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Title: Even If It Killed Her
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1,652
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I'm so far behind on replies, you guys. I'm sorry. I'll try to get to it this weekend. So tired right now.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine || Part Ten || Part Eleven || Part Twelve || Part Thirteen || Part Fourteen || Part Fifteen || Part Sixteen || Part Seventeen || Part Eighteen || Part Nineteen || Part Twenty
Relatively important information: If you noticed some change with the chapter number up there, you're not going crazy. I added a part. Unlike most authors, I did not add the part at the end. I got a pm yesterday with someone who was kind enough to hand out some constructive criticism and also point out some flaws and plot holes in my previous post. I had already been having some of the same issues with that particular scene, so I went back and fixed it and added a new post. You can find the part I added by clicking on Part Nineteen above and it will take you to the new stuff.
Part Twenty-One
Olivia was five minutes early when she pulled into the farmhouse's driveway. In truth she had first pulled up to the driveway almost an hour before, unaccustomed jitters driving her out of the Beacon well before she should have left. She had spent the intervening time driving around out in the general vicinity of the farmhouse, staring at fallow fields and brown pastures until she couldn't stand it any longer and had gone back to Natalia's.
The short walk from her car to the porch seemed to take forever. Her palms were sweating, which was odd considering that it was still cold out, and her heart was beating wildly. She pressed her hand against her chest, willing it to slow. She hated the panic-y out of control feeling that it brought with it. She hated showing this weakness, even to Natalia who had seen it - seen her - more than anyone.
The cold, jagged edges of the keys on her key ring bit into her palm as her hand clenched rhythmically around them. Among them was a key to the door in front of her. She had never given it back when she and Emma had moved out, keeping it as some small act of defiance. Natalia had never asked for it back. Olivia had wondered if that was on purpose or if Natalia had simply forgotten that she had it.
It would be so much easier to use it now to unlock the door and let herself in than to knock and wait for Natalia to come and answer the door. Coming in without Natalia's express permission didn't feel right this time though, like it broke some unwritten rule of dating, no matter that she had lived here for months. Maybe that was why this felt so awkward. They had done this all backwards. Most people started dating before they knew one another well. She and Natalia had grown almost as close as it was possible for two people to be without taking their relationship to that next level and now, here they were starting over again. It felt strange and nerve-racking because they were changing things and if not looking at each other in new ways - then admitting that there was more between them than just friendship. That changed everything.
Olivia forced herself to raise her hand and knock, and then to not pace the length of the porch until Natalia answered the door. But Natalia didn't come. There was no sound of approaching footsteps and the door didn't swing open. She was gripped with a split-second of panic of a totally different kind. She hadn't heard anything from Natalia since that morning, since before she had gone to the courthouse to face Frank for a final time. So many things could have changed between then and now. Rafe could have begged Natalia to reconsider. Natalia could have decided what she was getting herself into was just too much to deal with.
"Come on in!" The words were muted by the distance and the door standing between them, but they were more than enough to jerk Olivia out of her fear-induced stupor. Her hand went to the door and she let herself in as Natalia's voice drifted down the stairs again. "I'll be down in just a minute."
Olivia's relief was so great that she almost didn't mind being forced to wait again to see Natalia. She took in the familiar living room, her attention drawn to the little changes almost immediately. A pair of shoes, too large, dirty, and manly to be Natalia's were dumped in front of the couch. A set of keys on an unfamiliar key chain lay on the coffee table next to an equally unfamiliar cell phone. All Rafe's things, Olivia presumed. She had never seen any of Frank's influence there and she was glad of it now.
The heavy thud of feet rushing down the stairs jerked her attention away. She knew immediately that it wasn't Natalia coming down the stairs, no matter how her heart had leaped for that initial second before her mind had caught up.
Rafe slowed as he reached the bottom of the steps, swinging around to give her a look that wasn't quite a glare. Olivia smiled. She had years of practice at showing emotions that she didn't actually feel.
"Rafe."
He didn't respond at first and she thought he might not at all. It was juvenile and petty, even for Rafe, but finally he looked up at her.
"What do you want?" He was trying to sound mean and tough, but she had never been afraid of Rafe, not even when he had been at his angriest. He might have gone to prison on charges of attempted murder but he wasn't the most dangerous person in the room.
She had a feeling - to take your mother out on a date - wasn't what he wanted to hear. Then Olivia caught on. She raised an eyebrow and tried to stifle her amusement. Rafe wouldn't think it was funny at all.
"Are you asking about my intentions toward your mother?"
He shrugged roughly. "What do you want from her? It doesn't make sense." He wrapped his arms around his chest, tucking his hands under his arms.
"What doesn't?" Olivia asked.
"She doesn't have anything you could want," Rafe exclaimed. "She doesn't have any money or power or, or anything! You already took everything else she had from her. Now you want her...why?"
"I don't need any of that. I already have money and power." She debated for a moment about whether to continue, but this was Rafe, Natalia's son. "All I want is for her to be happy."
Rafe snorted, scoffing in disbelief. "Yeah, right. And I'm a friggin' saint."
