![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Even If It Killed Her
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1161
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I see you there, sitting behind your computer, wondering why I'm posting this when I haven't even finished The Importance of Family yet. And you're right, but I'm still putting the finishing touches on that one, and this is all finished. It's sitting here on my computer, staring at me, daring me to post it. So posting it, I am.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Important Announcement: I haven't mentioned it much here, but as some of you probably know I've been going through some family stuff of late, a divorce between my brother and my best friend, which as you can imagine puts me in a pretty crappy position, not to mention how they feel about it. For various reasons it looks like I'm driving out to pick him up tomorrow, so the daily posting schedule will be interrupted for tomorrow and the day after. I will try to get an update posted early tomorrow morning before I leave, but that may or may not happen.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight
Part Nine
"Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight at the farmhouse? It will be great - just the four of us."
In all honesty, a root canal, sans any numbing, sounded more appealing to Olivia at the moment. Spending the day around Natalia had been awkward enough. The mix of emotions she felt around Natalia was disorienting: a sense of joy that couldn't be suppressed, followed by a chaser of guilt for having feelings Natalia clearly didn't share, with a dash of lust for some extra awkwardness, and a deep sense of sadness because now she finally knew for certain that Natalia didn't love her, not the way she loved Natalia. Having to watch Frank and Natalia act like a happy, just-married couple was hard enough, having to do it within the familiar, welcoming confines of the home that was no longer theirs would just be too much.
“Frank,” Natalia spoke admonishingly before Olivia could begin to frame a polite refusal. “I’m sure they already have plans for tonight. Maybe another time.”
Olivia did not, in fact, have plans for that evening but she wasn’t about to let the truth get in the way of a perfectly good excuse, not when Natalia had so gracefully handed it to her.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Frank,” she agreed, trying to muster an apologetic smile when all she felt was relieved. “But I don’t think we’re going to be able to make it. Like you said,” she added with a tip of her head to Natalia. “Maybe we can do it another time.”
“But, Mommy,” Emma cut in, tugging at her mother’s hand. “All we were going to do tonight was order room service and watch TV and we do that every night. Can’t we go to Natalia’s and eat dinner, just this once?” She gave Olivia her best pleading look. “I really miss the ducks. I haven’t seen them in forever.”
Forever being a week and a half.
Olivia flushed, resisting the urge to be angry at Emma. It wasn’t fair to her. She didn’t realize her Mommy was in love with her best friend and that it was practically torment to be around her. All Emma knew was that she missed her other Mommy and the first home that she had ever known. Olivia couldn’t blame her for that; she understood how Emma felt perfectly.
“You really want to, Em?” She tried one last time to get out of it, knowing even as she asked what the answer would be.
“Yes, please, Mommy!”
“Okay,” Olivia relented, giving in to the inevitable and turning her attention back to Natalia and Frank. Or rather a point just over Frank’s other shoulder, not quite meeting his eyes and on the other side from Natalia. “I guess if the offer’s still open we would love to take you up on it.”
Frank grinned, clearly pleased with the events that he had orchestrated. “Absolutely. You’re welcome any time.”
Olivia almost snorted. She wondered how Frank would feel if she really did take him up on that. Probably not so happy, but then they wouldn’t get to find out because there was no way that she was putting herself through this on a regular basis.
“Great. I’ll bring the Goose.”
“Olivia,” Natalia admonished her gently.
“What? It’s not polite to show up empty handed.”
Olivia thought she saw Natalia roll her eyes and wondered if Frank had caught that little gesture. How surprised would he be if she kept pushing Natalia’s buttons? She knew Natalia wasn’t in love with her, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t get under Natalia’s skin faster than anyone else she had ever seen, and Natalia's reactions had always been a thing of beauty, when she had deigned to respond. But Olivia wasn’t going to play games with Natalia. Olivia had sworn that when she fell in love again she would do it all differently, and she had meant it. She would let Natalia go and refrain from punching her shoulder like a little boy on a playground who didn’t know any other way to express his feelings.
*** *** ***
“Have a seat anywhere,” Frank said, gesturing at the couch and easy chairs spread across the living room. “Can I get you anything? How about a beer?”
Beer sounded good. A martini sounded better. Punching Frank in the face for treating her like this hadn’t been her home just a short time ago sounded like the best idea she’d had all night.
Unfortunately she didn’t think Natalia would approve.
