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[Guiding Light Fic] July 5th - Otalia (8/14)
Title: July 5th
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Rafe Rivera, Blake Marler, Frank Cooper
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17 eventually, with mostly PG-13 stuff for now.
Word count: 36,471 (total)
Summary: It's the fifth of July. What will Natalia do?
Spoilers/Timeline Spoilers for everything through July 9th. Goes off canon after that.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: The song referenced in this update is Cheaptrick's Want You To Want Me, in case anyone wants to have a listen. I did. Multiple times. While I was writing this. It seemed appropriate.
Beta: Many thanks to aimlessla for looking over this massive thing for me, pointing out plot holes and my constant comma issues.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven
Part Eight
“Will you come inside?” Natalia asked, cradling one of Olivia’s hands between her own.
Olivia pursed her lips and shook her head regretfully. “I should get back to Emma. I wasn’t in a very good frame of mind this morning.”
Natalia suspected that was an understatement. She pressed a kiss to the knuckles of Olivia’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Olivia said reassuringly. “I believe you.”
“Thank you for believing me. You always have.”
“You make it easy,” Olivia admitted.
“Not this time,” Natalia countered.
“Maybe not,” Olivia agreed, “But you’re worth believing in.”
Natalia soaked in her words, taking the reassurance and love apparent in them and holding it close to her. She needed to believe in Olivia’s belief.
“I know,” Natalia began carefully, “that I didn’t make it yesterday, but can we still tell Emma about us now?”
Olivia hesitated for a moment and Natalia held her breath. Everything felt so fragile, as if one wrong word could destroy everything they had struggled to build together.
“You still want to do that?” Olivia asked finally.
“More than ever,” Natalia said emphatically.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Olivia blurted the words out, “but, Natalia, if you have any doubts, I need to know that before we think about telling Emma. She loves you so much. If we tell her that you’re going to be her other mommy and you can’t handle it...” Olivia shook her head. “I can’t do that to her again. I’ve put her through so much already. More than any little girl should have to handle.”
“I won’t,” Natalia said firmly. “I know what I want.”
“What about the baby?” Olivia questioned. “What about Frank?”
“I don’t know. I need to talk to him and I need to tell Rafe. I haven’t made any decisions yet. But what I do know, is that I want you to be a part of this baby’s life. Not just a part, but I want you to be his other-mommy. I want you to help me raise him or her. If that’s something that you think you might want.”
This was it, Olivia realized, the moment that she had to decide what she wanted. When she had confessed - yelled out - that she loved Natalia beside Gus’ grave, there had been no conscious decision to do so on her part. It was reflex, instinct and simply no longer being able to hold the words back. This time it was harder. Natalia, who she had thought wasn’t even capable of it, had hurt her and yet she still wanted Olivia. But that was what made it so hard, because Natalia had said that before and let her down. Had broken her heart. But she had come back. It came down to faith and trust.
“Come to the Beacon tonight for dinner,” Olivia said, making her decision in an instant. “We’ll tell Emma then.”
“Really?” Natalia’s face shown with hope and joy.
“Really,” Olivia confirmed, relieved that Natalia knew her well enough to hear the answer to one question in the other. Raising this baby with Natalia wasn’t something that Olivia could let herself imagine quite yet. Everything was still too fraught with uncertainty, but she wanted it more than she could put into words. “We can talk afterward.”
“Okay,” Natalia murmured. She tried to keep her gaze on Olivia’s eyes, but Natalia couldn’t help the way her eyes drifted down to Olivia’s lips. She wanted...
Olivia’s chuckle jerked her attention back up and Natalia blushed, a little embarrassed at being caught wanting so obviously.
“Was there something you wanted, Natalia?” Olivia asked teasingly.
Natalia thought about answering, flirting, giving into the shyness that she couldn’t rid herself of even as she wanted, but in the end she did none of that. She simply leaned forward and kissed Olivia again, letting her actions speak for themselves.
*** *** ***
For the second time that day, Natalia knocked on the door of Olivia’s Beacon suite. This time it was with a much lighter heart.
It was Emma who yanked the door open with a squeal. “Natalia! You came back.”
