Title: Five Things Natalia Rivera Never Thought She'd See
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Natalia Rivera, Olivia Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Emma Spencer, Frank Cooper, Bill Lewis.
Category: Romance, Drama, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 3,988
Summary: After Olivia starts staying home with Francesca, she and Natalia both have to make some adjustments.
Spoilers/Timeline Post GL-Finale
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: This was originally written for Rysler's birthday. In the spring. As those of you who have my email addy may know, I have procrastination problems. Fortunately, Rysler isn't holding that against me.
Beta: Many thanks to both Kelinswriter and Aimlessny for letting me bounce ideas off of them through this whole tortuously long process. All their thoughts and opinions were very much appreciated.
Part One
2.
Natalia walked in the back door and froze. Something was wrong. The house smelled delicious - nothing new there. Olivia had started cooking more and more the longer she stayed home with Francesca, using her spare time to whip up almost gourmet meals the likes of which Natalia had hardly seen and never eaten. The thing that disturbed Natalia however, was the distinctive ascending and descending whine of a vacuum cleaner drifting out from the living room.
If Olivia had brought in a maid or a cleaning service when Natalia was perfectly capable of taking care of small domestic chores like that on her days off...well, Olivia would get a piece of her mind.
With a sigh, Natalia slipped out of her suit jacket, draping it over her arm and slipping the strap of her purse over the corner of her chair at the kitchen table as she strode determinedly past and into the living room only to stop short once more.
Olivia stood there, wearing a red dress that Natalia was certain she had never seen before. Certain, because she would have remembered. Certain, because the hem was so high it barely qualified as a dress. Certain, because the front was cut so low that Olivia’s ample assets were almost spilling out of it as she bent over. Natalia swallowed - hard.
Olivia vacuuming, wearing stilettos that emphasized her already spectacular legs and that dress - well, it was a sight to see.
A ridiculous one, part of Natalia’s brain supplied. The part of her that had spent sixteen, twenty-hour days slaving away as a maid, doing the dreary, mind-numbing and often disgusting job of picking up after other people could find nothing sexy about Olivia dressed like that. Just ridiculous.
Yet there was no denying the flush of heat that had surged through her the moment that she had seen Olivia. Or the way that Olivia was deliberately exaggerating her movements, extending the vacuum further and further in front of her to emphasize her assets. Olivia was baiting her, deliberately taunting her and Natalia didn’t think she would be able to refuse.
“What are you doing?” The words tumbled from Natalia’s lips, fingers jerking up to cover her lips a moment too late. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
Olivia turned - how she heard Natalia over the roar of the vacuum, Natalia wasn’t quite sure - and smiled at her as calmly as if this was normal.
“Oh, I just thought I’d get a few light household chores done while I was waiting for you to get home.”
“The girls-”
“-Are with their Daddies.”
“Oh,” Natalia said, realization dawning more fully. All this for her. It was almost too much to process. She couldn't help but sneak another raking glance over Olivia's body. Her hand came up, curled into a loose fist and pressed against her mouth, stifling the almost hysterical giggles that wanted to spill out. Instead she said the first thing she thought. "That is the most impractical cleaning outfit I've ever seen."
Or maybe she squeaked it.
Olivia smirked. "Oh, I think it'll get the job done."
"Olivia-"
But Olivia brushed aside whatever she had been about to say.
"Let me get you a drink. A martini. No, that's more my drink." She eyed Natalia speculatively for a moment. "Hmm. What about a rum and coke?" Natalia didn't drink often but Olivia thought she had seen Natalia order one before.
Natalia barely managed a nod.
“Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll be right back,” Olivia said, giving Natalia a heated look over her shoulder, a look that lingered until she forced herself to turn away and disappeared into the kitchen.
Natalia sank into the wicker chair at the end of the couch, grateful that it was there to support her. For the first time, Natalia felt awkward in her own home. She didn’t know what to do with her hands. It felt strange to have Olivia waiting on her - not that she wasn’t usually thoughtful or didn’t constantly find some little ways to pamper Natalia, but this was different in some way that Natalia couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Besides the obvious. Besides the fact that Olivia’s every move, every glance was intended to seduce and Natalia was more than a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way. But there had only been once since Francesca was born - a stolen moment nearly a week after they had gotten the doctor’s okay. That it had taken so long wasn’t for lack of trying, but lack of opportunity.
When Natalia had finally touched Olivia the anticipation and weeks of abstinence taking their toll, rendering any foreplay unnecessary. It might also have been the little teasing touches and stolen caresses that Natalia had snuck in any time Olivia was near her that day, unable to keep her hands to herself any longer.
In return, Olivia had been gentle with her - so achingly gentle that it had almost driven Natalia insane. With tentative touches and worried questions, Olivia needed to know she wasn’t hurting Natalia, that nothing about the way Olivia was touching her made her uncomfortable. And it hadn’t. Feeling Olivia’s hands, her mouth on her was the most exquisite thing she had ever felt.
But despite it all she had been unable to come that night. Unable to fully relax, she came so close to that edge several times only to have it slip frustratingly away from her.
