![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Even If It Killed Her
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1054
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I see you there, sitting behind your computer, wondering why I'm posting this when I haven't even finished The Importance of Family yet. And you're right, but I'm still putting the finishing touches on that one, and this is all finished. It's sitting here on my computer, staring at me, daring me to post it. So posting it, I am.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six
Part Seven
Natalia hesitated outside the door to Olivia's suite, her hand half-raised to knock before she let it drop back to her side. She had already been by Olivia's office and she wasn't in yet. It was late enough in the morning that Olivia should be up and running, and, of course, during her recovery and even after they had spent plenty of time working out of Olivia's suite. Sometimes it was just easier and she had never hesitated to enter before, even when Olivia had been demanding that she get out and not come back. Things were different now though. She and Olivia were walking the thin line of acknowledging that things were different between them, but struggling not to change how they acted around one another. Knocking would mean that things had changed, but not knocking felt like she was presuming too much. In the end, Natalia just knocked and tried to pretend she didn't noticed the startled look on Olivia's face when she opened the door.
"Hi," Olivia said, standing in the doorway like she wasn't sure what came next.
"You, uh, weren't in your office this morning." Natalia explained quickly, not wanting to create any kind of misunderstanding here. This was her job and she was trying to be as professional as possible, no matter how odd it seemed in the circumstances.
"Oh, right," Olivia blurted out quickly. "Emma didn't want to go to school this morning and I had a hard time getting her ready and then I almost forgot her lunch..." She trailed off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Not important. I'm just running a little late. Did you need something?"
"Greg had a few questions and I wanted to go over your schedule." Natalia knew she shouldn't ask, but she couldn't help herself. "What's wrong with Emma? She loves school."
Olivia glanced away, stepping out of the doorway and motioned for Natalia to come inside. She shut the door behind her and used it as an excuse to continue avoiding making eye contact with Natalia. "She's just upset right now. She'll get over it eventually." Although her statement lacked Olivia's usual confidence and Natalia could hear the sadness behind it.
"What is she upset about?"
Olivia gave her a pained smile. "You know, the farmhouse was her first real home, not just a place to live, like the Beacon. But she'll get over it." Now she sounded determined. "We'll make a new home. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that: I need you to clear my afternoon."
"Oh?" Natalia asked, allowing the conversation to shift back to business mode. It was easier to resort to that and not think about why Emma was so upset. She pulled out her planner and scanned it quickly, deciding which appointments could be canceled all together, which ones needed to be shifted and to where. There was only one meeting that was really important and she could easily fit it into Olivia's morning, even with her running late.
"I talked to Blake yesterday and she has a few places to show us."
"For the Beacon?" Natalia asked, startled. She knew that Blake sold real estate on the side. Working at Company didn't deliver the world's greatest paychecks although the intangibles were nice. She hadn't ever heard of Blake dealing with commercial properties or any properties outside of the immediate area, and there was no way that Olivia was going to bring another hotel into Springfield. The only thing she would be competing with was herself.
"No," Olivia said, with an expression that Natalia realized meant that she wished Natalia would just understand what she was trying to say already instead of forcing her to spell it out. "It's for me and Emma. I promised her when we left the farmhouse that this-" She gestured around the room "-would only be temporary. I'm going to buy a house for us."
It was only logical, Natalia knew, that Olivia would do that, would want that for Emma. The Beacon would never really feel like home. No matter how long they lived there, it would always have a temporary, transitory feel. Emma was a little girl who had already lost too much in her life. Her father had never been a constant presence and her mother had almost died on her twice over the past two years. It was a lot for anyone to take in much less a child. She needed the stability that having a real house to come home to would provide. Understanding all of that didn't make it hurt any less though.
Buying a house was a commitment, even for someone as wealthy as Olivia. It meant, in a way that nothing else had, that what they had shared in the farmhouse was really over. It would never be the same again. Natalia felt like crying, but pushed the tears back. They were selfish tears. She couldn't demand Olivia to stay here in the Beacon, not when she had already changed everything.
"Say something," Olivia said quietly.
Natalia swallowed. "I think it's great. I hope you and Emma find a place that you really like." Each word was almost painful to say. She wondered if this was how Olivia had felt when she was encouraging her to marry Frank.
Olivia looked down, flipping through a folder without really seeing its contents, not meeting her eyes. "It'll be hard."
"Hard?"
"To find a place that measures up."
"To Spaulding Mansion?" Natalia asked with a slight grin, trying to lighten the moment.
Olivia shot her a puzzled looked as she shook her head. "To the farmhouse."
"Olivia..." Her name was a mere whisper on Natalia's tongue and her heart ached at Olivia's admission. "I'm sorry." She couldn't stop the words from spilling out, as much as she knew she shouldn't say them. She was getting dangerously close to everything they were trying to pretend didn't exist.
But Olivia had already straightened, her all business facade firmly back in place. "Don't," She said, cutting Natalia off sharply. "You shouldn't apologize," Olivia added more gently. "All I wanted was for you to be happy. If Frank...I just want you to be happy."
Natalia nodded and looked away, but happy was the last word she would use to describe herself right now.