“I did, Sweetie.” Natalia wrapped the little girl in a hug and kissed the top of her head, even as she felt a pang of disappointment. Not about Emma. Never about Emma. But she had hoped, in the back of her mind for a moment alone with Olivia at the door, a moment where she didn’t have to hide her feelings, a moment where she might be able to kiss Olivia again. It was quickly turning in to an addiction. “I’m so glad your mommy invited me over. I’ve missed you both so much.”
Emma laughed. “But you were only gone a day!”
“I know,” Natalia said conspiratorially. “It’s silly, isn’t it? But you two are my favorite girls and I miss you whenever I’m not with you.”
“Now that’s what every girl likes to hear,” Olivia said.
Natalia jumped. She hadn’t heard Olivia come in behind them. “It’s true.”
Olivia smiled, telling Natalia without a word that things were okay. Natalia had wondered, knowing that the time apart would give Olivia time to think, to doubt. She had been willing to do whatever was necessary to reassure Olivia.
Olivia shifted her gaze to Emma and raised an eyebrow. “And what have I told you about opening the door without me?”
Emma looked dejected. “But it was Natalia. You said she was coming.”
“Uh-huh. But you didn’t know it was her. No more opening doors until you can see out the peephole.”
“Yes, Mommy,” Emma agreed dutifully.
Olivia shot a quick glance at Natalia. It sought something, even if Natalia wasn’t quite sure what Olivia was trying to ask. Olivia seemed to find whatever she needed in Natalia’s face though.
“Hang on a minute, Em,” Olivia said casually. “Natalia and I need to talk to you.”
“I didn’t do it,” Emma said quickly. Guiltily.
Natalia stifled the urge to laugh. It wasn’t hard. The thought of the conversation that Olivia was starting was plenty. They hadn’t had time to discuss what exactly they were going to tell Emma or how Olivia wanted to do this.
Please just let her be okay with this, Natalia prayed. Not like Rafe. She took a step closer to Olivia. To her surprise, Olivia held a hand out to her blindly, never taking her eyes off Emma. Natalia took it immediately, lacing their fingers together.
“Guilty conscience, Jellybean?” Olivia asked.
Emma shrugged, but her “oops” face, spoke louder than words.
“Uh-huh,” Olivia said knowingly. “We’ll talk about that later. Right now, we need to tell you something else. Let’s go sit down.”
Olivia led the three of them over to the couch. If Emma noticed them holding hands, she didn’t comment on it. It almost made Natalia feel ridiculous.
Olivia sat down first and pulled Emma up onto her lap, then patted the couch next to her for Natalia to come sit beside her. Natalia slipped in beside them, facing toward them with her arm on the back of the couch until they were almost encircled.
Olivia held Natalia’s gaze for a moment and then glanced down at Emma, pushing a stray piece of hair out of Emma’s face so that Olivia could see her better.
“You know how much I love you right, baby?” Olivia asked.
Emma nodded, wide-eyed.
“And you know that Natalia loves you just as much?”
Emma nodded again, but fear was starting to clench around Natalia’s heart. Something wasn’t right. She could tell that just by the look on Emma’s face. She glanced up at Olivia and saw her own concern reflected back there. She wondered if Olivia had any more idea than she did what Emma was thinking.
“Is it your heart?” Emma blurted out, twisting around so that she could see Olivia better. “Are you sick again, Mommy?”
“What?” Olivia asked, taken completely by surprise. “No, baby,” she answered quickly. “It’s not my heart. My heart is just fine,” she added with a quick glance at Natalia. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because you were so sad this morning and now you’re talking like you used to talk then, when you were sick.”
“Oh, Em,” Olivia said, wrapping her arms around her daughter and hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry we scared you.” She held her for a minute more, swaying back and forth with Emma in her lap. “Talking like this doesn’t have to be a bad thing, baby. In fact, Natalia and I are both very happy about what we have to tell you.”
“You are?” Emma asked, her voice holding the beginnings of curiosity.
“We are,” Olivia agreed. “Don’t you want to know what we’re so excited about?”
Emma nodded, a little bit of her usual enthusiasm and joy beginning to return.