When Francesca’s angry cry had come over the baby monitor it had almost been a relief that they could stop. Natalia had practically jumped out of bed and scurried into Francesca’s room.
She rocked their daughter in the moonlit room, hoping Francesca would remain drowsily content and not pick up on her feelings of tension and overwhelming frustration - both mental and physical. She wanted Olivia, but every time she felt the orgasm slip away she felt like she had failed Olivia. Intellectually she knew it wasn't true, but the feeling remained.
She had taken her time, almost hoping Olivia would be asleep by the time she returned. But she hadn’t been. Instead she had been waiting for Natalia, waiting to finish what they had started. Natalia had declined, telling Olivia that she was tired and Olivia had accepted it. In the faint light it had been easy to pretend there hadn’t been a shadow of disappointment in Olivia’s eyes.
In the time since, neither one of them had broached the subject. Natalia wasn’t quite certain how and Olivia simply hadn’t. Until now.
"Here you go, beautiful. One rum and coke, just for you," Olivia said holding out the tumbler.
Natalia took a tiny sip to wet her lips and then lowered the glass to the arm of the chair. Her lips tingled with rum and anticipation.
"Olivia-"
"Do you want me, Natalia?"
The boldness of the question made Natalia gasp. "Of course I want you."
"Then sit back and let me do this." There was a hint of frustration in Olivia's voice. “Please.”
There was nothing about her that Natalia could refuse, so she didn't. Holding her hand out to Olivia, Natalia half-expected Olivia to use it to pull her up and lead her upstairs to their room. Being able to call it that - theirs - still sent a shiver down Natalia's spine.
But instead Olivia kissed her knuckles and then brought the back of Natalia's hand to her cheek, nuzzling into it like a kitten. The gesture was far more sensual than playful and Natalia felt her breathing quicken.
Gently Olivia lowered their joined hands and stepped closer, looming over Natalia. Olivia braced herself with a hand on each arm of the chair. She tilted her head and Natalia was already surging upwards to claim a kiss, almost sending her drink crashing to the floor as her sudden motion sent the chair rocking forward.
Olivia groaned as their lips met, melting into the kiss and Natalia as Natalia's hands slid into her hair, cupping the back of Olivia’s head and holding her close. Natalia refused to let her go. If Olivia wasn't going to take her upstairs then she would have Olivia here, in her lap. But Olivia resisted, keeping her arms rigid and her body raised over Natalia's. Natalia let out a frustrated whimper. Her hands fell away from where they had been tangled in thick, silky hair as Olivia rose up, breaking the kiss.
"Hey," Natalia whispered, sounding high-pitched and breathy. "Where are you going?"
But Olivia didn’t answer, giving her a mysterious smile instead. It made Natalia’s pulse jump and her heart race. Then Olivia’s hand found it’s way to the button on Natalia’s slacks and she forgot how to breathe. The warmth of Olivia’s fingertips brushing against her skin was intoxicating. Natalia shivered. This was only the beginning - it was only going to get more intense. She had no idea how she was going to handle that. But it was Olivia and stopping wasn’t even an option. There was no doubt that she had wanted Olivia from the moment she had walked into the living room and seen her standing there like some goddess incarnate.
Keeping her gaze locked on Natalia, Olivia reached for the small metal tab of the zipper and began to pull it down. She only glanced away from Natalia once, when it snagged on the edge of the fabric and she had to free it. The soft snicking sound of the zipper sliding down was loud in the quiet room.
And there was no way that Natalia could just sit there and let Olivia have her way with her. Her hands itched to touch Olivia, ached to feel the softness of her skin and be close to her warmth. Natalia reached for Olivia, curling her hands around Olivia’s waist. Losing herself in the sensual feel of Olivia, Natalia let her hands slide further back and around until she was cupping Olivia’s tight, shapely rear in both hands. She gave it a light squeeze and Olivia dropped her head down to rest on Natalia’s shoulder.
“Impatient?” Olivia murmured, as she turned her head so that her lips were brushing against the base of Natalia’s neck. She pressed the faintest of kisses there and began to nip, nibble and kiss her way up Natalia’s neck, lavishing her with attention.
“For you?” Natalia gasped, sucking in a breath and tilting her head to give Olivia better access. “Always.”
Olivia let out a soft snort of laughter, the warmth of her breath brushing across the already sensitive skin of Natalia’s neck. It was more than Natalia could resist and she used the hold that she already had on Olivia to pull her forward, tugging her down, needing more contact - to feel Olivia against her.
With better leverage than she’d had before and Olivia unprepared, Olivia fell forward against Natalia, her knee landing between Natalia’s legs. Natalia gasped as Olivia’s knee pressed into her. She couldn’t help it. Just like she couldn’t help pressing back into that solid contact, grinding herself into Olivia. She ached; she needed; she wanted. And Olivia was the only one who could give it to her.
“Natalia.” Olivia managed to sound both chiding and breathy. “Let me. Please. I want to do this for you.” Olivia had said it before, more boldly and more definitively, but now she was asking again, pleading, almost begging with Natalia to let her have what she wanted.