“No.” Olivia said with a forced smile. “I’m good.” She sat down on the couch, perching gingerly on the edge and crossing her legs. She tried not to think about sitting in this very spot and holding Natalia as she cried her heart out over sleeping with Frank. That way lay madness.
“Good, good.” Frank said, dropping into the nearest easy chair, his hand automatically going to the remote that rested on the arm of the chair.
Olivia wished that Emma would hurry back down soon. She had insisted on going upstairs to check on her old room and Olivia missed her presence already. This was more excruciating than the dinner with the Xiaos and Decker before Natalia had worked her miracles.
“Looking for a house, huh?” Frank asked rhetorically.
“I like living at the Beacon,” Olivia said, and once upon a time that had even been true, but now…now it was a different story. Not that she expected to feel differently in a new house. “If it was just me, I wouldn’t bother, but Emma’s gotten used to having a house and yard to run around in.”
Frank grinned. “Every kid should have a yard,” he agreed. “I’m sorry the two of you had to move out so quickly, but you know how it is when you love someone so much. You just have to be with them.”
She couldn’t do this. If she had to sit here and listen to Frank rhapsodize about Natalia all night there would be vomit and homicide. Probably in that order. Damn it, did he have to rub it in? If it had been anyone but Frank, she would have sworn that he knew and he was torturing her on purpose. As it was, it was just an unhappy coincidence, the sort of thing that only happened to Olivia Spencer. Wasn’t she just the luckiest girl in the whole world?
Biting back the hurt that welled up within her and the old familiar habits that it brought with it, Olivia forced herself to smile at him. “I remember how it is.” She hesitated. “You’re a very lucky man, Frankie. Don’t forget it.” She said it calmly and quietly, but there was no mistaking the subtle threat in her words.
If she couldn’t have Natalia, then she would make damn sure that Frank didn’t screw this up.
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Frank Cooper, Emma Spencer, Blake Marler, Rafe Rivera
Category: Angst, with a side of angst. Romance.
Rating: Eventually NC-17, though for most of it, it could probably past for oh, PG probably.
Word count: 1161
Summary: Olivia will do whatever is necessary to make Natalia happy, even if it kills her.
Spoilers: Takes place around late April, early May '09, and contains spoilers for all events therein.
Author's Note: I see you there, sitting behind your computer, wondering why I'm posting this when I haven't even finished The Importance of Family yet. And you're right, but I'm still putting the finishing touches on that one, and this is all finished. It's sitting here on my computer, staring at me, daring me to post it. So posting it, I am.
Beta:
jlynxi was awesome enough to beta this for me. It's very much appreciated because I know this is a lot of fic! And I should definitely give a big shout out to rysler for letting me bounce ideas off of her throughout the whole process of writing this fic. Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Ava Peralta, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
And really I only have one more thing to say, but I think ya'll are going to like it: daily posts!
Important Announcement: I haven't mentioned it much here, but as some of you probably know I've been going through some family stuff of late, a divorce between my brother and my best friend, which as you can imagine puts me in a pretty crappy position, not to mention how they feel about it. For various reasons it looks like I'm driving out to pick him up tomorrow, so the daily posting schedule will be interrupted for tomorrow and the day after. I will try to get an update posted early tomorrow morning before I leave, but that may or may not happen.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight
Part Nine
"Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight at the farmhouse? It will be great - just the four of us."
In all honesty, a root canal, sans any numbing, sounded more appealing to Olivia at the moment. Spending the day around Natalia had been awkward enough. The mix of emotions she felt around Natalia was disorienting: a sense of joy that couldn't be suppressed, followed by a chaser of guilt for having feelings Natalia clearly didn't share, with a dash of lust for some extra awkwardness, and a deep sense of sadness because now she finally knew for certain that Natalia didn't love her, not the way she loved Natalia. Having to watch Frank and Natalia act like a happy, just-married couple was hard enough, having to do it within the familiar, welcoming confines of the home that was no longer theirs would just be too much.
“Frank,” Natalia spoke admonishingly before Olivia could begin to frame a polite refusal. “I’m sure they already have plans for tonight. Maybe another time.”
Olivia did not, in fact, have plans for that evening but she wasn’t about to let the truth get in the way of a perfectly good excuse, not when Natalia had so gracefully handed it to her.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Frank,” she agreed, trying to muster an apologetic smile when all she felt was relieved. “But I don’t think we’re going to be able to make it. Like you said,” she added with a tip of her head to Natalia. “Maybe we can do it another time.”
