Title: Until I Can Breathe Again
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Um, I don't know that there are any specifically, but through the 5/6/09 episode.
Summary: Just a little bit of speculation on my part about what might happen the day after Emma arrives.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera & Emma Spencer) and situations belong to Guiding Light and whoever it is that owns it. I'm not them.
Notes: The title is from a Sarah Mclachlan song called Train Wreck, and goes something like: And your mouth, it's all that I wish;
Mercy of your lips, just one kiss;  Until I can breathe again. 


The room is still dark when Natalia wakes.  Instinct - an unerring sixth sense developed over years of waking up early to get her kid ready for school before she has to get in to work - tells her that it's morning already.  She shifts slightly so that she can look over at the bed's other two occupants.

She sees Emma first, the little girl curled between she and Olivia like a warming, living barrier that Natalia has to admit she's just a little bit grateful for.  Having Emma there makes it so much less awkward.  It puts them back on familiar ground. But Natalia can't help but feeling a hint of regret at being back on that familiar ground. 

Finally she looks over at Olivia, and finds beautiful green eyes staring back at her unblinkingly.  It takes her breath away, startling her. Not least of which is because she's certain that she's never seen Olivia awake this early.  But it's more than that.  It's the way that Olivia's looking at her. 

It's both familiar and not. Familiar because she's seen this look in Olivia's eyes before - so many times - but new because she really, really wants to do something about that look now, and she knows it.

She slides her  hand across the space between them, sliding against soft sheets, just above Emma's head.  She draws her index finger from the base of Olivia's jaw up to the tip of her chin.  The soft, warm skin under her finger is mesmerizing.  She looks up to see Olivia's eyes fluttering shut under her touch.

It's awkward with Emma between them, but there's already not much space separating them, and Natalia doesn't hesitate to lessen it, scooting closer to Olivia.  She's not looking at Olivia's eyes anymore.  Instead she can't seem to take her eyes off Olivia's lips.  The subtle curve of them, their tantalizing fullness captures her completely, and now she's so close that she can feel the warmth of Olivia's breath mingling with her own. 

She tilts her head so that she's even closer.  Her heart is pounding so rapidly now that she's sure that Olivia can hear it, has to hear it.  Is Olivia's heart pounding like her own?  It can't possibly be good for her, Natalia thinks, a little bit wildly. But if she doesn't do this, if she doesn't finish what she's started, then she just might die.

Her eyes drift closed just as her lips are about to brush Olivia's.

"Mommy?"  Emma's sleepy voice hits her with all of the shock of a bucket of ice water. 

Natalia pulls back so quickly she feels dizzy.  Her head is pounding and she feels vaguely nauseous.  When she opens her eyes, Olivia is staring at her again.  The look - she can't call it anything but smoldering - makes Natalia flush.  She can feel it to the tips of her toes.  She's stunned, caught, trapped, without words, and frozen in place. 

Oliva rescues her, clearing her throat and looking down. 

"Morning, Jellybean," she says softly, reaching down to tousle her daughter's hair.  "You ready for breakfast?"

It breaks the tension, dispelling it with Emma's familiar laughter and Oliva's slightly grumpy morning mood.  Underneath it all, Natalia is still trembling.  She smiles and she is truly happy to be here with Oliva and Emma, but underneath it there is regret for a missed opportunity.

She wants it.  She wants to kiss Olivia, and the loss of it hits her like an ache.  Her only consolation is that this won't be her last chance.  That's why they're here trying to figure this out, so that she can kiss her anytime she wants to. 

Even that thought can't quite erase the ache within her, though.

Tags:

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


Awesome! I can totally see it happening too! Well, at least Natalia waking up to see Olivia watching her anyway!

From: [identity profile] laughsunshine.livejournal.com


I want this to happen! Or at least almost--I want them to kiss tomorrow hah:)

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


Dude, so did I! At least CC's podcast interview gently nudged me back from the ledge so that I won't be waiting with baited breath, every. single. day.

From: [identity profile] ralst.livejournal.com


I can easily picture this happening on tomorrow's show.

Really nicely done.

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


I so wish something like this would happen next week! At least some lingering looks!

From: [identity profile] xamanthe.livejournal.com


I've been thinking about a scene like this since I saw the ep today. I could SO see it happening, but I think we are going to get teased for a while longer. *sigh* I'm really ready for that first kiss...

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


I know. *sigh* They really are dragging this out, but when it's not driving me insane, I really love it!

From: [identity profile] geekgrrllurking.livejournal.com


AAUUGGHH! So close!!

I am so ready for the kiss to happen. Poor Natalia and Olivia must be dying. Very nice fic!

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


Me too! I can't believe I wrote this fic! It was supposed to be a kiss for reals! Heh. But then I did rectify that.


From: [identity profile] vjb2006.livejournal.com


Terrific focus on one scene - while we're unlikely to ever see it *sigh* you capture the very real possibility of it as driven by the characters very well!

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


I hope we get to see them kiss eventually. I have faith. I think. I hope. It's been pretty awesome so far!

From: [identity profile] pf-c.livejournal.com


Very nicely written. It had a beautiful mesmerizing flow to it.

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


Thank you! I just really wanted to capture that just one little moment.

From: [identity profile] dollfleshdecay.livejournal.com


This is really lovely.

I just started watching this show a bit ago. I really hope they end up happy together. (I'm pretty sure that would be a first for day-time t.v.)

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


I think they will get their happy ending. Or at least a happy beginning given the possible cancellation. This show is doing a better job of not stringing along, and being good to its fans than any other I've ever seen.

From: [identity profile] qarae77.livejournal.com


Oh man, i felt everything that Natalia felt. What it must feel like to see those green eyes staring back at her when she woke up. The warmth of Olivia's breath. The ache and desire left when she had to pull away. I'm still feeling that actually. HAHA

Well done!

From: [identity profile] jaina47.livejournal.com


Thank you! That's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to show Natalia wanting Olivia, even if she didn't quite get to have that yet.
.

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