It wasn’t that Natalia wanted to decline, but she had never had an offer like this before. Sex, of course, but not like this. Not what Olivia was proposing, this single-minded focus on her and her alone, catering her desires and making it something Natalia could scarcely imagine. It was almost overwhelming.
Olivia shifted her weight back so that she was balanced on her folded knee. The slight change in position pressed her a little harder against Natalia. That pressure - pressure that was in way mental but purely physical, the feel of their bodies pushing into one another made up Natalia’s mind for her.
Natalia bit her lip - and nodded. It was all the response she could muster. Tension seemed to slip out of Olivia - tension Natalia hadn’t even realized was there until it was gone. Something about her body loosened and she bent to kiss her. It was both gentle and consuming, but Natalia had scarcely had time to sink into it and kiss her back before Olivia was pulling away, Natalia’s hands sliding up Olivia’s body to rest on her shoulder as she slipped back, dropping to her knees in front of the chair.
The loss of contact made Natalia whimper and her hands lifted up to sink into Olivia’s hair, twining her fingers through silky strands until there was no way that Olivia could move further away. But Olivia wasn’t trying to, hooking her hands behind Natalia’s knees and pulling her forward, closer to the edge of the seat. The sudden movement startled Natalia and her hands clenched around the strands of hair she still held, the nearest thing for her to get a grip on.
Olivia flinched at the quick, sharp tug on her scalp, but didn’t protest, turning her head to place a placating kiss on Natalia’s knee. A kiss Natalia wished was on bare skin and not pressed against the material of her slacks. Then Olivia’s hands were snaking up her thighs, slipping under her hips and grabbing a handful of material. It only took one tug for Natalia to realize what Olivia was trying to do. She hurriedly jerked her hips up to help Olivia, who made short work of them.
Olivia didn’t pull them all the way off, but rather left them bunched around Natalia’s ankles. It made Natalia feel awkward, clumsy and a little bit uncomfortable, but Olivia didn’t seem to notice, her hands trailing up the back of Natalia’s legs, skimming up firm calves and then running over the top of smooth thighs, exerting gentle pressure, urging her to spread her legs a little bit wider. Natalia let her legs fall open and her eyes drift shut. Her hand trembled a little as she reached out to touch Olivia, searching blindly for contact and then finding her, cupping the base of Olivia’s head.
Olivia bent beneath her touch, already in motion. With Natalia’s eyes closed, the first brush of Olivia’s lips against her inner thigh came as a surprise. Natalia hissed in a sharp breath at the contact. It tickled and delighted. The faint hint of anxiety that had been building within her dissolved and she laughed. Her eyes flew open a second later as she realized how Olivia might have interpreted that. She certainly wasn’t laughing at her, but in the sheer joy of what they were about to do.
But when her eyes snapped open, Olivia was looking up at her, her eyes clear and bright, only a hint of something in them that Natalia couldn’t quite place. She tilted her head to the side, silently asking Olivia what was wrong.
“Later.” Olivia whispered. Whatever it was seemed contained and separate, pushed back from the moment that Olivia had so skillfully been building between them, and when their eyes met the connection between them was immediate and electric. It was unbroken as Olivia nuzzled into her.
Natalia’s whole body tensed at the first brush of Olivia’s tongue against her. “Good” somehow seemed like an insufficient word to describe how it felt; attentive, loving, and tender not nearly encompassing enough. Her hand sank into Olivia’s hair, her fingers once more tightening their grip on silky strands as she struggled for something, anything to hold on to as sensations built and overwhelmed her. She squirmed, not in an attempt to get away from the skillful ministrations of Olivia’s lips, tongue and delicate fingers but because she couldn’t stay still.
Olivia moved with her, not holding Natalia down, but accommodating her, bending to her every whim. Every instinct in Natalia’s body made her want to close her eyes - to savor everything that Olivia was doing to her, to focus on the pleasure that was building within. But she was helpless, caught up in the spell that Olivia was weaving around her. She couldn’t help but watch Olivia. The sight of her, bent forward, her head between Natalia’s legs was almost as much of a turn-on as what Olivia was doing. An unexpected wave of tenderness swept over Natalia just as Olivia did that thing with her tongue - Natalia nearly screamed, a strangled sound torn from her lips as her climax broke over her.
Spasms wracked her body until it left her spent and lax, the last few flicks of Olivia’s tongue enough to make her muscles jump as she eased back down.
“Olivia...” It was hard to push the familiar syllables past a tight throat and dry mouth. Natalia managed it anyway.
Olivia sat, her head pillowed on Natalia’s thigh, staring up at her with such love in her eyes that it made Natalia’s heart ache.
She forced herself out of the languid state in which she reclined and made her hand move, sifting through the delicate strands of Olivia’s hair until she was pushing them behind Olivia’s ear, cupping her head. Natalia used her grip to urge Olivia up. It took a moment, Olivia pushing herself up on knees that were stiff from having remained in one position for too long, but then Olivia was in front of her, their eyes level. Natalia let her hand slide down to cup Olivia’s jaw, her thumb stroking Olivia’s cheek, and looked into her eyes. There was no hurry, no answer that Natalia needed to find in them. She was content just to look and see, feeling the connection between them and taking it all in. They didn’t have to do anything else.