“But, Mommy,” Emma cut in, tugging at her mother’s hand. “All we were going to do tonight was order room service and watch TV and we do that every night. Can’t we go to Natalia’s and eat dinner, just this once?” She gave Olivia her best pleading look. “I really miss the ducks. I haven’t seen them in forever.”
Forever being a week and a half.
Olivia flushed, resisting the urge to be angry at Emma. It wasn’t fair to her. She didn’t realize her Mommy was in love with her best friend and that it was practically torment to be around her. All Emma knew was that she missed her other Mommy and the first home that she had ever known. Olivia couldn’t blame her for that; she understood how Emma felt perfectly.
“You really want to, Em?” She tried one last time to get out of it, knowing even as she asked what the answer would be.
“Yes, please, Mommy!”
“Okay,” Olivia relented, giving in to the inevitable and turning her attention back to Natalia and Frank. Or rather a point just over Frank’s other shoulder, not quite meeting his eyes and on the other side from Natalia. “I guess if the offer’s still open we would love to take you up on it.”
Frank grinned, clearly pleased with the events that he had orchestrated. “Absolutely. You’re welcome any time.”
Olivia almost snorted. She wondered how Frank would feel if she really did take him up on that. Probably not so happy, but then they wouldn’t get to find out because there was no way that she was putting herself through this on a regular basis.
“Great. I’ll bring the Goose.”
“Olivia,” Natalia admonished her gently.
“What? It’s not polite to show up empty handed.”
Olivia thought she saw Natalia roll her eyes and wondered if Frank had caught that little gesture. How surprised would he be if she kept pushing Natalia’s buttons? She knew Natalia wasn’t in love with her, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t get under Natalia’s skin faster than anyone else she had ever seen, and Natalia's reactions had always been a thing of beauty, when she had deigned to respond. But Olivia wasn’t going to play games with Natalia. Olivia had sworn that when she fell in love again she would do it all differently, and she had meant it. She would let Natalia go and refrain from punching her shoulder like a little boy on a playground who didn’t know any other way to express his feelings.
*** *** ***
“Have a seat anywhere,” Frank said, gesturing at the couch and easy chairs spread across the living room. “Can I get you anything? How about a beer?”
Beer sounded good. A martini sounded better. Punching Frank in the face for treating her like this hadn’t been her home just a short time ago sounded like the best idea she’d had all night.
Unfortunately she didn’t think Natalia would approve.
“No.” Olivia said with a forced smile. “I’m good.” She sat down on the couch, perching gingerly on the edge and crossing her legs. She tried not to think about sitting in this very spot and holding Natalia as she cried her heart out over sleeping with Frank. That way lay madness.
“Good, good.” Frank said, dropping into the nearest easy chair, his hand automatically going to the remote that rested on the arm of the chair.
Olivia wished that Emma would hurry back down soon. She had insisted on going upstairs to check on her old room and Olivia missed her presence already. This was more excruciating than the dinner with the Xiaos and Decker before Natalia had worked her miracles.
“Looking for a house, huh?” Frank asked rhetorically.
“I like living at the Beacon,” Olivia said, and once upon a time that had even been true, but now…now it was a different story. Not that she expected to feel differently in a new house. “If it was just me, I wouldn’t bother, but Emma’s gotten used to having a house and yard to run around in.”
Frank grinned. “Every kid should have a yard,” he agreed. “I’m sorry the two of you had to move out so quickly, but you know how it is when you love someone so much. You just have to be with them.”
She couldn’t do this. If she had to sit here and listen to Frank rhapsodize about Natalia all night there would be vomit and homicide. Probably in that order. Damn it, did he have to rub it in? If it had been anyone but Frank, she would have sworn that he knew and he was torturing her on purpose. As it was, it was just an unhappy coincidence, the sort of thing that only happened to Olivia Spencer. Wasn’t she just the luckiest girl in the whole world?
Biting back the hurt that welled up within her and the old familiar habits that it brought with it, Olivia forced herself to smile at him. “I remember how it is.” She hesitated. “You’re a very lucky man, Frankie. Don’t forget it.” She said it calmly and quietly, but there was no mistaking the subtle threat in her words.
If she couldn’t have Natalia, then she would make damn sure that Frank didn’t screw this up.
Tags: