natalia asked quietly, something else in her voice, in the look in her eyes than just the question she was asking.
"Yeah," Olivia responded, unable to keep her voice from dropping into a smoky purr. If Natalia kept looking at her like that... She banished the thought with effort. Someday. She could wait as long as she needed to now that she knew there would be a someday.
*** *** ***
"It's getting late," Olivia said softly, and it was.
They had never made it to that walk in the park, lingering instead over dessert. Natalia had hesitated when the waiter had asked if they wanted some, glancing over at Olivia to see if she was interested. In the end they had compromised, ordering the most decadent chocolate cake on the menu, but sharing it instead of getting two pieces.
There had been some mistake because when the waiter had returned with their coffee and dessert, he had brought only one fork, not two. Olivia had opened her mouth to say something when she felt Natalia touch her wrist lightly. She had looked up to a faint shake of Natalia's head and paused long enough for the waiter to leave again. For a second she wondered what Natalia was thinking and then Natalia had picked up the fork and cut off a small corner, gooey, still-warm frosting clinging to the fork as she lifted it up toward Olivia.
It had taken a second for Natalia's actions to sink in, and then Olivia had leaned forward and accepted the proffered bite. Her eyes had closed with a dreamy smile, less at the taste of the cake - although it was delicious - and more at the thought that Natalia had been willing to play like this. It might have just been a bite of cake, but it was also a little bit of seduction and Olivia was more than willing to bite. Eyes still closed, Olivia let out a small groan. Okay, maybe she was playing it up a little, but this was only the smallest taste of what Natalia did to her without even realizing it.
When her eyes had opened, Natalia was blushing, her eyes downcast and for a heart-stopping moment Olivia wondered if she had pushed Natalia too far, too fast outside of her comfort zone.
Then Natalia looked back up at her, her eyes blazing and Olivia had swallowed, her throat suddenly dry from what she saw.
"My turn," Natalia had said, holding the fork out to Olivia and Olivia wondered how she could sound so seductive when it didn't even look as if she was trying.
From there, they had taken turns eating the cake, sharing a bite back and forth. Olivia had thought she was going to die when Natalia licked a stray smudge of frosting from one of her fingers, but now they were finished, both with dessert and their coffee and there was no good excuse to stay any longer.
"It is getting late," Natalia agreed, finally reaching for the bill that lay between them. Olivia was just as quick, laying her hand over top of Natalia's. "No." Natalia cut her off quickly before she could even speak. "I asked, my treat."
Part of Olivia rebelled at the thought. She made so much more than Natalia and she wanted to take care of her, give her everything she hadn't even thought about wanting. Fair was fair though, and she couldn't see a way out of this conversation without an argument. Not that she was adverse to a good conflict. It could be an excellent way to get the blood flowing, but she had high hopes for winning a kiss from Natalia before the end of the night and a squabble over the bill would not improve her chances. So she would retreat to fight another day.
"Fine," she conceded aloud. "But next time, I'm buying."
"Fair enough," Natalia agreed, with a smile and just as quickly the tension eased.
With her other hand, she slipped the bill out from beneath their joined hands and began to work on it. Olivia's smirk resurfaced as she began to run two fingers lightly over the back of Natalia's hand where it lay underneath hers, and gently played with her fingers. She could see Natalia growing more flustered and distracted with each passing moment.
"Stop it!" Natalia finally burst out an instant later, unable to contain it any longer.
"Stop what?" Olivia asked, summoning her most innocent expression.
Natalia, however, wasn't buying it. "You know what," she murmured, just a little bit grumpily.
Olivia didn't comment but her teasing motions stopped long enough for Natalia to pay the bill and get them out of there.
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1,954
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I'm so far behind on replies, you guys. I'm sorry. I'll try to get to it this weekend. So tired right now.
Beta:
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic. Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine || Part Ten || Part Eleven || Part Twelve || Part Thirteen || Part Fourteen || Part Fifteen || Part Sixteen || Part Seventeen || Part Eighteen || Part Nineteen || Part Twenty || Part Twenty-One
Part Twenty-Two
"Hi." Olivia said softly. She had waited, letting Natalia have a final moment with Rafe before he raced out the door, but now she had Natalia all to herself. It was a wonderful thought.
Natalia smiled, the bright, impossibly happy smile that flashed dimples and made everyone around her want to smile back in response. Olivia loved it. Like an addict jonesing for a fix, she couldn't get enough of it.
"Hey, yourself." Natalia said lightly as she descended the final step and came around the banister.
Olivia was suddenly very aware of her hands and equally unsure what to do with them.
"I'm sorry," Natalia said abruptly, gesturing toward the stairs and the second floor. "I was running a little bit late." She blushed charmingly. "I wasn't sure what to wear."