Olivia found that her mouth was suddenly dry. She glanced over at Natalia, who looked wide-eyed and not a little bit freaked out. Panic gripped her that had nothing to do with Emma and everything to do with Natalia. If Natalia couldn’t handle this... Natalia had been the one who had asked to do this; she couldn’t freak out about it. If Natalia couldn’t face Emma how was she supposed to stand up to Father Ray or Rafe or Frank?
Natalia laid her hand on Olivia’s knee and shifted a little closer. Olivia was hyper-aware of Natalia’s hand and every where that it was touching.
“You know how your mommy and I are best friends?” Natalia asked. “Like you and Jodi.”
“Uh-huh,” Emma nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re BFF’s. Everybody knows that.”
“Right,” Natalia said, her fingers beginning to grip Olivia’s leg more tightly. “But we’re more than that.” She took a deep breath. “I love your mommy as more than a best friend.”
Emma’s face scrunched up as she tried to process that. She tilted her head, glancing up at her mother briefly before turning back to Natalia. “So, you love her like family?”
Natalia smiled, unable to help it. Being called Olivia’s family was something she always cherished. It had meant more than she could ever express when Emma had declared Natalia her other mommy. But this was something more too.
“Like family,” Natalia acknowledged. “But different. I love your mommy the way that someone loves a spouse.” So not looking at Olivia, but it was true and she wouldn’t take it back for anything.
“What does that mean?” Emma asked.
“Uh-” Natalia hadn’t thought beyond that comparison. She and Olivia had never had a chance to discuss this and she had no idea what Olivia thought they should say.
“Spouse means someone’s husband or wife, Jellybean,” Olivia stepped in seamlessly, as if she hadn’t just been stunned speechless moments before. Her mouth still felt dry and it was hard to swallow, but she almost felt like she could get through this conversation now.
“Oh,” Emma said. For a moment her face was blank. The only thing Natalia could tell was that Emma was seriously thinking about what they had said.
Natalia felt something brush her hand and glanced down. It was just the tip of Olivia’s pinkie finger, brushing against the back of her hand, where Olivia was holding Emma on her lap. It was clearly deliberate though and Natalia understood it for the gesture that it so obviously was. Her fear didn’t disappear but for the first time Natalia felt like she could breathe again. It felt almost like a childish gesture, but Natalia didn’t care. She flipped her hand over and hooked her pinkie through Olivia’s.
“So you love Mommy like a wife?” Emma asked.
Natalia hadn’t heard it put so bluntly before, but with the question in front of her a denial rang false. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much she wanted that exactly. “Something like that, yes,” she admitted, hoping that this wasn’t pushing too fast, too hard with Olivia.
Emma turned to look at her mother. “And you love Natalia the same way?”
Olivia just nodded, too overwhelmed with emotion to say anything.
Emma nodded back. “That’s cool.” She hesitated. “Can I go play now?”
Olivia felt stunned, like she had just hit a brick wall going 50 mph. She had been so braced for Emma’s reaction, any kind of reaction that her simple acceptance was hard to process.
“Yeah,” Olivia answered, sounding too-loud to her own ears as she managed to find her voice from somewhere. “Yeah, you can go play.”
Emma hopped down off her lap and a sudden thought hit Olivia.
“Wait, Em, there’s, uh, just one more thing.”
“Yes, Mommy?”
“Natalia and I might act a little, ah...differently around each other now, than we did before. I might...” Olivia searched her brain frantically for an example of how she hoped things might differ. “I might hold her or kiss her. Do you think you’d be okay with that?”
Olivia winced inwardly. Why had she asked that? What if Emma said no? She couldn’t, wouldn’t hide the way that she felt about Natalia, especially not from her own daughter. A sudden thought struck her. Was this how Natalia felt all the time? She had no idea how to make Rafe stop hating her and them, but it made her more determined than ever that she had to think of some way to bring Rafe on board.
“Like you kissed Bill?” Emma asked with a giggle.
Olivia felt her face heat and didn’t look at Natalia. She couldn’t believe she was blushing. How long had it been since she had done that? That thought just made her blush deepen. Olivia cleared her throat. “Sure, Jellybean. Like that.”
