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Title: July 5th
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Rafe Rivera, Blake Marler, Frank Cooper
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17 eventually, with mostly PG-13 stuff for now.
Word count: 36,471 (total)
Summary: It's the fifth of July. What will Natalia do?
Spoilers/Timeline Spoilers for everything through July 9th. Goes off canon after that.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: A quick clarification about the timeline. I was in a hurry when I posted the dates and I goofed. I should have said that it goes off canon as of the July 6th shows, which as close as I can figure is actually the fifth of July because stuff is taking place the morning after the barbecue. Which might give a clue as to the title.
Beta: Many thanks to aimlessla for looking over this massive thing for me, pointing out plot holes and my constant comma issues.
Part One || Part Two
Part Three
Natalia woke to the mid-morning sun pouring in through the small window. She rubbed her eyes and put her feet over the side of the bed, sitting up slowly. She had only slept so late once before, that she could remember. She had been sixteen; old enough that her mother expected her to get to school with no promptings or reminders from her. Natalia had woken up from a dead sleep at ten-thirty in the morning only to realize to her horror, that she had missed the first several periods of school. It was the first and last time that had ever happened. And, although she hadn’t known it at the time, she had been pregnant then too.
Her hand touched her stomach, her first thought, the baby. Her second was Olivia. That sparked something, and her dream came back to her in an instant. The fogginess of sleep vanished; Natalia straightened. Her hand flew to her face.
“Oh, God.” How could she have forgotten her dream and Olivia? She hadn’t been thinking about Olivia at all in her rush to get out of town. She hadn’t considered what Olivia would think when she didn’t show up at the barbecue. Now it was all she could think about. Natalia could imagine Olivia’s devastation and panic when Natalia didn’t show up. Olivia would have no idea why she wasn’t there. The last time she had spoken to Olivia, she had told Olivia she loved her. Olivia didn’t know that anything was wrong and she had left Olivia - just like everyone else had.
Oh, God, what had she done?
Without a conscious decision, Natalia stood up and began to throw the few things that she had brought with her back into her bag. Out of habit she started to tidy, the bag and then stopped mid-motion. Not today. She didn’t have time for that; she needed to get back to Olivia.
Natalia pulled open her door and almost ran into the diminutive Sister Mary Francis.
“Sister, I didn’t see you.” Natalia shook her head, flustered by her unexpected presence. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Go, dear? Where are you going? The seminars are purely elective. This is a place for spiritual reflection, however you may achieve that. We are here to guide you and help you, but there is no set path that you must follow.”
“I’m sorry,” Natalia said, apologizing again. “I can’t...I’m not...I have to go.”
“Is something wrong? Has something happened? It’s usually not best to leave until these things are clear in your mind.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. Coming here just made it worse.” Natalia said, emphatically.
“I’m sure that’s not the case. You must have had a good reason to come here.”
“I did, but-” Natalia’s voice broke. “But I shouldn’t have come the way I did. I left...someone, without telling them why I was leaving and where I was going. I shouldn’t have done that to her. I have to fix it.”
“Her, dear?” Sister Mary Francis asked with a gentle but knowing tone. “Is that what you came here to find answers about?”
“No.” Natalia shook her head. “Yes.” But that wasn’t quite right either. “My baby. It doesn’t matter. I have to go back before it’s too late.”
“Of course you may go, dear, but have you come to a resolution for any of your problems? If you leave without having that, nothing will be any different. Nothing will ever change.”
For the first time, her words made Natalia hesitate. She needed to get back to Olivia, that was true. Natalia needed to fix her mistakes. But she was still pregnant with Frank’s baby; that hadn’t changed. She would still - somehow - have to tell Olivia about it. And she still didn’t know what was right. She just knew that staying here, hurting Olivia more with each passing moment wasn’t right.
She just needed Olivia. Not to fix everything or make all her problems go away, but because Olivia was who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She needed to try, at least, to make things right with Olivia before she worried about anything else. Olivia deserved that and more. Natalia just wasn’t sure that she would be capable of giving Olivia everything she deserved.
Natalia wasn’t the woman that she thought she had been - a single mom of a son, who while still troubled, was doing better, trying to pull his life together. For the first time in her life, she owned a home. She had a single job that was enough to support them both and that she could be proud of.
Now, she was a scared, pregnant, unmarried and working at a part-time job with no benefits. How familiar that felt. There was nothing wrong with that, but there was nothing right with it either. It had felt so good to have something to be proud of. She could never equal Olivia’s money or status, but she hadn’t been ashamed of what she had either.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Natalia admitted softly. “I feel like, I haven’t made this big of a mistake in years, but I do know that staying here isn’t going to make it better. It’s only going to make it worse. I have to go back and face what I’ve done. I can’t...nothing will be right until I do that.”
Sister Mary Francis looked at her for a moment. The way she seemed to be looking into Natalia was unsettling. “Then, if that is the way that you feel, go with God.” She hesitated for a moment. “Is your friend coming back to pick you up?”
“Uh...” Natalia hadn’t thought that far but there was no way she could ask Blake to come and pick her up today. Not after she had driven her so far the day before at no more than a moment’s notice. “No, I don’t think so. I should call a cab.”
“That’s a good idea,” Sister Mary Francis said, touching Natalia’s elbow briefly. “Why don’t you do that and then we’ll get you something to eat before they get here. You need to keep your strength up.” She patted Natalia’s arm again. “For you and for your child.”