But Natalia drew Olivia down to kiss her anyway, because she wanted to. Tasting the sweetness of Olivia’s lips - and herself on them - was its own reward. They kissed gently until they separated and Natalia pressed her forehead against Olivia’s. It was their way of connecting, feeling close to one another and the feeling of intimacy and familiarity that it brought almost surpassed what they had just shared. For so long this was all they had. Now, there was more, but this was still comforting.
“Talk to me,” Natalia said.
Olivia shrugged and tried to sit back on her heels. Natalia wrapped her arms around Olivia’s shoulders and refused to let her go. Olivia huffed but didn’t try to pull away any more. She turned her face into Natalia’s shoulder.
“I miss you.” Olivia sounded impossibly small when she said. Natalia’s arms tightened around her. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She thought of when she had left without warning, feeling the pang of guilt that would always be there at the thought of the trust she had destroyed. It had been a thing of such purity and she - Natalia - had taken it for granted. It was being rebuilt between them - had already risen anew - but she no longer took it for granted. She sheltered it and nurtured it like the fragile, precious thing that it was.
Or so she thought.
Natalia’s heart began to pound at the thought that she had missed something, some sign that Olivia needed something that she couldn’t give.
“I know,” Olivia said. And then she repeated it. “I know. You’re not going anywhere.” Her thumb ran over the bare skin of Natalia’s thigh. It distracted Natalia momentarily, the sensation making her mentally stand at attention. She forced herself to focus.
“I’m not,” Natalia agreed. She bit her lip. “Did I do something-”
“No,” Olivia said without hesitation. She smiled up at Natalia. “I think I got used to having you here all the time, being with you all day after Sweet Pea was born.” Her head dropped again. “This last time we did this, you didn’t come. We didn’t even... Did I do something that you didn’t like? Did I-”
Natalia pressed her thumb against Olivia’s lips, stopping her before she could say anything else.
“No, Sweetheart. No. Don’t even think that. You were - are - wonderful.” She smiled and couldn’t quite keep it from trembling. “I...” This was the part that was frightening, talking about herself and sharing. It was something that had been hard for her to get used to. She had spent Rafe’s entire life with no one to confide in. Now it was more a habit than not. Olivia had gotten under her skin. She simply understood Natalia in ways that Natalia had never imagined anyone could, but sometimes it was still a struggle to put those feelings into words when Olivia didn’t understand. “Olivia, that wasn’t about you.”
“Right,” Olivia said, but Natalia knew she didn’t quite believe it.
“No,” Natalia said firmly. “Not right. I enjoy sex.” Olivia’s head shot up so quickly that Natalia couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay. I know that.” A smug smile flickered across Olivia’s face to be replaced by confusion. “But then...”
“When it’s right.”
Olivia looked stricken again.
Natalia wrapped her legs around the back of Olivia’s thighs. “With Frank...” She shivered. “It wasn’t. And that was my fault. I thought it was with Gus. After we were married.” She bit her lip. “And maybe before. Even though I knew it wasn’t. I enjoyed it, in the moment, because I thought he was the one I should be with.
But I was wrong. Being with Gus is nothing like being with you.”
Olivia was barely breathing.
"Being with you is better - more pure. And the other night, when we...the first time after Francesca, it wasn’t right. Not because of you. Me. I couldn’t relax. I didn’t feel...right. Comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t... I wanted to be beautiful for you; I wanted to be perfect. But I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t feel sexy or...or worthy.” Her voice lowered. “And then, all I could think about was how much I hurt you and how good you are to me, to Francesca, Rafe. All of us. You give me so much love. And I couldn’t...I just couldn’t.”
"You're wrong,” Olivia said slowly.
"What?" Natalia wasn't following her.
"You are beautiful and I'm the one who's not worthy of you," Olivia whispered.
Natalia's heart broke. "No." She drew Olivia's chin up. "We were made for each other. You show me that every day."
"Yeah?" The hint of roughness in Olivia's voice reassured Natalia that she would be all right. It was almost teasing.
"Oh yeah." Natalia agreed with a nod.
"So I take it that means you liked your welcome home?"
Natalia grinned, her smile belying her next words. "It wasn't bad." Then her look turned mischievous. "Does this mean you're going to do chores around the house more often now?"
Olivia gave her a languid smile, full of heat and want. "Maybe."
Natalia couldn't help but laugh. Olivia braced her hands on Natalia's thighs and pushed herself to her feet.
"Hey," Natalia said a hint of complaint in her voice. "Where are you going?"
Olivia gave her a bemused smile. "To get a glass of water. I'll be back."
"Good. I have plans for you." Natalia watched her walk towards the kitchen entranced by the swing of her hips. "Olivia?"
Olivia stopped and glanced back over her shoulder at her, an eyebrow arched in question.
Natalia's brilliant smile flashed dimples. "I loved it. I love you."