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1054
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I see you there, sitting behind your computer, wondering why I'm posting this when I haven't even finished The Importance of Family yet. And you're right, but I'm still putting the finishing touches on that one, and this is all finished. It's sitting here on my computer, staring at me, daring me to post it. So posting it, I am.
Beta:
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic. Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six
Part Seven
Natalia hesitated outside the door to Olivia's suite, her hand half-raised to knock before she let it drop back to her side. She had already been by Olivia's office and she wasn't in yet. It was late enough in the morning that Olivia should be up and running, and, of course, during her recovery and even after they had spent plenty of time working out of Olivia's suite. Sometimes it was just easier and she had never hesitated to enter before, even when Olivia had been demanding that she get out and not come back. Things were different now though. She and Olivia were walking the thin line of acknowledging that things were different between them, but struggling not to change how they acted around one another. Knocking would mean that things had changed, but not knocking felt like she was presuming too much. In the end, Natalia just knocked and tried to pretend she didn't noticed the startled look on Olivia's face when she opened the door.
"Hi," Olivia said, standing in the doorway like she wasn't sure what came next.
"You, uh, weren't in your office this morning." Natalia explained quickly, not wanting to create any kind of misunderstanding here. This was her job and she was trying to be as professional as possible, no matter how odd it seemed in the circumstances.
"Oh, right," Olivia blurted out quickly. "Emma didn't want to go to school this morning and I had a hard time getting her ready and then I almost forgot her lunch..." She trailed off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Not important. I'm just running a little late. Did you need something?"
"Greg had a few questions and I wanted to go over your schedule." Natalia knew she shouldn't ask, but she couldn't help herself. "What's wrong with Emma? She loves school."
Olivia glanced away, stepping out of the doorway and motioned for Natalia to come inside. She shut the door behind her and used it as an excuse to continue avoiding making eye contact with Natalia. "She's just upset right now. She'll get over it eventually." Although her statement lacked Olivia's usual confidence and Natalia could hear the sadness behind it.
"What is she upset about?"
Olivia gave her a pained smile. "You know, the farmhouse was her first real home, not just a place to live, like the Beacon. But she'll get over it." Now she sounded determined. "We'll make a new home. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that: I need you to clear my afternoon."
"Oh?" Natalia asked, allowing the conversation to shift back to business mode. It was easier to resort to that and not think about why Emma was so upset. She pulled out her planner and scanned it quickly, deciding which appointments could be canceled all together, which ones needed to be shifted and to where. There was only one meeting that was really important and she could easily fit it into Olivia's morning, even with her running late.
"I talked to Blake yesterday and she has a few places to show us."
"For the Beacon?" Natalia asked, startled. She knew that Blake sold real estate on the side. Working at Company didn't deliver the world's greatest paychecks although the intangibles were nice. She hadn't ever heard of Blake dealing with commercial properties or any properties outside of the immediate area, and there was no way that Olivia was going to bring another hotel into Springfield. The only thing she would be competing with was herself.
"No," Olivia said, with an expression that Natalia realized meant that she wished Natalia would just understand what she was trying to say already instead of forcing her to spell it out. "It's for me and Emma. I promised her when we left the farmhouse that this-" She gestured around the room "-would only be temporary. I'm going to buy a house for us."
It was only logical, Natalia knew, that Olivia would do that, would want that for Emma. The Beacon would never really feel like home. No matter how long they lived there, it would always have a temporary, transitory feel. Emma was a little girl who had already lost too much in her life. Her father had never been a constant presence and her mother had almost died on her twice over the past two years. It was a lot for anyone to take in much less a child. She needed the stability that having a real house to come home to would provide. Understanding all of that didn't make it hurt any less though.
Buying a house was a commitment, even for someone as wealthy as Olivia. It meant, in a way that nothing else had, that what they had shared in the farmhouse was really over. It would never be the same again. Natalia felt like crying, but pushed the tears back. They were selfish tears. She couldn't demand Olivia to stay here in the Beacon, not when she had already changed everything.
"Say something," Olivia said quietly.
Natalia swallowed. "I think it's great. I hope you and Emma find a place that you really like." Each word was almost painful to say. She wondered if this was how Olivia had felt when she was encouraging her to marry Frank.
Olivia looked down, flipping through a folder without really seeing its contents, not meeting her eyes. "It'll be hard."
"Hard?"
"To find a place that measures up."
"To Spaulding Mansion?" Natalia asked with a slight grin, trying to lighten the moment.
Olivia shot her a puzzled looked as she shook her head. "To the farmhouse."
"Olivia..." Her name was a mere whisper on Natalia's tongue and her heart ached at Olivia's admission. "I'm sorry." She couldn't stop the words from spilling out, as much as she knew she shouldn't say them. She was getting dangerously close to everything they were trying to pretend didn't exist.
But Olivia had already straightened, her all business facade firmly back in place. "Don't," She said, cutting Natalia off sharply. "You shouldn't apologize," Olivia added more gently. "All I wanted was for you to be happy. If Frank...I just want you to be happy."
Natalia nodded and looked away, but happy was the last word she would use to describe herself right now.
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(contemplates getting out the Bat of Encouragement)
Waiting for more. :)
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Aww, poor Jellybean
Each word was almost painful to say. She wondered if this was how Olivia had felt when she was encouraging her to marry Frank. - Neat.