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Rafe Rivera, Blake Marler, Frank Cooper
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17 eventually, with mostly PG-13 stuff for now.
Word count: 36,471 (total)
Summary: It's the fifth of July. What will Natalia do?
Spoilers/Timeline Spoilers for everything through July 9th. Goes off canon after that.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: A quick clarification about the timeline. I was in a hurry when I posted the dates and I goofed. I should have said that it goes off canon as of the July 6th shows, which as close as I can figure is actually the fifth of July because stuff is taking place the morning after the barbecue. Which might give a clue as to the title.
Beta: Many thanks to aimlessla for looking over this massive thing for me, pointing out plot holes and my constant comma issues.
Part One || Part Two
Part Three
Natalia woke to the mid-morning sun pouring in through the small window. She rubbed her eyes and put her feet over the side of the bed, sitting up slowly. She had only slept so late once before, that she could remember. She had been sixteen; old enough that her mother expected her to get to school with no promptings or reminders from her. Natalia had woken up from a dead sleep at ten-thirty in the morning only to realize to her horror, that she had missed the first several periods of school. It was the first and last time that had ever happened. And, although she hadn’t known it at the time, she had been pregnant then too.
Her hand touched her stomach, her first thought, the baby. Her second was Olivia. That sparked something, and her dream came back to her in an instant. The fogginess of sleep vanished; Natalia straightened. Her hand flew to her face.
“Oh, God.” How could she have forgotten her dream and Olivia? She hadn’t been thinking about Olivia at all in her rush to get out of town. She hadn’t considered what Olivia would think when she didn’t show up at the barbecue. Now it was all she could think about. Natalia could imagine Olivia’s devastation and panic when Natalia didn’t show up. Olivia would have no idea why she wasn’t there. The last time she had spoken to Olivia, she had told Olivia she loved her. Olivia didn’t know that anything was wrong and she had left Olivia - just like everyone else had.
Oh, God, what had she done?
Without a conscious decision, Natalia stood up and began to throw the few things that she had brought with her back into her bag. Out of habit she started to tidy, the bag and then stopped mid-motion. Not today. She didn’t have time for that; she needed to get back to Olivia.
Natalia pulled open her door and almost ran into the diminutive Sister Mary Francis.
“Sister, I didn’t see you.” Natalia shook her head, flustered by her unexpected presence. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Go, dear? Where are you going? The seminars are purely elective. This is a place for spiritual reflection, however you may achieve that. We are here to guide you and help you, but there is no set path that you must follow.”
“I’m sorry,” Natalia said, apologizing again. “I can’t...I’m not...I have to go.”
“Is something wrong? Has something happened? It’s usually not best to leave until these things are clear in your mind.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. Coming here just made it worse.” Natalia said, emphatically.
“I’m sure that’s not the case. You must have had a good reason to come here.”
“I did, but-” Natalia’s voice broke. “But I shouldn’t have come the way I did. I left...someone, without telling them why I was leaving and where I was going. I shouldn’t have done that to her. I have to fix it.”
“Her, dear?” Sister Mary Francis asked with a gentle but knowing tone. “Is that what you came here to find answers about?”
“No.” Natalia shook her head. “Yes.” But that wasn’t quite right either. “My baby. It doesn’t matter. I have to go back before it’s too late.”
“Of course you may go, dear, but have you come to a resolution for any of your problems? If you leave without having that, nothing will be any different. Nothing will ever change.”
For the first time, her words made Natalia hesitate. She needed to get back to Olivia, that was true. Natalia needed to fix her mistakes. But she was still pregnant with Frank’s baby; that hadn’t changed. She would still - somehow - have to tell Olivia about it. And she still didn’t know what was right. She just knew that staying here, hurting Olivia more with each passing moment wasn’t right.
She just needed Olivia. Not to fix everything or make all her problems go away, but because Olivia was who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She needed to try, at least, to make things right with Olivia before she worried about anything else. Olivia deserved that and more. Natalia just wasn’t sure that she would be capable of giving Olivia everything she deserved.
Natalia wasn’t the woman that she thought she had been - a single mom of a son, who while still troubled, was doing better, trying to pull his life together. For the first time in her life, she owned a home. She had a single job that was enough to support them both and that she could be proud of.
Now, she was a scared, pregnant, unmarried and working at a part-time job with no benefits. How familiar that felt. There was nothing wrong with that, but there was nothing right with it either. It had felt so good to have something to be proud of. She could never equal Olivia’s money or status, but she hadn’t been ashamed of what she had either.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Natalia admitted softly. “I feel like, I haven’t made this big of a mistake in years, but I do know that staying here isn’t going to make it better. It’s only going to make it worse. I have to go back and face what I’ve done. I can’t...nothing will be right until I do that.”
Sister Mary Francis looked at her for a moment. The way she seemed to be looking into Natalia was unsettling. “Then, if that is the way that you feel, go with God.” She hesitated for a moment. “Is your friend coming back to pick you up?”
“Uh...” Natalia hadn’t thought that far but there was no way she could ask Blake to come and pick her up today. Not after she had driven her so far the day before at no more than a moment’s notice. “No, I don’t think so. I should call a cab.”
“That’s a good idea,” Sister Mary Francis said, touching Natalia’s elbow briefly. “Why don’t you do that and then we’ll get you something to eat before they get here. You need to keep your strength up.” She patted Natalia’s arm again. “For you and for your child.”
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