(2/5)
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Natalia Rivera, Olivia Spencer, Francesca Rivera, Emma Spencer, Frank Cooper, Bill Lewis.
Category: Romance, Drama, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 3,988
Summary: After Olivia starts staying home with Francesca, she and Natalia both have to make some adjustments.
Spoilers/Timeline Post GL-Finale
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: This was originally written for Rysler's birthday. In the spring. As those of you who have my email addy may know, I have procrastination problems. Fortunately, Rysler isn't holding that against me.
Beta: Many thanks to both Kelinswriter and Aimlessny for letting me bounce ideas off of them through this whole tortuously long process. All their thoughts and opinions were very much appreciated.
Part One
2.
Natalia walked in the back door and froze. Something was wrong. The house smelled delicious - nothing new there. Olivia had started cooking more and more the longer she stayed home with Francesca, using her spare time to whip up almost gourmet meals the likes of which Natalia had hardly seen and never eaten. The thing that disturbed Natalia however, was the distinctive ascending and descending whine of a vacuum cleaner drifting out from the living room.
If Olivia had brought in a maid or a cleaning service when Natalia was perfectly capable of taking care of small domestic chores like that on her days off...well, Olivia would get a piece of her mind.
With a sigh, Natalia slipped out of her suit jacket, draping it over her arm and slipping the strap of her purse over the corner of her chair at the kitchen table as she strode determinedly past and into the living room only to stop short once more.
Olivia stood there, wearing a red dress that Natalia was certain she had never seen before. Certain, because she would have remembered. Certain, because the hem was so high it barely qualified as a dress. Certain, because the front was cut so low that Olivia’s ample assets were almost spilling out of it as she bent over. Natalia swallowed - hard.
Olivia vacuuming, wearing stilettos that emphasized her already spectacular legs and that dress - well, it was a sight to see.
A ridiculous one, part of Natalia’s brain supplied. The part of her that had spent sixteen, twenty-hour days slaving away as a maid, doing the dreary, mind-numbing and often disgusting job of picking up after other people could find nothing sexy about Olivia dressed like that. Just ridiculous.
Yet there was no denying the flush of heat that had surged through her the moment that she had seen Olivia. Or the way that Olivia was deliberately exaggerating her movements, extending the vacuum further and further in front of her to emphasize her assets. Olivia was baiting her, deliberately taunting her and Natalia didn’t think she would be able to refuse.
“What are you doing?” The words tumbled from Natalia’s lips, fingers jerking up to cover her lips a moment too late. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
Olivia turned - how she heard Natalia over the roar of the vacuum, Natalia wasn’t quite sure - and smiled at her as calmly as if this was normal.
“Oh, I just thought I’d get a few light household chores done while I was waiting for you to get home.”
“The girls-”
“-Are with their Daddies.”
“Oh,” Natalia said, realization dawning more fully. All this for her. It was almost too much to process. She couldn't help but sneak another raking glance over Olivia's body. Her hand came up, curled into a loose fist and pressed against her mouth, stifling the almost hysterical giggles that wanted to spill out. Instead she said the first thing she thought. "That is the most impractical cleaning outfit I've ever seen."
Or maybe she squeaked it.
Olivia smirked. "Oh, I think it'll get the job done."
"Olivia-"
But Olivia brushed aside whatever she had been about to say.
"Let me get you a drink. A martini. No, that's more my drink." She eyed Natalia speculatively for a moment. "Hmm. What about a rum and coke?" Natalia didn't drink often but Olivia thought she had seen Natalia order one before.
Natalia barely managed a nod.
“Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll be right back,” Olivia said, giving Natalia a heated look over her shoulder, a look that lingered until she forced herself to turn away and disappeared into the kitchen.
Natalia sank into the wicker chair at the end of the couch, grateful that it was there to support her. For the first time, Natalia felt awkward in her own home. She didn’t know what to do with her hands. It felt strange to have Olivia waiting on her - not that she wasn’t usually thoughtful or didn’t constantly find some little ways to pamper Natalia, but this was different in some way that Natalia couldn’t quite put her finger on.
Besides the obvious. Besides the fact that Olivia’s every move, every glance was intended to seduce and Natalia was more than a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way. But there had only been once since Francesca was born - a stolen moment nearly a week after they had gotten the doctor’s okay. That it had taken so long wasn’t for lack of trying, but lack of opportunity.
When Natalia had finally touched Olivia the anticipation and weeks of abstinence taking their toll, rendering any foreplay unnecessary. It might also have been the little teasing touches and stolen caresses that Natalia had snuck in any time Olivia was near her that day, unable to keep her hands to herself any longer.
In return, Olivia had been gentle with her - so achingly gentle that it had almost driven Natalia insane. With tentative touches and worried questions, Olivia needed to know she wasn’t hurting Natalia, that nothing about the way Olivia was touching her made her uncomfortable. And it hadn’t. Feeling Olivia’s hands, her mouth on her was the most exquisite thing she had ever felt.
But despite it all she had been unable to come that night. Unable to fully relax, she came so close to that edge several times only to have it slip frustratingly away from her.