She wished with no real hope of it happening that Natalia would just forget this entire conversation.
“Okay,” Emma said with a shrug. “But I don’t see what’s so great about kissing. When Derek kissed me it was just all wet and icky.”
For a moment, Olivia thought she was going to faint. Then she decided that it would probably be a relief. Unfortunately, she wasn’t so lucky.
“Yeah,” Natalia said easily. “I know what you mean, but it does get better when you get older. You should probably wait a few more years before you give it another try.”
Emma looked doubtful. “Okay. But I can still go play, right?”
“Yes, you can,” Natalia agreed. “I’ll come get you when dinner’s here,” she added as Emma made a bee-line for her room.
Sitting next to her, Olivia still looked stunned. She sank back into the couch, her hands coming up to cover her eyes. “Oh my God,” she murmured. She took her hands off her face and stared at Natalia. “My baby kissed a boy.”
Natalia almost felt like laughing. “I don’t think it was quite like that.” She settled in to the couch next to Olivia and reached over to take her hand. “It will be okay.”
Olivia snorted. “I’m not ready for my baby to start noticing boys.”
“I don’t think she is,” Natalia said. “Not yet. But, when she does, we’ll deal with it together.”
Olivia’s hand twitched under hers but she didn’t say anything. She stared unseeingly after Emma. They had sat there together in silence for so long that Natalia’s thoughts had started to drift, content just to be with Olivia, not needing to say or do anything in particular, when Olivia spoke.
“I love you.”
Natalia squeezed her hand and tried not to show how much hearing those three words from Olivia without prompting meant to her. She thought it might be too much.
“I love you too.”
Fandom: Guiding Light
Characters: Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Rafe Rivera, Blake Marler, Frank Cooper
Category: Angst, Romance, Drama
Rating: NC-17 eventually, with mostly PG-13 stuff for now.
Word count: 36,471 (total)
Summary: It's the fifth of July. What will Natalia do?
Spoilers/Timeline Spoilers for everything through July 9th. Goes off canon after that.
Disclaimer: All characters (Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, blah blah etc.) and situations belong to Guiding Light, Telenext, Proctor & Gamble, etc. I'm not them.
Author's Note: The song referenced in this update is Cheaptrick's Want You To Want Me, in case anyone wants to have a listen. I did. Multiple times. While I was writing this. It seemed appropriate.
Beta: Many thanks to aimlessla for looking over this massive thing for me, pointing out plot holes and my constant comma issues.
Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven
Part Eight
“Will you come inside?” Natalia asked, cradling one of Olivia’s hands between her own.
Olivia pursed her lips and shook her head regretfully. “I should get back to Emma. I wasn’t in a very good frame of mind this morning.”
Natalia suspected that was an understatement. She pressed a kiss to the knuckles of Olivia’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Olivia said reassuringly. “I believe you.”
“Thank you for believing me. You always have.”
“You make it easy,” Olivia admitted.
“Not this time,” Natalia countered.
“Maybe not,” Olivia agreed, “But you’re worth believing in.”
Natalia soaked in her words, taking the reassurance and love apparent in them and holding it close to her. She needed to believe in Olivia’s belief.
“I know,” Natalia began carefully, “that I didn’t make it yesterday, but can we still tell Emma about us now?”
Olivia hesitated for a moment and Natalia held her breath. Everything felt so fragile, as if one wrong word could destroy everything they had struggled to build together.
“You still want to do that?” Olivia asked finally.
“More than ever,” Natalia said emphatically.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Olivia blurted the words out, “but, Natalia, if you have any doubts, I need to know that before we think about telling Emma. She loves you so much. If we tell her that you’re going to be her other mommy and you can’t handle it...” Olivia shook her head. “I can’t do that to her again. I’ve put her through so much already. More than any little girl should have to handle.”
“I won’t,” Natalia said firmly. “I know what I want.”
“What about the baby?” Olivia questioned. “What about Frank?”
“I don’t know. I need to talk to him and I need to tell Rafe. I haven’t made any decisions yet. But what I do know, is that I want you to be a part of this baby’s life. Not just a part, but I want you to be his other-mommy. I want you to help me raise him or her. If that’s something that you think you might want.”