Involuntarily Olivia's jaw clenched. "Don't let her hear you talking like that," Olivia said with deceptive casualness and a nod of her head toward the stairs.
"What do you care?" Rafe retorted.
"Because she won't like it and she raised you better than that."
"Still none of your business," Rafe said, belligerently.
"You're right," Olivia said with a small nod. Then she sighed. She was already getting tired of doing this dance with Rafe. She glanced up the stairs, listening intently for a moment. When she heard and saw nothing she took a step closer to Rafe. "You have a problem with me. Why don't you go ahead and say what you want to say?"
Rafe stared at her warily.
"One time only offer, Rafe, and it runs out when your mother gets down those stairs." Surely it had been five minutes already. Surely Natalia would be ready soon.
"You're using her, and one day when you have what you want you're going to throw her away. You're going to hurt her and I hate that. I won't let it happen. You hear me, Olivia?"
Instead of angry, all Olivia felt was deflated. "I hear you, Rafe." All she saw when she looked at him was Gus. It was too bad all he saw when he looked at her was the enemy. She would change that though. She would spend the rest of her life proving to him just how much she loved Natalia and eventually she hoped he would see just how wrong he was. "But I'm not going to stop." Every word was filled with certainty. "As long as Natalia wants me here, I won't be anywhere else."
Rafe looked as if he was about to make another angry retort when they both heard Natalia coming down the stairs. He turned away scooping the keys and phone up off the coffee table and then caught a glimpse of Natalia as she reached the bottom.
"Ma...you look..." He shook his head. He had seen his mother dressed up plenty of times before, but he could never remember seeing the glow of happiness around her like this, not even when she had married Gus. Anger flashed through him again as he thought of Olivia standing behind him. There was nothing he could do now, nothing that wouldn't result in Natalia being angry at him and defending Olivia. The only thing he could do was hope that Olivia wasn't lying, that for just one time in her life she was actually telling the truth, because it was undeniable. Natalia was happier than he had ever seen her. Happy enough that he almost hoped he was wrong about Olivia. "Can I take your car tonight? I'm supposed to meet up with Daisy and Ash."
Worry flitted over Natalia's face and Rafe felt a familiar sense of irritation. "I'm not going to get in trouble," he said indignantly. "What do you think I'm stupid? We're just gonna watch a movie and hang out." He stepped forward to kiss Natalia on the cheek. "I'll be an angel. Promise." He flashed her a smile and he could almost see the moment she relented with a nod of her head.
"Don't stay out too late." Natalia called after him, but he was already practically out the door.
Then she turned to face Olivia.
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1,652
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I'm so far behind on replies, you guys. I'm sorry. I'll try to get to it this weekend. So tired right now.
Beta:
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic. Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Part Nine || Part Ten || Part Eleven || Part Twelve || Part Thirteen || Part Fourteen || Part Fifteen || Part Sixteen || Part Seventeen || Part Eighteen || Part Nineteen || Part Twenty
Relatively important information: If you noticed some change with the chapter number up there, you're not going crazy. I added a part. Unlike most authors, I did not add the part at the end. I got a pm yesterday with someone who was kind enough to hand out some constructive criticism and also point out some flaws and plot holes in my previous post. I had already been having some of the same issues with that particular scene, so I went back and fixed it and added a new post. You can find the part I added by clicking on Part Nineteen above and it will take you to the new stuff.
Part Twenty-One
Olivia was five minutes early when she pulled into the farmhouse's driveway. In truth she had first pulled up to the driveway almost an hour before, unaccustomed jitters driving her out of the Beacon well before she should have left. She had spent the intervening time driving around out in the general vicinity of the farmhouse, staring at fallow fields and brown pastures until she couldn't stand it any longer and had gone back to Natalia's.
The short walk from her car to the porch seemed to take forever. Her palms were sweating, which was odd considering that it was still cold out, and her heart was beating wildly. She pressed her hand against her chest, willing it to slow. She hated the panic-y out of control feeling that it brought with it. She hated showing this weakness, even to Natalia who had seen it - seen her - more than anyone.
The cold, jagged edges of the keys on her key ring bit into her palm as her hand clenched rhythmically around them. Among them was a key to the door in front of her. She had never given it back when she and Emma had moved out, keeping it as some small act of defiance. Natalia had never asked for it back. Olivia had wondered if that was on purpose or if Natalia had simply forgotten that she had it.
It would be so much easier to use it now to unlock the door and let herself in than to knock and wait for Natalia to come and answer the door. Coming in without Natalia's express permission didn't feel right this time though, like it broke some unwritten rule of dating, no matter that she had lived here for months. Maybe that was why this felt so awkward. They had done this all backwards. Most people started dating before they knew one another well. She and Natalia had grown almost as close as it was possible for two people to be without taking their relationship to that next level and now, here they were starting over again. It felt strange and nerve-racking because they were changing things and if not looking at each other in new ways - then admitting that there was more between them than just friendship. That changed everything.