"You look gorgeous in anything." Olivia spoke before she could censor herself, and then winced internally. She didn't know yet, just how much Natalia was comfortable with. So many things between them were new now. They had shared so much before, a knowing solidified by glances of mutual longing and lingering looks that conveyed more than either one could ever say, but there was something different about acknowledging it and saying it out loud. She had told Natalia she was beautiful before, but that had been under the guise of friendship. Now it meant so much more.
"Right," Natalia said, her voice full of disbelief.
But Olivia was already shaking her head. "No, I mean it. You might not always wear the fanciest clothes or follow the latest trends, but you always look breathtaking."
"Olivia..." Natalia's voice was breathy and full of some emotion that Olivia couldn't quite place. It was both pleading and doubtful.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Olivia apologized quickly, wanting nothing to put a damper on their evening. She wanted tonight to be perfect, not ruined by her inability to keep herself in check where Natalia was concerned.
"You didn't," Natalia jumped in quickly. "At least, not the way you're thinking. No one has ever said something like that to me before."
"Right," Olivia said knowingly. "You've waitressed and worked in bars, Natalia. I can't have been the only one telling you how gorgeous you are."
Natalia rolled her eyes. "There were men who asked me out, or...said things, but none of them ever made me feel like they meant it. It was just something they said to get what they wanted. It wasn't about me; they could have been saying it to anyone."
"I didn't mean to upset you," Olivia said softly.
"I know," Natalia reassured her. "I just..." She shook her head and smiled again, less brightly but just as sincerely. "Thank you. Can we just start over again?"
Olivia couldn't help but smirk. "Want me to run back outside and knock?"
Natalia tried not to let her amusement show, but she couldn't help it. "Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary."
"Good, because I don't want to miss a second with you."
"You keep saying things like that..." Natalia said in a breathy whisper.
Olivia laughed. She couldn't help it. She had been storing things like that up inside for so many months now that it felt wonderful to actually be able to say them aloud. "I mean every word." She let that sink in for a moment and then changed the subject in an attempt to lighten the moment. "Ready to go?"
"I am."
"Good. Then let's get this show on the road."
Natalia wrinkled her nose. "Has anyone ever told you, you talk funny?"
"I'm whimsical," Olivia declared. "It's part of my charm."
*** *** ***
Olivia was having more fun than she'd had in years. It wasn't as if they were doing something special. As dates went, this one was fairly normal, even boring one might say, if one were Olivia Spencer circa 2007. They were having dinner at a nice restaurant, wearing clothes only slightly nicer and more revealing than what they saw each other in every day. After dinner, they might go for an early evening walk in the park and then Olivia would return Natalia home. What made it so wonderful was that she was on the date with Natalia. What had once been impossible was now reality and Olivia couldn't stop smiling. She was as giddy as a school girl on her first date.
And that was the problem. She was sitting here, wondering what Natalia would do if she reached across the table and held her hand. It was laying invitingly out on the table, her fingers curled open just so, and it was all Olivia could do not to reach out and take her hand. Was hand-holding allowed, and if so would Natalia let her hold her hand in a public place like this one? Why the hell was she even thinking about hand-holding? She was Olivia Spencer. She didn't hold hands. She did things like having mind-blowing sex in cramped bathroom stalls where there was every chance of being caught, not worry about a little harmless public display of affection that no one was even likely to notice.
"Olivia?" Natalia sounded worried and that immediately caught Olivia's attention, pulling her out of the fog of irritation that surrounded her.
"Sorry? What was that?" Olivia couldn't believe she'd let her attention drift so far that she'd missed what Natalia was saying. Damn tempting hand.
"I called your name several times. You didn't hear me. I was starting to get worried. Is everything okay?" Natalia looked so serious that Olivia immediately regretted worrying her.
"Everything's fine. Wonderful, actually. I just got lost in thought."
"Penny for your thoughts?" Natalia asked quietly.
Olivia hesitated. There was no way she could tell Natalia what she was really thinking about. It was too ridiculous to admit to.
"You don't have to," Natalia added as the silence grew. "I was just-"
"No," Olivia said quickly. To hell with dignity. "It wasn't anything bad." She looked down. "I was just thinking how much I'd like to hold your hand."
"Really?" And once again there was that faint hint of disbelief in Natalia's voice.
This time Olivia didn't try to convince her otherwise, she just nodded. "Really," she agreed softly, putting every ounce of certainty that she possessed into it.
"You could, you know. Hold my hand," Natalia added as Olivia raised a questioning eyebrow. "I would like that very much."
Olivia reached out taking Natalia's fingers in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of them tenderly. A faint smirk tugged at her lips, relief turning into a hint of mischief. "You could have taken my hand," she pointed out.
"I wanted to," Natalia said with a smile.