This was it, Olivia realized, the moment that she had to decide what she wanted. When she had confessed - yelled out - that she loved Natalia beside Gus’ grave, there had been no conscious decision to do so on her part. It was reflex, instinct and simply no longer being able to hold the words back. This time it was harder. Natalia, who she had thought wasn’t even capable of it, had hurt her and yet she still wanted Olivia. But that was what made it so hard, because Natalia had said that before and let her down. Had broken her heart. But she had come back. It came down to faith and trust.
“Come to the Beacon tonight for dinner,” Olivia said, making her decision in an instant. “We’ll tell Emma then.”
“Really?” Natalia’s face shown with hope and joy.
“Really,” Olivia confirmed, relieved that Natalia knew her well enough to hear the answer to one question in the other. Raising this baby with Natalia wasn’t something that Olivia could let herself imagine quite yet. Everything was still too fraught with uncertainty, but she wanted it more than she could put into words. “We can talk afterward.”
“Okay,” Natalia murmured. She tried to keep her gaze on Olivia’s eyes, but Natalia couldn’t help the way her eyes drifted down to Olivia’s lips. She wanted...
Olivia’s chuckle jerked her attention back up and Natalia blushed, a little embarrassed at being caught wanting so obviously.
“Was there something you wanted, Natalia?” Olivia asked teasingly.
Natalia thought about answering, flirting, giving into the shyness that she couldn’t rid herself of even as she wanted, but in the end she did none of that. She simply leaned forward and kissed Olivia again, letting her actions speak for themselves.
*** *** ***
For the second time that day, Natalia knocked on the door of Olivia’s Beacon suite. This time it was with a much lighter heart.
It was Emma who yanked the door open with a squeal. “Natalia! You came back.”
“I did, Sweetie.” Natalia wrapped the little girl in a hug and kissed the top of her head, even as she felt a pang of disappointment. Not about Emma. Never about Emma. But she had hoped, in the back of her mind for a moment alone with Olivia at the door, a moment where she didn’t have to hide her feelings, a moment where she might be able to kiss Olivia again. It was quickly turning in to an addiction. “I’m so glad your mommy invited me over. I’ve missed you both so much.”
Emma laughed. “But you were only gone a day!”
“I know,” Natalia said conspiratorially. “It’s silly, isn’t it? But you two are my favorite girls and I miss you whenever I’m not with you.”
“Now that’s what every girl likes to hear,” Olivia said.
Natalia jumped. She hadn’t heard Olivia come in behind them. “It’s true.”
Olivia smiled, telling Natalia without a word that things were okay. Natalia had wondered, knowing that the time apart would give Olivia time to think, to doubt. She had been willing to do whatever was necessary to reassure Olivia.
Olivia shifted her gaze to Emma and raised an eyebrow. “And what have I told you about opening the door without me?”
Emma looked dejected. “But it was Natalia. You said she was coming.”
“Uh-huh. But you didn’t know it was her. No more opening doors until you can see out the peephole.”
“Yes, Mommy,” Emma agreed dutifully.
Olivia shot a quick glance at Natalia. It sought something, even if Natalia wasn’t quite sure what Olivia was trying to ask. Olivia seemed to find whatever she needed in Natalia’s face though.
“Hang on a minute, Em,” Olivia said casually. “Natalia and I need to talk to you.”
“I didn’t do it,” Emma said quickly. Guiltily.
Natalia stifled the urge to laugh. It wasn’t hard. The thought of the conversation that Olivia was starting was plenty. They hadn’t had time to discuss what exactly they were going to tell Emma or how Olivia wanted to do this.
Please just let her be okay with this, Natalia prayed. Not like Rafe. She took a step closer to Olivia. To her surprise, Olivia held a hand out to her blindly, never taking her eyes off Emma. Natalia took it immediately, lacing their fingers together.
“Guilty conscience, Jellybean?” Olivia asked.
Emma shrugged, but her “oops” face, spoke louder than words.
“Uh-huh,” Olivia said knowingly. “We’ll talk about that later. Right now, we need to tell you something else. Let’s go sit down.”
