[NCIS Double Drabble] As Small As A Broken Heart - Ziva/Abby

[jaina47]

Title: As Small As A Broken Heart
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Ziva David, Abby Sciuto, Michael Rivkin
Category: Angst, Drabble
Genre: Femslash
Word Count: 200 exactly. A double drabble because I had more to say after I got to 100. ;)
Spoilers: Big time for Aliyah. Don't blame me.  Here be spoilers!!
Summary: When Michael lays his hand on her arm and says, "Your father sent me here for you." Ziva doesn't make a decision.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Angst. Angsty 'Angst' McAngsterton.  I've been kind of stuck in a no writing kind of head space concerning NCIS for a while now because I had a feeling I was not going to be feeling all happy and femslashy about the finale...and I was right.  So to get it out of my system I went to the ansty place.  All the way. No happy smiley-ness here. You have been warned.  Now maybe this will get it all out of my system so I can go finish the four works in progress that I have going, for Pete's sake! And that's just the NCIS fics!


When Michael lays his hand on her arm and says, "Your father sent me here for you." Ziva doesn't make a decision.

There is no decision to make. It was decided when she was eighteen - not by her father, but by herself - as she holds her sister's bloodied body in the streets of Tel Aviv and watches as her life drains away. 

She does not join Mossad; she becomes Mossad. She is the tip of the spear and the shaft too. There are no jobs too dirty; no lines that she will hesitate to cross if it is required. She does what must be done.

There are no second thoughts now. No decisions to be made.

She will break hearts; her own first and most definitely. The few pieces that are not already shattered by this will undoubtedly crumble when she next sees Abby.

Ziva wonders when her betrayal will be known and tries to imagine the depths of Abby’s hatred. Yet everything she can picture isn’t quite enough.

Her heart breaks because this isn’t what she wanted, but she will not change a thing. Her heart breaks because the woman she loves will never truly know it.

 

Comments

[ariestess]

Ooooooers... That was lovely! Heartbreaking, but lovely!

I really liked the sense of... futility and inevitability in Ziva.

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

It's not that I don't think Ziva doesn't have the strength of mind and will to change her course, it's just that despite the cost I don't think she wants to.

I see Ziva as a big picture girl. That's why she shot Ari. Because her loyalty to her brother was less than her loyalty to her country or to Gibbs who was by extension in the right and fighting the good fight so to speak. She values the emotional consequences less than the bigger picture.

So, she will make the choice that hurts more emotionally to save lives and do what she thinks is the right thing. Which is why I think she did what she did at the end of the season.

She was making a personal sacrifice staying there, and doing the right thing. Telling Gibbs that she would betray him if she went back and to not let her do that. I think that took a lot of guts and courage and I really respect that. I was just trying to capture a little bit of that, and it really does translate to futile and inevitable, because I don't think there's anything in her that would even be willing to reconsider her choices or even consider reconsidering her choices if that makes sense at all. :p

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

tehre havent been spoilers that Cote is leaving the show right? Because I will throw something yo.

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

No, I they left a very obvious way for her to come back in the finale and the spoilers that I did read did say anything about her leaving. All signs point to her still being there, and honestly I can't see them kicking her off. That would be so stupid for a myriad of reasons at this point in the show.

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

i need to watch it this week. I can't believe i forgot! damn work. But yeah! it sounds like it was good, if gut wrenching. And I'm excited for the spinoff! because its about damn time Louise Lombard got her own show so I can leer at her as much as I want

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

Hehe! Did you see the two episodes where they were introducing the spinoff? I don't know what the actress' name is but Kenzie was pretty smokin' hot too. I definitely drooled.

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

oh HELL yes I watched them! lol. And i really like teh back story they gave Mace.

Oh and other chick? Sooo. Hot. The way she drove that car? lol omg i nearly died.

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

Just think of the femslash potential. Two female characters who might happen to have scenes together more than once every month or so! The scandal!

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

omg. I hadnt even thought of that! Someone take away my femslashers card! *gets excited for the show all over again*

[ariestess]

First? My bad for not commenting sooner...

Second? STILL haven't watched the finale yet. We've been kind of avoiding it...

Third? I agree about Ziva being a "big picture" kind of girl. Totally.

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

*flails* omgs teh agnst!! and I LOVE IT. And i just realized i have not seen the season finale!! *gasps*

Seriously, i always adore teh way you write Ziva but this is even better than usual. :)

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

It's worth watching I think. Not all fun and fluff, but I liked it. Like Shalom and the season opener this season, it was a really great episode for character development for Ziva. So of course, I adored it.

Heh. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This sorta helped me with my NCIS related writer's block...I think. Maybe. Kinda. :D

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

it was a really great episode for character development for Ziva. So of course, I adored it.

well naturally! lol

Ooh and yay!! for getting over writer's block!

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe. I did finish one other Ziva/Abby fic I'd been working on today, but I'm holding off on posting it because I signed up for dogged_by_muses with something NCIS and the NCIS Zombie fic is very slow going.

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

LOL zombie fic?! nice

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

It's all cirroco_desade's fault! And yet I think if I do it right, I almost found a way to make it sort of plausible!

Yikes!

[racethewind10.livejournal.com]

hey, if Pride and Prejudice and Zombies can work, i imagine this can too ;p

[cirroco-desade.livejournal.com]

*blinks*
I get busy for a few months... go away, don't have time to read for a while... come back and spend a bit of time trying to catch up on my favorite community's writing... and imagine my surprise at finding you blaming me for plot bunnies!

*smirk* heh.

I liked this one btw. Sad, but oh so very plausible.

[demoka.livejournal.com]

omg! I finally remembered to read this after watching Aliyah!
..... *is terribly angsty about it too, this just made it more heart breaking*


and omg it's so short because of the finality of it all?!? *i don't like that Ziva has to take up the mantle for everyone.... or so she thinks...*

omg when I saw that last bit I just raged for ages... I hope for the better in the next season

but yes, wow to this piece. just wow.