When Francesca’s angry cry had come over the baby monitor it had almost been a relief that they could stop. Natalia had practically jumped out of bed and scurried into Francesca’s room.
She rocked their daughter in the moonlit room, hoping Francesca would remain drowsily content and not pick up on her feelings of tension and overwhelming frustration - both mental and physical. She wanted Olivia, but every time she felt the orgasm slip away she felt like she had failed Olivia. Intellectually she knew it wasn't true, but the feeling remained.
She had taken her time, almost hoping Olivia would be asleep by the time she returned. But she hadn’t been. Instead she had been waiting for Natalia, waiting to finish what they had started. Natalia had declined, telling Olivia that she was tired and Olivia had accepted it. In the faint light it had been easy to pretend there hadn’t been a shadow of disappointment in Olivia’s eyes.
In the time since, neither one of them had broached the subject. Natalia wasn’t quite certain how and Olivia simply hadn’t. Until now.
"Here you go, beautiful. One rum and coke, just for you," Olivia said holding out the tumbler.
Natalia took a tiny sip to wet her lips and then lowered the glass to the arm of the chair. Her lips tingled with rum and anticipation.
"Olivia-"
"Do you want me, Natalia?"
The boldness of the question made Natalia gasp. "Of course I want you."
"Then sit back and let me do this." There was a hint of frustration in Olivia's voice. “Please.”
There was nothing about her that Natalia could refuse, so she didn't. Holding her hand out to Olivia, Natalia half-expected Olivia to use it to pull her up and lead her upstairs to their room. Being able to call it that - theirs - still sent a shiver down Natalia's spine.
But instead Olivia kissed her knuckles and then brought the back of Natalia's hand to her cheek, nuzzling into it like a kitten. The gesture was far more sensual than playful and Natalia felt her breathing quicken.
Gently Olivia lowered their joined hands and stepped closer, looming over Natalia. Olivia braced herself with a hand on each arm of the chair. She tilted her head and Natalia was already surging upwards to claim a kiss, almost sending her drink crashing to the floor as her sudden motion sent the chair rocking forward.
Olivia groaned as their lips met, melting into the kiss and Natalia as Natalia's hands slid into her hair, cupping the back of Olivia’s head and holding her close. Natalia refused to let her go. If Olivia wasn't going to take her upstairs then she would have Olivia here, in her lap. But Olivia resisted, keeping her arms rigid and her body raised over Natalia's. Natalia let out a frustrated whimper. Her hands fell away from where they had been tangled in thick, silky hair as Olivia rose up, breaking the kiss.
"Hey," Natalia whispered, sounding high-pitched and breathy. "Where are you going?"
But Olivia didn’t answer, giving her a mysterious smile instead. It made Natalia’s pulse jump and her heart race. Then Olivia’s hand found it’s way to the button on Natalia’s slacks and she forgot how to breathe. The warmth of Olivia’s fingertips brushing against her skin was intoxicating. Natalia shivered. This was only the beginning - it was only going to get more intense. She had no idea how she was going to handle that. But it was Olivia and stopping wasn’t even an option. There was no doubt that she had wanted Olivia from the moment she had walked into the living room and seen her standing there like some goddess incarnate.
Keeping her gaze locked on Natalia, Olivia reached for the small metal tab of the zipper and began to pull it down. She only glanced away from Natalia once, when it snagged on the edge of the fabric and she had to free it. The soft snicking sound of the zipper sliding down was loud in the quiet room.
And there was no way that Natalia could just sit there and let Olivia have her way with her. Her hands itched to touch Olivia, ached to feel the softness of her skin and be close to her warmth. Natalia reached for Olivia, curling her hands around Olivia’s waist. Losing herself in the sensual feel of Olivia, Natalia let her hands slide further back and around until she was cupping Olivia’s tight, shapely rear in both hands. She gave it a light squeeze and Olivia dropped her head down to rest on Natalia’s shoulder.
“Impatient?” Olivia murmured, as she turned her head so that her lips were brushing against the base of Natalia’s neck. She pressed the faintest of kisses there and began to nip, nibble and kiss her way up Natalia’s neck, lavishing her with attention.
“For you?” Natalia gasped, sucking in a breath and tilting her head to give Olivia better access. “Always.”
Olivia let out a soft snort of laughter, the warmth of her breath brushing across the already sensitive skin of Natalia’s neck. It was more than Natalia could resist and she used the hold that she already had on Olivia to pull her forward, tugging her down, needing more contact - to feel Olivia against her.
With better leverage than she’d had before and Olivia unprepared, Olivia fell forward against Natalia, her knee landing between Natalia’s legs. Natalia gasped as Olivia’s knee pressed into her. She couldn’t help it. Just like she couldn’t help pressing back into that solid contact, grinding herself into Olivia. She ached; she needed; she wanted. And Olivia was the only one who could give it to her.
“Natalia.” Olivia managed to sound both chiding and breathy. “Let me. Please. I want to do this for you.” Olivia had said it before, more boldly and more definitively, but now she was asking again, pleading, almost begging with Natalia to let her have what she wanted.