Olivia led the three of them over to the couch. If Emma noticed them holding hands, she didn’t comment on it. It almost made Natalia feel ridiculous.
Olivia sat down first and pulled Emma up onto her lap, then patted the couch next to her for Natalia to come sit beside her. Natalia slipped in beside them, facing toward them with her arm on the back of the couch until they were almost encircled.
Olivia held Natalia’s gaze for a moment and then glanced down at Emma, pushing a stray piece of hair out of Emma’s face so that Olivia could see her better.
“You know how much I love you right, baby?” Olivia asked.
Emma nodded, wide-eyed.
“And you know that Natalia loves you just as much?”
Emma nodded again, but fear was starting to clench around Natalia’s heart. Something wasn’t right. She could tell that just by the look on Emma’s face. She glanced up at Olivia and saw her own concern reflected back there. She wondered if Olivia had any more idea than she did what Emma was thinking.
“Is it your heart?” Emma blurted out, twisting around so that she could see Olivia better. “Are you sick again, Mommy?”
“What?” Olivia asked, taken completely by surprise. “No, baby,” she answered quickly. “It’s not my heart. My heart is just fine,” she added with a quick glance at Natalia. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because you were so sad this morning and now you’re talking like you used to talk then, when you were sick.”
“Oh, Em,” Olivia said, wrapping her arms around her daughter and hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry we scared you.” She held her for a minute more, swaying back and forth with Emma in her lap. “Talking like this doesn’t have to be a bad thing, baby. In fact, Natalia and I are both very happy about what we have to tell you.”
“You are?” Emma asked, her voice holding the beginnings of curiosity.
“We are,” Olivia agreed. “Don’t you want to know what we’re so excited about?”
Emma nodded, a little bit of her usual enthusiasm and joy beginning to return.
Olivia found that her mouth was suddenly dry. She glanced over at Natalia, who looked wide-eyed and not a little bit freaked out. Panic gripped her that had nothing to do with Emma and everything to do with Natalia. If Natalia couldn’t handle this... Natalia had been the one who had asked to do this; she couldn’t freak out about it. If Natalia couldn’t face Emma how was she supposed to stand up to Father Ray or Rafe or Frank?
Natalia laid her hand on Olivia’s knee and shifted a little closer. Olivia was hyper-aware of Natalia’s hand and every where that it was touching.
“You know how your mommy and I are best friends?” Natalia asked. “Like you and Jodi.”
“Uh-huh,” Emma nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re BFF’s. Everybody knows that.”
“Right,” Natalia said, her fingers beginning to grip Olivia’s leg more tightly. “But we’re more than that.” She took a deep breath. “I love your mommy as more than a best friend.”
Emma’s face scrunched up as she tried to process that. She tilted her head, glancing up at her mother briefly before turning back to Natalia. “So, you love her like family?”
Natalia smiled, unable to help it. Being called Olivia’s family was something she always cherished. It had meant more than she could ever express when Emma had declared Natalia her other mommy. But this was something more too.
“Like family,” Natalia acknowledged. “But different. I love your mommy the way that someone loves a spouse.” So not looking at Olivia, but it was true and she wouldn’t take it back for anything.
“What does that mean?” Emma asked.
“Uh-” Natalia hadn’t thought beyond that comparison. She and Olivia had never had a chance to discuss this and she had no idea what Olivia thought they should say.
“Spouse means someone’s husband or wife, Jellybean,” Olivia stepped in seamlessly, as if she hadn’t just been stunned speechless moments before. Her mouth still felt dry and it was hard to swallow, but she almost felt like she could get through this conversation now.
“Oh,” Emma said. For a moment her face was blank. The only thing Natalia could tell was that Emma was seriously thinking about what they had said.
Natalia felt something brush her hand and glanced down. It was just the tip of Olivia’s pinkie finger, brushing against the back of her hand, where Olivia was holding Emma on her lap. It was clearly deliberate though and Natalia understood it for the gesture that it so obviously was. Her fear didn’t disappear but for the first time Natalia felt like she could breathe again. It felt almost like a childish gesture, but Natalia didn’t care. She flipped her hand over and hooked her pinkie through Olivia’s.