Olivia forced herself to raise her hand and knock, and then to not pace the length of the porch until Natalia answered the door. But Natalia didn't come. There was no sound of approaching footsteps and the door didn't swing open. She was gripped with a split-second of panic of a totally different kind. She hadn't heard anything from Natalia since that morning, since before she had gone to the courthouse to face Frank for a final time. So many things could have changed between then and now. Rafe could have begged Natalia to reconsider. Natalia could have decided what she was getting herself into was just too much to deal with.
"Come on in!" The words were muted by the distance and the door standing between them, but they were more than enough to jerk Olivia out of her fear-induced stupor. Her hand went to the door and she let herself in as Natalia's voice drifted down the stairs again. "I'll be down in just a minute."
Olivia's relief was so great that she almost didn't mind being forced to wait again to see Natalia. She took in the familiar living room, her attention drawn to the little changes almost immediately. A pair of shoes, too large, dirty, and manly to be Natalia's were dumped in front of the couch. A set of keys on an unfamiliar key chain lay on the coffee table next to an equally unfamiliar cell phone. All Rafe's things, Olivia presumed. She had never seen any of Frank's influence there and she was glad of it now.
The heavy thud of feet rushing down the stairs jerked her attention away. She knew immediately that it wasn't Natalia coming down the stairs, no matter how her heart had leaped for that initial second before her mind had caught up.
Rafe slowed as he reached the bottom of the steps, swinging around to give her a look that wasn't quite a glare. Olivia smiled. She had years of practice at showing emotions that she didn't actually feel.
"Rafe."
He didn't respond at first and she thought he might not at all. It was juvenile and petty, even for Rafe, but finally he looked up at her.
"What do you want?" He was trying to sound mean and tough, but she had never been afraid of Rafe, not even when he had been at his angriest. He might have gone to prison on charges of attempted murder but he wasn't the most dangerous person in the room.
She had a feeling - to take your mother out on a date - wasn't what he wanted to hear. Then Olivia caught on. She raised an eyebrow and tried to stifle her amusement. Rafe wouldn't think it was funny at all.
"Are you asking about my intentions toward your mother?"
He shrugged roughly. "What do you want from her? It doesn't make sense." He wrapped his arms around his chest, tucking his hands under his arms.
"What doesn't?" Olivia asked.
"She doesn't have anything you could want," Rafe exclaimed. "She doesn't have any money or power or, or anything! You already took everything else she had from her. Now you want her...why?"
"I don't need any of that. I already have money and power." She debated for a moment about whether to continue, but this was Rafe, Natalia's son. "All I want is for her to be happy."
Rafe snorted, scoffing in disbelief. "Yeah, right. And I'm a friggin' saint."
Involuntarily Olivia's jaw clenched. "Don't let her hear you talking like that," Olivia said with deceptive casualness and a nod of her head toward the stairs.
"What do you care?" Rafe retorted.
"Because she won't like it and she raised you better than that."
"Still none of your business," Rafe said, belligerently.
"You're right," Olivia said with a small nod. Then she sighed. She was already getting tired of doing this dance with Rafe. She glanced up the stairs, listening intently for a moment. When she heard and saw nothing she took a step closer to Rafe. "You have a problem with me. Why don't you go ahead and say what you want to say?"
Rafe stared at her warily.
"One time only offer, Rafe, and it runs out when your mother gets down those stairs." Surely it had been five minutes already. Surely Natalia would be ready soon.
"You're using her, and one day when you have what you want you're going to throw her away. You're going to hurt her and I hate that. I won't let it happen. You hear me, Olivia?"
Instead of angry, all Olivia felt was deflated. "I hear you, Rafe." All she saw when she looked at him was Gus. It was too bad all he saw when he looked at her was the enemy. She would change that though. She would spend the rest of her life proving to him just how much she loved Natalia and eventually she hoped he would see just how wrong he was. "But I'm not going to stop." Every word was filled with certainty. "As long as Natalia wants me here, I won't be anywhere else."
Rafe looked as if he was about to make another angry retort when they both heard Natalia coming down the stairs. He turned away scooping the keys and phone up off the coffee table and then caught a glimpse of Natalia as she reached the bottom.
"Ma...you look..." He shook his head. He had seen his mother dressed up plenty of times before, but he could never remember seeing the glow of happiness around her like this, not even when she had married Gus. Anger flashed through him again as he thought of Olivia standing behind him. There was nothing he could do now, nothing that wouldn't result in Natalia being angry at him and defending Olivia. The only thing he could do was hope that Olivia wasn't lying, that for just one time in her life she was actually telling the truth, because it was undeniable. Natalia was happier than he had ever seen her. Happy enough that he almost hoped he was wrong about Olivia. "Can I take your car tonight? I'm supposed to meet up with Daisy and Ash."
Worry flitted over Natalia's face and Rafe felt a familiar sense of irritation. "I'm not going to get in trouble," he said indignantly. "What do you think I'm stupid? We're just gonna watch a movie and hang out." He stepped forward to kiss Natalia on the cheek. "I'll be an angel. Promise." He flashed her a smile and he could almost see the moment she relented with a nod of her head.
"Don't stay out too late." Natalia called after him, but he was already practically out the door.
Then she turned to face Olivia.
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