It wasn’t that Natalia wanted to decline, but she had never had an offer like this before. Sex, of course, but not like this. Not what Olivia was proposing, this single-minded focus on her and her alone, catering her desires and making it something Natalia could scarcely imagine. It was almost overwhelming.
Olivia shifted her weight back so that she was balanced on her folded knee. The slight change in position pressed her a little harder against Natalia. That pressure - pressure that was in way mental but purely physical, the feel of their bodies pushing into one another made up Natalia’s mind for her.
Natalia bit her lip - and nodded. It was all the response she could muster. Tension seemed to slip out of Olivia - tension Natalia hadn’t even realized was there until it was gone. Something about her body loosened and she bent to kiss her. It was both gentle and consuming, but Natalia had scarcely had time to sink into it and kiss her back before Olivia was pulling away, Natalia’s hands sliding up Olivia’s body to rest on her shoulder as she slipped back, dropping to her knees in front of the chair.
The loss of contact made Natalia whimper and her hands lifted up to sink into Olivia’s hair, twining her fingers through silky strands until there was no way that Olivia could move further away. But Olivia wasn’t trying to, hooking her hands behind Natalia’s knees and pulling her forward, closer to the edge of the seat. The sudden movement startled Natalia and her hands clenched around the strands of hair she still held, the nearest thing for her to get a grip on.
Olivia flinched at the quick, sharp tug on her scalp, but didn’t protest, turning her head to place a placating kiss on Natalia’s knee. A kiss Natalia wished was on bare skin and not pressed against the material of her slacks. Then Olivia’s hands were snaking up her thighs, slipping under her hips and grabbing a handful of material. It only took one tug for Natalia to realize what Olivia was trying to do. She hurriedly jerked her hips up to help Olivia, who made short work of them.
Olivia didn’t pull them all the way off, but rather left them bunched around Natalia’s ankles. It made Natalia feel awkward, clumsy and a little bit uncomfortable, but Olivia didn’t seem to notice, her hands trailing up the back of Natalia’s legs, skimming up firm calves and then running over the top of smooth thighs, exerting gentle pressure, urging her to spread her legs a little bit wider. Natalia let her legs fall open and her eyes drift shut. Her hand trembled a little as she reached out to touch Olivia, searching blindly for contact and then finding her, cupping the base of Olivia’s head.
Olivia bent beneath her touch, already in motion. With Natalia’s eyes closed, the first brush of Olivia’s lips against her inner thigh came as a surprise. Natalia hissed in a sharp breath at the contact. It tickled and delighted. The faint hint of anxiety that had been building within her dissolved and she laughed. Her eyes flew open a second later as she realized how Olivia might have interpreted that. She certainly wasn’t laughing at her, but in the sheer joy of what they were about to do.
But when her eyes snapped open, Olivia was looking up at her, her eyes clear and bright, only a hint of something in them that Natalia couldn’t quite place. She tilted her head to the side, silently asking Olivia what was wrong.
“Later.” Olivia whispered. Whatever it was seemed contained and separate, pushed back from the moment that Olivia had so skillfully been building between them, and when their eyes met the connection between them was immediate and electric. It was unbroken as Olivia nuzzled into her.
Natalia’s whole body tensed at the first brush of Olivia’s tongue against her. “Good” somehow seemed like an insufficient word to describe how it felt; attentive, loving, and tender not nearly encompassing enough. Her hand sank into Olivia’s hair, her fingers once more tightening their grip on silky strands as she struggled for something, anything to hold on to as sensations built and overwhelmed her. She squirmed, not in an attempt to get away from the skillful ministrations of Olivia’s lips, tongue and delicate fingers but because she couldn’t stay still.
Olivia moved with her, not holding Natalia down, but accommodating her, bending to her every whim. Every instinct in Natalia’s body made her want to close her eyes - to savor everything that Olivia was doing to her, to focus on the pleasure that was building within. But she was helpless, caught up in the spell that Olivia was weaving around her. She couldn’t help but watch Olivia. The sight of her, bent forward, her head between Natalia’s legs was almost as much of a turn-on as what Olivia was doing. An unexpected wave of tenderness swept over Natalia just as Olivia did that thing with her tongue - Natalia nearly screamed, a strangled sound torn from her lips as her climax broke over her.
Spasms wracked her body until it left her spent and lax, the last few flicks of Olivia’s tongue enough to make her muscles jump as she eased back down.
“Olivia...” It was hard to push the familiar syllables past a tight throat and dry mouth. Natalia managed it anyway.
Olivia sat, her head pillowed on Natalia’s thigh, staring up at her with such love in her eyes that it made Natalia’s heart ache.
She forced herself out of the languid state in which she reclined and made her hand move, sifting through the delicate strands of Olivia’s hair until she was pushing them behind Olivia’s ear, cupping her head. Natalia used her grip to urge Olivia up. It took a moment, Olivia pushing herself up on knees that were stiff from having remained in one position for too long, but then Olivia was in front of her, their eyes level. Natalia let her hand slide down to cup Olivia’s jaw, her thumb stroking Olivia’s cheek, and looked into her eyes. There was no hurry, no answer that Natalia needed to find in them. She was content just to look and see, feeling the connection between them and taking it all in. They didn’t have to do anything else.