"But you didn't," Olivia pointed out.
"I wasn't sure..." Natalia trailed off. "It seemed silly, wanting to hold your hand," she admitted in a small voice.
"Not silly at all," Olivia corrected her, squeezing her hand again. "You can hold my hand any time you want."
"Yeah?" Natalia asked quietly, something else in her voice, in the look in her eyes than just the question she was asking.
"Yeah," Olivia responded, unable to keep her voice from dropping into a smoky purr. If Natalia kept looking at her like that... She banished the thought with effort. Someday. She could wait as long as she needed to now that she knew there would be a someday.
*** *** ***
"It's getting late," Olivia said softly, and it was.
They had never made it to that walk in the park, lingering instead over dessert. Natalia had hesitated when the waiter had asked if they wanted some, glancing over at Olivia to see if she was interested. In the end they had compromised, ordering the most decadent chocolate cake on the menu, but sharing it instead of getting two pieces.
There had been some mistake because when the waiter had returned with their coffee and dessert, he had brought only one fork, not two. Olivia had opened her mouth to say something when she felt Natalia touch her wrist lightly. She had looked up to a faint shake of Natalia's head and paused long enough for the waiter to leave again. For a second she wondered what Natalia was thinking and then Natalia had picked up the fork and cut off a small corner, gooey, still-warm frosting clinging to the fork as she lifted it up toward Olivia.
It had taken a second for Natalia's actions to sink in, and then Olivia had leaned forward and accepted the proffered bite. Her eyes had closed with a dreamy smile, less at the taste of the cake - although it was delicious - and more at the thought that Natalia had been willing to play like this. It might have just been a bite of cake, but it was also a little bit of seduction and Olivia was more than willing to bite. Eyes still closed, Olivia let out a small groan. Okay, maybe she was playing it up a little, but this was only the smallest taste of what Natalia did to her without even realizing it.
When her eyes had opened, Natalia was blushing, her eyes downcast and for a heart-stopping moment Olivia wondered if she had pushed Natalia too far, too fast outside of her comfort zone.
Then Natalia looked back up at her, her eyes blazing and Olivia had swallowed, her throat suddenly dry from what she saw.
"My turn," Natalia had said, holding the fork out to Olivia and Olivia wondered how she could sound so seductive when it didn't even look as if she was trying.
From there, they had taken turns eating the cake, sharing a bite back and forth. Olivia had thought she was going to die when Natalia licked a stray smudge of frosting from one of her fingers, but now they were finished, both with dessert and their coffee and there was no good excuse to stay any longer.
"It is getting late," Natalia agreed, finally reaching for the bill that lay between them. Olivia was just as quick, laying her hand over top of Natalia's. "No." Natalia cut her off quickly before she could even speak. "I asked, my treat."
Part of Olivia rebelled at the thought. She made so much more than Natalia and she wanted to take care of her, give her everything she hadn't even thought about wanting. Fair was fair though, and she couldn't see a way out of this conversation without an argument. Not that she was adverse to a good conflict. It could be an excellent way to get the blood flowing, but she had high hopes for winning a kiss from Natalia before the end of the night and a squabble over the bill would not improve her chances. So she would retreat to fight another day.
"Fine," she conceded aloud. "But next time, I'm buying."
"Fair enough," Natalia agreed, with a smile and just as quickly the tension eased.
With her other hand, she slipped the bill out from beneath their joined hands and began to work on it. Olivia's smirk resurfaced as she began to run two fingers lightly over the back of Natalia's hand where it lay underneath hers, and gently played with her fingers. She could see Natalia growing more flustered and distracted with each passing moment.
"Stop it!" Natalia finally burst out an instant later, unable to contain it any longer.
"Stop what?" Olivia asked, summoning her most innocent expression.
Natalia, however, wasn't buying it. "You know what," she murmured, just a little bit grumpily.
Olivia didn't comment but her teasing motions stopped long enough for Natalia to pay the bill and get them out of there.
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"Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably."
Time for that promised rating change!
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Waiting for more! :)
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The seduction between the two women is just as delicious as that cake seemed.
More please.
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"Has anyone ever told you, you talk funny?" / "I'm whimsical," Olivia declared. "It's part of my charm." - Hehehehe
The hand-holding was cute. And Lordamighty, since when is eating cake hot? *fans self*
Olivia's smirk resurfaced as she began to run two fingers lightly over the back of Natalia's hand where it lay underneath hers, and gently played with her fingers. She could see Natalia growing more flustered and distracted with each passing moment. / "Stop it!" Natalia finally burst out an instant later, unable to contain it any longer. / "Stop what?" Olivia asked, summoning her most innocent expression. / Natalia, however, wasn't buying it. "You know what," she murmured, just a little bit grumpily. - Hehehe