“So you love Mommy like a wife?” Emma asked.
Natalia hadn’t heard it put so bluntly before, but with the question in front of her a denial rang false. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much she wanted that exactly. “Something like that, yes,” she admitted, hoping that this wasn’t pushing too fast, too hard with Olivia.
Emma turned to look at her mother. “And you love Natalia the same way?”
Olivia just nodded, too overwhelmed with emotion to say anything.
Emma nodded back. “That’s cool.” She hesitated. “Can I go play now?”
Olivia felt stunned, like she had just hit a brick wall going 50 mph. She had been so braced for Emma’s reaction, any kind of reaction that her simple acceptance was hard to process.
“Yeah,” Olivia answered, sounding too-loud to her own ears as she managed to find her voice from somewhere. “Yeah, you can go play.”
Emma hopped down off her lap and a sudden thought hit Olivia.
“Wait, Em, there’s, uh, just one more thing.”
“Yes, Mommy?”
“Natalia and I might act a little, ah...differently around each other now, than we did before. I might...” Olivia searched her brain frantically for an example of how she hoped things might differ. “I might hold her or kiss her. Do you think you’d be okay with that?”
Olivia winced inwardly. Why had she asked that? What if Emma said no? She couldn’t, wouldn’t hide the way that she felt about Natalia, especially not from her own daughter. A sudden thought struck her. Was this how Natalia felt all the time? She had no idea how to make Rafe stop hating her and them, but it made her more determined than ever that she had to think of some way to bring Rafe on board.
“Like you kissed Bill?” Emma asked with a giggle.
Olivia felt her face heat and didn’t look at Natalia. She couldn’t believe she was blushing. How long had it been since she had done that? That thought just made her blush deepen. Olivia cleared her throat. “Sure, Jellybean. Like that.”
She wished with no real hope of it happening that Natalia would just forget this entire conversation.
“Okay,” Emma said with a shrug. “But I don’t see what’s so great about kissing. When Derek kissed me it was just all wet and icky.”
For a moment, Olivia thought she was going to faint. Then she decided that it would probably be a relief. Unfortunately, she wasn’t so lucky.
“Yeah,” Natalia said easily. “I know what you mean, but it does get better when you get older. You should probably wait a few more years before you give it another try.”
Emma looked doubtful. “Okay. But I can still go play, right?”
“Yes, you can,” Natalia agreed. “I’ll come get you when dinner’s here,” she added as Emma made a bee-line for her room.
Sitting next to her, Olivia still looked stunned. She sank back into the couch, her hands coming up to cover her eyes. “Oh my God,” she murmured. She took her hands off her face and stared at Natalia. “My baby kissed a boy.”
Natalia almost felt like laughing. “I don’t think it was quite like that.” She settled in to the couch next to Olivia and reached over to take her hand. “It will be okay.”
Olivia snorted. “I’m not ready for my baby to start noticing boys.”
“I don’t think she is,” Natalia said. “Not yet. But, when she does, we’ll deal with it together.”
Olivia’s hand twitched under hers but she didn’t say anything. She stared unseeingly after Emma. They had sat there together in silence for so long that Natalia’s thoughts had started to drift, content just to be with Olivia, not needing to say or do anything in particular, when Olivia spoke.
“I love you.”
Natalia squeezed her hand and tried not to show how much hearing those three words from Olivia without prompting meant to her. She thought it might be too much.
“I love you too.”
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I don't know if I said this or not but your writing is some of the best that I have read.
Please keep writing!
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Thank you. I'm really glad you're enjoying it. :)
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My thoughts exactly!
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Now I'm waiting for their more serious talk they wanted to have that evening.
Great story and wonderful how often you update
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Loved Natalia first bringing up to Emma that she loves Olivia as a spouse would, and Olivia's subsequent reaction. I don't think she'd quite anticipated that even as she probably hoped for it.
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Yeah, I think even though it seems fairly obvious to everyone except maybe Olivia, that is how Natalia feels. It's just that those are all the things that Olivia really needs to hear now that Natalia's left.