But Natalia drew Olivia down to kiss her anyway, because she wanted to. Tasting the sweetness of Olivia’s lips - and herself on them - was its own reward. They kissed gently until they separated and Natalia pressed her forehead against Olivia’s. It was their way of connecting, feeling close to one another and the feeling of intimacy and familiarity that it brought almost surpassed what they had just shared. For so long this was all they had. Now, there was more, but this was still comforting.
“Talk to me,” Natalia said.
Olivia shrugged and tried to sit back on her heels. Natalia wrapped her arms around Olivia’s shoulders and refused to let her go. Olivia huffed but didn’t try to pull away any more. She turned her face into Natalia’s shoulder.
“I miss you.” Olivia sounded impossibly small when she said. Natalia’s arms tightened around her. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She thought of when she had left without warning, feeling the pang of guilt that would always be there at the thought of the trust she had destroyed. It had been a thing of such purity and she - Natalia - had taken it for granted. It was being rebuilt between them - had already risen anew - but she no longer took it for granted. She sheltered it and nurtured it like the fragile, precious thing that it was.
Or so she thought.
Natalia’s heart began to pound at the thought that she had missed something, some sign that Olivia needed something that she couldn’t give.
“I know,” Olivia said. And then she repeated it. “I know. You’re not going anywhere.” Her thumb ran over the bare skin of Natalia’s thigh. It distracted Natalia momentarily, the sensation making her mentally stand at attention. She forced herself to focus.
“I’m not,” Natalia agreed. She bit her lip. “Did I do something-”
“No,” Olivia said without hesitation. She smiled up at Natalia. “I think I got used to having you here all the time, being with you all day after Sweet Pea was born.” Her head dropped again. “This last time we did this, you didn’t come. We didn’t even... Did I do something that you didn’t like? Did I-”
Natalia pressed her thumb against Olivia’s lips, stopping her before she could say anything else.
“No, Sweetheart. No. Don’t even think that. You were - are - wonderful.” She smiled and couldn’t quite keep it from trembling. “I...” This was the part that was frightening, talking about herself and sharing. It was something that had been hard for her to get used to. She had spent Rafe’s entire life with no one to confide in. Now it was more a habit than not. Olivia had gotten under her skin. She simply understood Natalia in ways that Natalia had never imagined anyone could, but sometimes it was still a struggle to put those feelings into words when Olivia didn’t understand. “Olivia, that wasn’t about you.”
“Right,” Olivia said, but Natalia knew she didn’t quite believe it.
“No,” Natalia said firmly. “Not right. I enjoy sex.” Olivia’s head shot up so quickly that Natalia couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay. I know that.” A smug smile flickered across Olivia’s face to be replaced by confusion. “But then...”
“When it’s right.”
Olivia looked stricken again.
Natalia wrapped her legs around the back of Olivia’s thighs. “With Frank...” She shivered. “It wasn’t. And that was my fault. I thought it was with Gus. After we were married.” She bit her lip. “And maybe before. Even though I knew it wasn’t. I enjoyed it, in the moment, because I thought he was the one I should be with.
But I was wrong. Being with Gus is nothing like being with you.”
Olivia was barely breathing.
"Being with you is better - more pure. And the other night, when we...the first time after Francesca, it wasn’t right. Not because of you. Me. I couldn’t relax. I didn’t feel...right. Comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t... I wanted to be beautiful for you; I wanted to be perfect. But I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t feel sexy or...or worthy.” Her voice lowered. “And then, all I could think about was how much I hurt you and how good you are to me, to Francesca, Rafe. All of us. You give me so much love. And I couldn’t...I just couldn’t.”
"You're wrong,” Olivia said slowly.
"What?" Natalia wasn't following her.
"You are beautiful and I'm the one who's not worthy of you," Olivia whispered.
Natalia's heart broke. "No." She drew Olivia's chin up. "We were made for each other. You show me that every day."
"Yeah?" The hint of roughness in Olivia's voice reassured Natalia that she would be all right. It was almost teasing.
"Oh yeah." Natalia agreed with a nod.
"So I take it that means you liked your welcome home?"
Natalia grinned, her smile belying her next words. "It wasn't bad." Then her look turned mischievous. "Does this mean you're going to do chores around the house more often now?"
Olivia gave her a languid smile, full of heat and want. "Maybe."
Natalia couldn't help but laugh. Olivia braced her hands on Natalia's thighs and pushed herself to her feet.
"Hey," Natalia said a hint of complaint in her voice. "Where are you going?"
Olivia gave her a bemused smile. "To get a glass of water. I'll be back."
"Good. I have plans for you." Natalia watched her walk towards the kitchen entranced by the swing of her hips. "Olivia?"
Olivia stopped and glanced back over her shoulder at her, an eyebrow arched in question.
Natalia's brilliant smile flashed dimples. "I loved it. I love you."
(2/5)